Show full transcript 1:22 such a lack of self-worth, self-actualisation that people think that they're better off 1:30 taking himself out the gate game and the iron email is oh I can tell you this story my buddy 1:37 Craig was supposed to be in the boat next to us when we rode across the atlantic. 1:41 you love these podcasts and you want to be one of the lucky few to get them 1:44 earlier then please go over to my sub-stack and 1:48 subscribe there it's only seven pan a month and it will basically give you 1:51 early access to all my podcasts and coming soon I want to be doing 1:57 some private webinars as well for members 2:01 so it will be a combination of previous guests that have been on 2:04 so you get the opportunity to personally ask questions 2:07 for your own situation or for your own education and also don't forget to like 2:13 comment share and subscribe I hit over 10,000 a few weeks to go and I really 2:18 really want to keep growing this channel and because I know so many of you get a 2:22 lot of value and finally you want your body to stay strong and healthy while 2:28 we have all the multiple smart devices and radiation that's attacking our 2:32 body every day don't forget you can also get a discount through my 2:36 special code never settle which I'll put on the screen and it's down in the description 2:41 and go and buy your stickers to put on your phone, your smart meters, your electric cars 2:45 and anything else that might be giving you irritations in day-to-day life. Thanks guys. 2:51 Well hello lovely listeners and welcome viewers. Today I have a wonderful new guest, 2:58 Chris Thrall. Chris it's fair to say has done a shed load with his life. An ex marine, 3:05 you joined the Marines when you were 18, born in southeast London, and you left the Marines to run 3:12 a successful business in Asia. It doesn't say on your bio what that is, so I'm interested to know 3:16 what that is. But you basically ended up in a world of pain really, suffering mental illness 3:22 from crystal meth addiction. And you work for the triad family in Hong Kong. Not many people 3:28 can say that I don't think. You're an extreme endurance athlete, you've done a lot of a lot of 3:36 things, good things for people, you're supporting the veterans and you're going up Everest in April 3:45 which I think you're crazy but lots of people do it so fair play to you and you're also a 3:52 truth seeker for want of a better phrase. I never know what to call it these days because 3:56 Because the truth is subjective. My truth is different to your truth is different to somebody else's truth, right? 4:02 And what is the absolute truth? There can't be an absolute truth because people's perspectives and experiences and emotions all get in the way and everything is different for different people. 4:13 But people know what we mean by that. So welcome. It's an absolute honour to have you on truly. 4:21 I said to you earlier, I was watching your interview with Robbie Williams, which was a few years ago now. 4:27 And I'd always thought, is he a goodan, a badan, you know, and all these thoughts that we all have about some of these celebrities? 4:34 And I get the feeling he's a goodan, so I was quite pleased about that. 4:37 But welcome, Chris, it's amazing to have you. 4:41 Yeah, my pleasure now, it's always nice to get an invite. 4:49 Well it was actually one of my viewers that pinged me a message and said you need to get 4:54 this guy on. So I'll give a shout out to Jeff. Thanks Jeff. It was Jeff that got me to get 5:01 you on. So I've still got a pay Jeff. We all love a bit of a back story on this channel 5:12 and and also sort of what have you always been awake and what woke you up and all 5:17 that kind of stuff but I know you've done a shed load so take us back as far as 5:22 you want to go Chris in terms of your your some of your history yeah okay 5:29 thanks Mel so in in a nutshell because I've written three memoirs about my 5:39 backstory. How can you say? So I left the Royal Marines to go and run what was a 5:48 fairly successful business, albeit for a limited period in Asia in Hong Kong. And 5:58 I'd had sort of quite an interesting time in the Marines. I served, I went 6:05 straight on active service in the Northern Ireland conflict, which was quite an eye-opener. 6:11 Did Arctic warfare training up in the north of Norway? And then I was part of a high security 6:18 detachment on an aircraft carrier. You must have crossed paths with Mick because he was 6:35 Yeah, so we sailed around the world for a year, it was absolutely amazing. 6:42 And yeah, this business opportunity came along, so I was running this, it was an international 6:51 network marketing business, anyone may remember, it was called Quorum International and I gave 6:58 it what they said, they said, give it a year and see where you're at. 7:03 So I gave it a year and by the end of that year I had the biggest business in the Asia-Pacific for Corum International 7:11 and they had already been established for two years in the USA. 7:16 So for me to have done what I did, especially whilst working part-time because I was a full-time Marine, 7:25 it was a combination of hard work and a bit of good luck 7:30 because I met a chap called Vance Lee in Hong Kong. He was in the British Army but he was exceptionally 7:37 good at network marketing. What was the product? It was consumer electronics. They brought out the 7:47 personal attack alarm predominantly for women but you know can be used across the board I suppose 7:54 depending on your circumstances. But back then security was quite a big thing. Do you remember 8:01 in the 90s it wasn't unusual to have your car broken into and your stereo stolen or you know 8:07 house breaking was a lot more it seemed to be a bigger thing that I think I think the whole 8:13 heroin thing was probably timing as well before the methadone program came in this. 8:19 But um, so I was running around the bar, it's literally like a crazy person just approaching all my marine buddies with this personal tackle arm. 8:29 Obviously they all worked away from their partners so that it was a kind of easy sell. 8:35 And the next thing you knew I was two positions away from the top of this