On Today’s Show International Edition (per sponsor Whimsical) Germany’s booming sausage vending machine industry. Amsterdam’s massive porn convention: burnout, AI sex avatars, and performers hospitalized after 583-man gang bangs. Japan’s now-defunct “Rental Kowaihito” service letting you hire intimidating tough guys to settle disputes. U.S. Weirdness A completely derailed city council meeting filled with racism, chaos, and cut microphones. Fallout after Charlie Kirk is assassinated on a college campus. DV reviews the meltdown: crying fans, violent threats, “fake outrage” actors, and a divided Congress bickering over whether prayer should be silent or shouted. Music Corner David Lee Roth attempts to perform Van Halen classics… emphasis on attempts. A soundboard revisit of Diamond Dave’s isolated howls, shrieks, and “oh yeahs.” DV Community & Sponsorships Listener Whimsical demands a “BBC newsreader” British accent. Tim tries, fails, and leans into Austin Powers. Mead Skelton offers to write a DV song for $25—Tim invites freaks to send in suggested words/phrases. Richard Simmons sings “Happy Birthday” to listener PromoCodeFreak and shills a prostate toy from Adam & Eve. Patreon update: $20 patrons will soon get stainless steel DV travel mugs in the next merch drop. Episode sponsorship slots still available for $25. Programming Note Next week Tim will be in Ashtabula; expect shorter shows and possibly a “best of.” Bonus segments pushed later in the week. Listener Voicemails Lord Douche’s endless collections (ice cream cartons, soda cans) spark debate. Calls for a “Lord Douche Reality Podcast” where he tells his side of the story. Birthday requests and DV memories from longtime freaks.