company, which is all sort of by the way. 8:42 But in my mind, I was heading for the proverbial or what they call in network marketing financial 8:52 freedom for life. And this is all materialistic stuff. I don't need to explain what being 9:00 young and ego driven is to your audience. But I was young, incredibly damaging, damaged 9:09 childhood so for me life was all about proving proving myself to me to every 9:16 you know to everybody else so there I was in the Marines I was getting paid one 9:23 month I got paid 2,600 pounds from my business and the Marines were only 9:28 paying me a thousand pounds a month I drove a almost brand new BMW and I had 9:37 a mobile phone when people used to say what's that and I was you know young fit 9:46 am I allowed to say handsome yeah there you go you know I'd go downtown with the 9:53 lads and I come back with all these phone numbers in my pocket and that sort 9:59 sort of thing us young Marines did and I'm saying this not not to not to you 10:04 sound big-headed it's just that seven months later or certainly seven months 10:11 after arriving in Hong Kong I was homeless, chronically addicted to crystal 10:18 methamphetamine and phasing in and out of clinical psychosis so severe mental 10:26 illness whilst working as a nightclub doorman in a club in Wan Chai which is 10:33 it's like a gangland nightclub district in Hong Kong whilst working for a night 10:44 as a nightclub dormant on a club run by the 14k who were one of Hong Kong's 10:50 notorious triad brotherhoods. Now I was just a dormant because they employed 10:58 Western doorman to understand the Western clientele. I was never a triad. I would 11:04 say I was never interested to be a triad but the truth is they kind of provided 11:10 me a family like the Marines did for those seven years and it was a sort of 11:19 special thing. One minute I was there homeless, sat on my backpack on the 11:23 Nathan Road, watching all the BMWs and the Mercedes drive-by wondering what 11:32 happened with my life. The next thing I'm the sort of front man on a club full of 11:41 these Hong Kong Chinese Hong Kong hard men all covered in dragon tattoos and 11:48 really feeling like a part of something and especially I think it was almost the 11:54 first morning that they said are you gonna come to breakfast with us and we 12:00 were walking down through the the morning commute commuters and we looked 12:07 like if you remember the film Reservoir Dogs it was you know there's all of a 12:13 side-by-side and everyone knows to get out your way because you know these 12:17 guys are triads and yeah for a young ego maniac it was a it was a really 12:24 special thing but I'm just trying to say now that I was never a triad you I don't 12:28 think you can be as a white person or a non non Chinese blooded person the 12:33 whole point of my memoir which is called eating smoke which I strongly 12:38 suggest anyone reads. It's a funny book. It's also sad in places. But actually detailing 12:48 that like my journey over there and how you end up becoming that guy who when he walks 12:56 down the street people cross the road literally talking what to other people would sound gibberish 13:05 but to you it it all sort of makes sense and um is that how you ended up homeless Chris from 13:11 because you were successful got into the drugs and then basically screwed it all up from being on drugs 13:19 yeah i don't like to use terms like screwed it up now because i live in paradise 13:25 i have the most beautiful family anyone could ever imagine i'm probably and again this sound 13:31 a bit headed but I don't know many enlightened people. I know lots of people 13:37 that are awake but as I always say on my show, being awake is one thing but you're 13:44 still operating in the matrix. Enlightenment is something almost like 13:50 different altogether and I'll explain how that came around for me and so 13:56 So as someone who lives in the light, you don't have bad experiences, you just have life experience. 14:07 And if you were to come and meet my family, you'd know that I've obviously made all the 14:13 right decisions in my life, because like I say, I live in paradise, and there's not 14:19 an awful lot of people I think, you know, I get a lot of people on my channel that 14:25 they're like Chris I get it mate I'm like yeah you get it and that that that starts when you stop 14:31 being a victim a life doesn't do to you you do to life is that it is a whole you know range of 14:40 things that need to manifest but I when I came back to the UK from Hong Kong I was chronically 14:48 depressed for about 18 months I was I was banging up base amphetamine whenever I 14:56 could get my benefit money and I could buy some and then I'd crash because I 15:01 spent all the money I'd crash for days on end I just unable to get off of this 15:07 like filthy sofa bed that I that I lived on I managed to trash my whole 15:12 place and things got really really dark and to the point where I couldn't go and 15:21 eat lower mel and even I at that lowest point which was probably nervous 15:28 breakdown number three by that stage just absolutely crying because I couldn't 15:36 understand what what had happened to me and I was thinking of that little boy 15:41 that I used to be when I went through loads of stuff that no child really 15:45 should go through at the hands of you know adults and the people that are 15:50 supposed to protect you and nurture you and cherish you and look after you and 15:55 and in that moment I just thought hang on Chris who's looking after that little 16:00 boy now you're not doing a very good job of it mate you're shoving drugs in 16:04 his arm at every opportunity you're too ashamed of your appearance now to go 16:11 out the front door and you know what you used to be that handsome marine with a 16:17 flashy cars and a long list of you know always a girl you could call at the end 16:23 and that might be mere materialistic bullshit mate but at least you had 16:30 materialistic bullshit you what have you got now you got nothing you know and it 16:35 was at that moment I I I found the key to this fabled thing called enlightenment 16:44 and the key was and I didn't know this I just decided leave the past behind heal 16:51 it leave it forgive everybody involved it's not going to do you any favors 16:56 taking grudges forward in your life in any way whatsoever I think it's that 17:02 cliche of you're drinking a poison and expecting other people to feel you know 17:07 feel pain so I thought do you know what let's embrace my past let's be proud of 17:14 it and and and let's be grateful that I've had the experience of an abusive 17:21 childhood so I because I've learned from it and I can help other people to 17:25 understand theirs now so let's do that secondly let's be grateful for this life 17:31 rather than you know trying to dull myself down to numb numb it all why don't 17:39 actually stop being grateful because a lot of my marine buddies were dead by 17:42 then you know we we we lost a guy I think it was like within the first week 17:49 in the Northern Ireland conflict. I had buddies, we're guys killed surfing on 17:56 trains, we had guys killed running away from the police on a night out, my buddy 18:04 Simo that I was in Northern Ireland with he got knocked off his motorbike when 18:10 we when we got back, Dave another close buddy of mine, we shared a room together 18:17 he gassed himself up on Dartmoor when we got back this is this is not conflict 18:24 related by this is you know this is why I talk a lot about childhood trauma and so 18:30 I thought you know what what would they give now to be here where I am having 18:36 this crack at life they'd give anything wouldn't they because it they'd be 18:40 like whatever I need to do where do I sign oh drug no don't need any of that 18:46 don't need no just just I just want to live you know and I thought right let's 18:53 be grateful and the third thing is take action and I knew well you know I didn't 19:03 know this like I said but I knew in my heart only I could change things now 19:07 and I had to start taking responsibility for my journey and the 19:13 next I thought I'm never gonna be an angel I don't want to be an angel I don't 19:17 want to go to sort of self-help groups or the church because I'm just hearing 19:23 people stand up and call themselves failures I'll just be like fuck off 19:26 I'm not a failure in any way shape or form I'm someone that come from a really 19:30 challenging childhood and that's manifested in my adult life because I'm 19:35 I'm not healed so I thought yeah I've got to do this my way and I made a 19:42 promised to myself to cut down on the gear and rather than spend all of my 19:47 benefits every fortnight on it and then be chronically depressed and shivering 19:51 cold and literally starving like a wild emaciated animal I thought I'm gonna 20:00 I'm gonna get a £10 bag do it in do they call it acting out in in 20:06 addiction parlance you know you get all your stuff together and you it's a bit 20:12 like when you choose your bottle of wine in Tesco you know you get all that sort 20:16 of excitement that alright you know I'm gonna have a drink tonight just it's 20:21 just slightly more sort of seedy when you're banging up drugs and I thought 20:29 right when that ten quid's gone that's it I'm not gonna be like picking up 20:33 the phone, nipping down to the roughest pub in my city, which I was a regular. It's quite 20:41 good fun. I suggest anyone joins goes and becomes a drinker at the roughest pub in their city 20:47 for a while. It's quite funny when you get on with all the scallywags, but and that 20:53 was that. So the next morning I woke up and ordinarily I'd had just rolled over and 20:58 gone tried to sleep off the depression and and awakened only to I used to buy 21:05 pasta and porridge 17p for a 5 kilo bag of porridge and you know 26p for a 3 21:18 kilo gram bag of pasta the cheapest no frills I could get and I'd mix it 21:24 together with as much milk as I could spare chuck on 20 sugars put it in a 21:30 microwave on low and then I would eat it now like a wild animal that is how 21:37 starving for calories my body was all the time and so rather than wake up the 21:44 next day and roll over and go back to sleep I thought well hang on Chris what 21:50 What did you say you were going to do yesterday? 21:53 Get up. 21:54 So I got up, threw open the curtains, I looked out, I said good morning son, thank you so 22:03 much for this opportunity called life, I'm truly grateful. 22:09 And I kid you not Mel, and this is the funny thing about me, I came to enlightenment before 22:16 I was awake. 22:17 so I was enlightened in the matrix if that doesn't sound crazy because I turned 22:24 around and I looked down at this sofa bed and thought no I'm not doing it I'm 22:30 gonna go and make a cup of tea just a cup of tea nothing stronger and more 22:39 over I'm gonna enjoy doing it because this is my journey and I'm getting my 22:44 life back. And as I walk to the kitchen, which is not very far in a starter home, I just had 22:56 this feeling that I've never ever had never ever had in my life. And I can't describe 23:05 it because it's indescribable, but if I had to, in scripture they'd call it your body 23:14 fills with light, or you've had this epiphany and you see an arc angel, arc being an arc 23:22 of light from your left brain to your right hemisphere operation, well that's what I had 23:32 and it just felt that suddenly everything was perfect as it was, as was I, I had nothing 23:44 to prove to no one anymore I just had to live my life and it was almost as though 23:53 there was something just there some force that I couldn't describe to you 24:02 because obviously it wasn't there it just I just could sense this energy 24:11 subtle but it was just there saying everything's all right Chris and I swear 24:16 to God I knew for the rest of my life everything would be perfect and 86 87 24:28 seven countries, seven continents, six books, popular podcast, beautiful family, you know, 24:43 every adventure sport from becoming a pilot, a skydiver, an advanced scuba diver, to running 24:50 the length of the United Kingdom when everyone said you're crazy, you can't do that, I said 24:54 watch me and moreover I'm not even going to do any training I'm just going to do it. I 24:59 ran from John O'Groats to Land's End carrying a 15 kilogram backpack with all my camping 25:05 gear to raise awareness of the veteran suicide problem that we have. I then did a quadruple 25:12 Ironman so four Ironmen back to back or simultaneously. Distance triathlon with eight weeks training. 25:23 I've run across the Sahara Desert in the infamous Marathon Disablers. 25:30 I rode, this time last year, I rode across the Atlantic Ocean in a 21-foot rowing boat 25:38 with an absolute legend mate of mine called Louis, he's a veteran as well. 25:45 and as you very kindly mentioned when we were talking earlier I'm going to climb 25:52 Mount Everest starting in April and that's too for the most part to shine a 26:00 light for those people out there who's struggling like I did and equally if not 26:10 more importantly is to start getting people to make the link between childhood trauma and adult 26:19 mental health because in the military community we're losing so many people predominantly it 26:26 affects the guys to suicide and no one's none of the charities none of the military itself 26:33 no one in the veterans community I've literally met one person talking about 26:39 this no one is saying you know what quite a lot of us had quite rocky 26:44 childhoods didn't we and you know if you don't heal that pain it just comes 26:51 back to haunt you especially when you lose your big head that you have in the 26:55 military and you get a civilian sized head and you realize you're not 27:00 actually as important as you like your ego wanted to think you were and that 27:06 fact most people don't even know the difference between the Marines and the 27:09 army that's when the you know the overbearing father figure starts 27:16 talking in your ear I told you you were no good told you you weren't amount to 27:20 anything you know yada yada yada and and this this creates such a lack of 27:28 self-worth, self-actualization that people think that they're better off taking 27:35 himself out the gate game and the iron email is oh I can tell you the story my 27:43 buddy Craig was supposed to be in the boat next to us when we rode across the 27:47 Atlantic this time last year. Our boat was called Isabel and a sister boat was 27:55 called Danielle and Craig was supposed to be in that with a few more serving or 28:02 ex-marines that I know anyway they they didn't set sail for fundraising reasons 28:09 the next thing I knew I got a lovely message when we rode into Barbados 28:14 obviously across the Atlantic he sent me a message he texts me I've got it on 28:21 phone still he said you absolute legend Chris and I just text back no mate you're 28:26 the legend you know kiss kiss and the next thing you know I'm reading a post on 28:34 Facebook from him and it said hi folks by the time you read this I'll no longer 28:40 be with you it's been a blast thank you but I can't stand the way that this 28:48 and he listed like two or three people the the the way that these people have 28:52 treated me I don't know if that was a COVID thing because that you know upset a 28:57 lot of people didn't it and that was it and they found him dead I think it was in 29:01 Spain so after that everybody jumped on that Facebook post people that had 29:10 never met him saying mate do not do it you just this is just an illusion 29:15 that your experience, this isn't real life, you're massively, massively loved. 29:21 You know, when you go from this planet, so many people, even people you never even think remembered you or would give you as, 29:30 no, they're all like, bloody hell, did you hear what I'm to sound so? Ah, he was so lovely. 29:36 You know, I used to remember him doing this when I was at school and da-da-da-da-da-da. 29:41 And that's how it is. And yeah, there are 29:45 unenlightened people on the planet that 29:47 that they project their pain and their trauma onto other people. You see it in 29:53 you, you're a YouTuber 29:54 now you know what it's like in a comment section. It's really damaged people 29:58 you know and they spread the dark energy but 30:05 they are the exception to the rule. And the rule is most people are bloody 30:10 lovely albeit you know we have bad days so that was that and just to come back to the 30:17 awake and enlightened thing and in case anyone's wondering what is enlightenment how it's simply 30:26 that presence so I left the past behind because it doesn't exist in the same as the 30:35 future doesn't either we have this pinprick in time in which all of our 30:42 life unfolds it's coming out that way like something coming out of a 30:46 pandora's box not going along linearly if that's even a word so by leaving a 30:56 pass behind I was just embracing presence which is all we have and that 31:03 cuts off the depression of the past and the anxiety of the future it's a it's a 31:10 good deal secondly I was what was I doing I was being grateful if you're grateful 31:21 for every single thing that happens to you including the bat then you can never 31:26 not be in paradise it's just that simple you know if you if you embrace 31:31 everything and say come on well here I am what's next you know that's another 31:38 good place to be and when you take action what you're doing is you're raising 31:44 your frequency and your vibration you're raising your energy and as such life 31:49 then meets you there and it gives you a step up again then it comes and meet 31:55 meets you there. So it's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, is to turn 32:01 every negative into a positive. And then there's a few lifestyle choices or 32:10 lifestyle things. It's really important to understand your body's pH level 32:16 because we are living crystals. We're a tourist field within a 32:22 wider tourist field and if you want to tune into it you've got to have your 32:27 antennae working and if you're eating a toxic acidic diet that turns your 32:34 tissues acidic you're like a battery it's just it's got to be a certain way 32:40 you can't you know it can fluctuate a bit and and in addition it helps to 32:50 realize oneness. Oneness is that you're me, Mel, and I'm you. We're just the all, 32:58 the everything, experiencing life subjectively through these, what they've 33:05 referred to as meatsuits. This is why I wish you the best ever, you know, rather 33:12 than traditional life where you're taught to pull people down if they get 33:16 ahead of you and to laud it over them and to get a faster car and a bigger hat and whoa you know you're 33:23 me and I'm you you're the this is why blasphemy is a crime is it's not because you know staying up 33:31 freaking at God is it's like a bad immoral thing it's that you're externalizing the divine which 33:38 is within you you're making it out that life does to you and that there's this entity 33:44 rather than embracing the fact that we are all part of the one energy system. 33:51 And just to quickly finish off, the whole, like New York and Washington, you know, 33:59 those buildings that mysteriously did weird things, that came around whilst I 34:05 was in uni and after obviously my the most serious part of my drug issues so I 34:15 was living in the light certainly you know feeling empathy for my fellow 34:22 humans and not feeling sorry for myself ever and a lecturer at uni said have 34:31 you seen this video from the Pentagon you should go home and watch it it was 34:35 in the early days of the internet mail where you had to have that noisy dial-up modem, and 34:42 as it screeched up and I got on what was the early days of the search engine, I typed 34:49 in, you know, he told me to type in Pentagon missile. So I did that. And I had no idea. 34:58 I was enlightened, but I was still, you know, kind of in the matrix from that perspective. 35:05 if I was as shocked as everybody else when that event happened. And the next thing you know, 35:10 I see these guys and they're carrying this engine, this rocket engine out of that building and a 35:17 load of other sort of peripheral stuff like that just completely didn't make sense. And then 35:25 I got on to that weird thing with the building with the number 35:30 that everyone caught and myself and my brother we just kept every time we met 35:36 we put our heads together and said you know all the rest we could kind of find 35:41 a reason for it but that that's just a smoking gun that you cannot stop smoke 35:47 you can't there's no way you'd have to be really deluded to look at that and not 35:57 see that you know how that was orchestrated and that was and so that 36:06 then put me on the journey that's brought brought us to be to be speaking 36:12 today okay well yeah it's the same for a lot of people and when I saw that I 36:18 was at work and I didn't even know what the bloody World Trade Center was 36:22 that's how I was and and yeah I didn't know I didn't know for quite a long 36:29 time that that was what it what we know it to be now and but it certainly 36:35 started a lot of people's journeys didn't it and what I wanted to ask you 36:39 talked about obviously you were at the lowest of the low in terms of injecting 36:44 yourself and depressed and all of that and you've got up decided 10 pound 36:50 that was it that was going to be the end of it and you were going to change was there something 36:56 that that basically brought that to life was there something because when I've talked to other 37:03 people there's normally some kind of pivotal moment of conversation meeting somebody or 37:07 something that makes you suddenly go do you know what enough see not and I know it's 37:12 got to be rock bottom to come back up I know that but you sort of made it sound like 37:17 you just decided and and then that was it well I think we should never underestimate 37:25 the power of a decision yeah that's I mean you know when I decided about 37:36 Summiting Mount Everest I did that years ago I'd already made a decision when I 37:43 get the opportunity. I'm going. I'm never saying no. I very rarely say no to anything. I'm so 37:53 far away from one of these individuals that's like, no, I can't do that. I'm like, he can 37:58 do it. I can do it. So that's that. But no, to answer your question, and I didn't just 38:07 say a £10 bag and that's it what I said is a £10 every fortnight. I've you know 38:13 it's relatively recent years I've started actually getting my act together 38:18 Mel because I'm a father now obviously you know I think people would be 38:24 surprised we watch these Hollywood sort of brainwashing films that say once 38:29 you you know once you've experienced addiction you can't do it and it's like 38:34 I've just ignored all that sort of thing you know you say love partying still do 38:42 love dancing probably go out now and to the right but sorry I'm getting off the 38:49 point but no to answer your question what is the highest frequency we know the 38:57 answer to that don't we it's love love close or closely followed or some 39:04 people say superseded by authenticity, you know, and you naturally that's what you become. 39:17 I usually start my live streams just by saying to everyone out there, there are days when 39:23 you wake up when life isn't the way that you want it to be. That's, it's at times 39:32 like that that you've got to believe in yourself, believe in universe and keep 39:38 creating your special dream because you're born a legend I know you're a legend 39:47 you just got to make sure you know you'll die a legend you've got to make 39:52 sure you you do that in the middle because no one else is going to say I 39:57 love you, I genuinely do. People don't tend to do that now because of the 40:03 societal indoctrination that we're put under from school. You're taught all 40:09 this maths and equations and all this stuff you never ever use. You've never 40:13 taught to go up to your fellow human being when they're suffering. Put your 40:17 arm around them and say it's okay. I love you just the way you are. Don't 40:27 And so in that moment, I was thinking of that little boy, my former self, and all the stuff 40:37 that had gone on in my life. 40:39 You know, my dad driving us 300 miles in his little minivan, which was his carpet salesman. 40:50 So he had a company car, it was a minivan, and it had a little flap in the roof that 40:54 that you could, you know, put your hand up. 40:57 My dad used to like wave, wave goodbye to us 41:01 in the morning out that flat. 41:03 Anyway, I remember him dropping us 300 miles up north. 41:09 My sister's playing her cassette player 41:11 and it was Abba saying, 41:14 breaking up is never easy, I know but I had. 41:19 And my dad and I, even I was perceptive enough 41:23 male to look in a mirror and see my dad you know fighting back tears because 41:28 him and my mum had split up and this time it was going to be divorce and you know 41:35 he dropped me on a pavement 300 miles away he did something he'd never done 41:40 in my whole life which was he gave me a hug and he said about this time my 41:46 sister had run run in to see our grandma because mum had gone to our 41:50 grandmas house and and I'm like I can't just run in and see my grandma this is 41:57 the last time I'm ever gonna see my father again and no matter what shenanigans 42:02 have gone on over the year you know boy loves his father is a seminal figure in 42:07 your life and and I love my dad you know and and he just got out he said I love 42:12 you son but I'm not allowed to be with you and and meaning that you know my 42:19 my mum had taken us away again, which wasn't her fault, I'm not suggesting, and they jumped 42:26 back in that minivan and I just was looking in the wing mirror and I could see him just 42:31 crying his eyes out and he was just, he waved to me all the way down the road and no kid 42:40 should have to go through that. It's like the stuff of Hollywood bloody films, you 42:46 know, and don't get me started. I'll tell you about the day my tortoise died. That 42:50 if people aren't traumatized already, that's really going to set you off. I'll 42:55 tell you. And that kitty shouldn't have had to go through a lot of this stuff. 42:59 And you know, as an adult, I can say it's all for a reason, obviously. But back 43:06 then, trying to battle chronic drug addiction, I just thought of that 43:11 little boy and just he was harmless he wasn't a nasty little boy or anything he 43:17 didn't you know he was just a little boy and in that moment you know I'm loving 43:26 him because he's me and I guess that's the foundation stone of change is is 43:33 is love I couldn't keep doing to him what what I've been doing to him it 43:39 it was it was a an epiphanal moment a moment of realising that look this behaviour has not 43:49 got me anywhere is it you know it's it's not it's not working when I first started going out we were 43:55 dancing the house music and going up to the illegal raves and stuff or raves shouldn't call 44:02 them illegal you know it was just amazing this learning so much about me in Hong Kong 44:07 First, I started trying crystal meth. I learnt that I could write. I mean, I'm a best-selling 44:15 author now. School didn't tell me that. They just told me I was a failure. I failed all 44:20 my exams except control tech and design tech. Everything now, I think it's good about 12 44:27 exams. I failed all the rest. They didn't tell me that no, actually, you got the potential 44:33 to be an international best-selling author. I say international, it's Hong Kong and the UK, but 44:39 you've got to write your own resume on these things, haven't you? And they didn't tell me that I 44:46 could draw and that I could paint, and it is actually quite fairly easy once you understand 44:51 the basics. And they didn't tell me that I was like, you know, the world's greatest dancer, 44:58 either, but you know, this amazing, so all of it was good, this experience was good in 45:08 the early days. And what would happen is, you know, I'd kick the ass out of it, and I tried 45:17 to keep that good feeling going way past the point of it benefiting me anyway, to the 45:23 point where I was just trying to maintain this absolutely chaotic mentally 45:28 unwell state because I thought you know just get high get high again stay high 45:36 stated not and when you're at that stage actually becoming straight again sober 45:48 is, that's got his benefits, you know? I mean, within a month or so I'd bought food. I could 45:56 go in the supermarket and I wasn't rich, you know, I wasn't going to be buying a joint 46:00 or anything. But I could buy, you know, soup. I had, you know, I could buy myself 46:08 soups I could buy myself a loaf of bread or you know I used to just buy the 6p 46:17 supermarket own white slice stuff and I used to put the cheap margarine it was 46:24 16p a tub for a big like two liter tub of margarine or something and the 46:31 bovril that I put on it I shoplifted the bovril because I didn't have I 46:35 I had £1, but £1.87 was my weekly shop. That's about to give people an idea, you know. 46:44 So, there you go. And what happens is, when you start putting a distance between you and addiction, 46:51 or your addictive behaviour, you get gains because you're raising your energy again, aren't you? 47:00 and suddenly people that had left your life start to come back and they are 47:05 happy to see you and they treat you to a meal or whatever it might be they like 47:11 push you into go on go on you can get a job get off that bloody benefit you know 47:16 okay do you think you know you really are the very fragile male fragile when 47:26 When my mate came over once, I just said to him, he's one of my oldest friends and he'd 47:31 been living abroad, being a ski instructor and he was home for a bit and he'd heard about 47:37 me. 47:38 So the first thing he did was come and see me, which no one else did, not that I'd sort 47:43 of blame him. 47:46 And I can remember him watching him trying to fight back tears because he couldn't 47:51 believe what he's found you know he couldn't believe it and I just said 47:57 Rob can you do me a favor he's like yeah mate anything what just I said can I 48:03 come and stay with you for a bit I just think I need to get out of here and he 48:07 said oh mate I've just like I was praying you'd ask me that but I didn't 48:11 want to like push you and all that you know he's like right come on let's go 48:16 and well I got out of his car about six or seven times to check the front door 48:25 that's how like damaged my my mind was I couldn't remember if I locked the door 48:32 and ever so patiently each time he said it's alright mate go and check went and 48:37 check come back sat down he had a volts he had a cream Volkswagen convertible 48:43 beetle. I got back in it, mate, I've got to go and check it out. I couldn't remember by 48:51 the time I got back in the car. And it took me, you know, and there's no one you can 48:58 talk to about this stuff. You know, I never had counseling or anything like it was someone 49:03 I could offload to. And I carried this with me for years after, you know, being 49:08 back up and running again and it was I was I was sat in a car waiting to go 49:15 surfing with a lovely friend of mine called George we were at college together 49:22 and we had the boards on you know in the back of his van and we were sat we 49:26 checked the check the waves and we were good to go when we went back to get 49:31 changed I just said look we just have a cup of coffee before we go it's like 49:36 Yeah, so sat there and we've got the flask out and now he said so Chris what what happened in Hong Kong then? 49:46 Wow 49:47 He's a fur none of my family had asked me no no one none of my friend no no no one had ever asked me 49:56 What actually happened? I mean you came back chronically mentally unwell and 50:02 Anyway, that was a conversation Mel 50:06 we were I think I talked non-stop for four hours and it just was just coming out 50:12 of me and I was then then then this happened and then this this really weird 50:16 thing happened and then you know the triads did this and I thought I was 50:20 gonna die and da da da da da so going back to your original question I I think 50:27 love that's the most powerful emotion is it not? Well we are love aren't we? While listening to you 50:39 I'm thinking about certain people I know you know that have got addictions and certain people that 50:46 tend to display more let's say narcissistic traits and taking responsibility and for their actions 50:55 and it's like you, I think you said earlier, 50:58 not blaming everybody for your own shit. 51:00 Well, if you're high on the narcissistic traits, 51:03 you tend to blame everybody for the way you are, 51:07 whether it be a traumatic childhood 51:09 or whether it be something else. 51:13 And it's really challenging dealing with those sorts 51:17 of people, especially if they've got an addiction 51:19 running like alcohol as well. 51:21 I just wondered, because I know you are a coach and you deal, do you deal mainly with veterans that have got PTSD or is it a range of people that you deal with? 51:35 It's a range of people, tends to be men, ranging from young men to people my age, not so young. 51:51 And you know, there's a variety of response there. 51:57 Some people there, you know, they're just dipping their toe in the water and the thing 52:04 about all of this is the the key to enlightenment is so simple I've just I 52:10 told you you know it's just once you realize that all the everything that 52:15 that's the definition of of of the light and you just do those simple things 52:25 else, your life will change irrevocably. It just does because it's the nature of how it 52:38 all works. If you act, if you take action, the universe just gives you back. Very simple 52:48 is when you go out the front door in the morning if you go out you know my car's 52:57 rubbish I've got to do a job that I hate bloody I don't what I'm having for tea 53:03 tonight this life sucks my boss hates it you just think what what energy do 53:12 you think you're putting out in the world if you go out the front door 53:15 head held high, smiling. 53:18 Morning, how are you doing? 53:20 You know, to everyone you meet, 53:21 not just the people that you know. 53:24 You notice that's been deadened in people now. 53:26 That's just been drummed out of them, 53:28 especially with all the medical nonsense. 53:31 I really feel for young people now that, 53:34 you know, they just haven't had any role models 53:37 that tell them how to hold their head up high 53:39 and, you know, shake hands and say, 53:41 how are you? 53:41 and it's you know this is all sort of cabal conditioning but you go out the door in the 53:49 morning with that frame of mind you know that might be an old banger car but I'm really glad 53:54 I'm really lucky to have it same with my job the boss yeah he can be challenging at times but 54:01 let's be honest that's his childhood talk trauma speaking isn't it and I'm I'm glad to be that 54:06 I've healed mine I hope one day you know the same for him well and then instead of 54:13 coming back and you know hitting the bottle or getting your bottle of wine 54:16 and watching Netflix you say no it's time to go for a run then you go for a 54:21 jog around the block then instead of getting a takeaway whatever you prepare 54:26 yourself an alkaline meal then you cannot help to wake up the next day 54:34 feeling better about your life as an energy you put off has made everybody 54:40 else feel better about their sort of situation sorry man I can't remember what 54:48 your yeah I was but I think where I was going with it was you you had your 54:56 enlightenment and it and it came as a result of many life experiences and 55:02 different choices and like you said all of those choices put you on this you 55:09 know twisty-turny journey and you quite rightly said you know I don't see I 55:16 screwed it up because I have the most amazing family and I'm in paradise 55:20 absolutely you know life happens for us not to us and it's how you respond 55:29 to what happens to you that matters, that changes your life, for the better. I think what I was 55:37 asking was, you know, like my own son has mental health, anxiety, panic attacks, it's been going on 55:46 two and a half years, probably longer than that, but in the extreme forms two and a half years, 55:52 hasn't drank for three years, you know, doing all the right things, trying to do organic, 55:56 all that, but it's challenging and he probably, even though I know he's spiritual, he's more 56:07 aligned to it now, he's more accepting of it now. I used to think I was a weirdo with 56:11 my crystals and all of that sort of stuff. He's more accepting of it now, but not so 56:17 much thinking about my son, thinking about some other people that have got addictions 56:22 and a blaming everything else for their shit life and I didn't ask to be born 56:28 and all that sort of stuff and I just wondered you know if you had somebody 56:32 like that in front of you and maybe you don't get somebody like that in front of 56:34 you because those those people tend not to go for counselling or go for 56:39 coaching or the rest of it but I just wondered what what enlightenment you 56:43 could put on somebody that is like that that sort of blames everything 56:48 and everyone for their shit life yeah well I mean if that was me speaking to 57:03 someone you've got a kind of in that you'd adopt like a interrogating sounds 57:12 too strong a word I can't remember what we used to call it when I was a 57:16 substance misuse specialist working in an agency you have kind of like an 57:21 investigating process investigating approach so someone says now my life 57:26 shit you say what why oh well you know it's yeah I'm in this like dead-end job 57:34 and I hate it but what why are you in it oh well you know just that is a job 57:44 isn't it well and guess what you're trying to get at you you're trying to 57:49 get people in their mind to challenge their own perceptions to go June or 57:53 what Chris? I don't have to be in this job do I? No you don't. I could actually train 57:58 for something better and if I took action, yes you could. If I cut down on the 58:03 booze and the spliff and the this and the that, I'd been a much better frame 58:07 of mind wouldn't I? Yes you would. You're self-medicating trauma. Not a 58:13 lecture. I was off my head for 35 years and just the way it is you know 58:20 but everything sort of comes comes to an end eventually so I'd say that but I can tell you 58:31 from my own experience it's a never-ending process it's a work what I told you was 1997 58:44 We're now 26, 29 years later and I still work at this every day mail and I have to because 58:57 I'm around some pretty damaged individuals, you know, because I'm a content creator, 59:06 social media type you know person and you have to have your your if you want to 59:15 call it your spiritual armor up all the time and when you drop it that's when 59:25 whatever people's chosen metaphor is devil Lucifer Satan dark energy cabal 59:33 you know that's when they that's when you get exploited and you can find yourself 59:40 going out the front door in the morning and you're just full of negative and 59:43 you're just thinking dark thoughts and you're just da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da and 59:47 whoa you you've got to be aware of that you know you've got to have the 59:55 the knowledge to know what's happening because I mean people call them 60:00 don't they? This non-human life force that will drag you down because they 60:07 don't get to experience the human experience they can only experience it 60:11 by sort of dragging yours down and this is why when you got a hangover what 60:20 do you do? What do you eat? What do people eat when they got a hangover? 60:24 Stodge. 60:27 Absolute crap. Not a lecture, you know, when I used to drink, did it myself, absolutely. 60:35 But you eat that, then how do you feel the next day, especially if you're someone who's, you know, likes to keep trim, exercise, you know, how do we feel the next day? 60:46 feel negative don't you you feel a bit depressed that oh god so I went out for a 60:53 drink Friday after work Saturday I was just absolutely written off I didn't go 61:00 out for me run or go to the gym or go for a walk with a doll I just sat 61:05 watching absolute chuff on the telly cramming pizza and chocolate in my 61:10 to the point where even that just felt sickly and then Sunday I was still 61:18 feeling rough and I had these plans to go and clean out the garage and then get up 61:23 in the loft and sort you know all my old photographs and da-da-da-da and and I 61:28 ended up did I didn't do it I just sat on the you know and this is the this 61:36 is to our cons isn't it this is the negative energy spiral it's it's got you 61:40 and if you let that go then on the Monday you can be just like I just don't 61:47 want to go to work I'm gonna go to work I'm gonna sit there I'm just gonna do 61:53 as little as possible hide behind my computer screen I'm gonna be surfing 61:58 on Facebook and the internet hope the boss you know doesn't come over here 62:03 and then as soon as it's finished I'm gonna get down that booze on in Tesco 62:07 and I'm just gonna drown with bloody you know a bit late hair of the dog and 62:13 then the next night you're like oh god so because I drank yesterday night I've 62:17 now just got that craving I want to drink you drink again and then then you 62:22 then you're like you know what what's the point I'm not I'm not gonna do a 62:26 nice healthy you know salad with low carbs no I'm just gonna smash out you know 62:34 I'm gonna get gonna get delivery to go to McDonald's for whatever and like I say 62:42 Mel this is not a lecture I say to people when you're feeling rough to treat 62:45 just do what you need to do until you can get back on the horse but I'm just 62:50 trying to give the example of the downward energy spiral that comes 62:54 from our behaviors and our actions. And most of all, our thinking is that in no time at 63:05 all, you can become that person that's clinically depressed or feeling suicidal or feeling that, 63:11 you know, it's hard to feel good about yourself with a hangover, isn't it? Bloody hell. You 63:17 feel like you're the devil incarnate that everyone hates you and that you've 63:20 you know I mean it's just oh you certainly get a heightened state of 63:26 anxiety that makes everything on the horizon just seem not not not so good 63:32 and you know it doesn't have to be substance use it can just be your 63:37 everyday bit behaviors you know if every day you go out that house and you're 63:43 that person that puts your head down because you're too shy to say hello to 63:47 well what happens over a lifetime is you're just putting up the bars of your 63:52 own cage when life presents you with an opportunity you're too you know you're 63:58 too indoctrinated to always take the easiest you know path of lease 64:03 resistance and you see this a lot in adventuring and so many people say 64:09 are Christian climbing Everest oh can I come with you and I'm like yeah you can 64:16 but are you really and and yeah am I making a bit of sense now yeah you are 64:26 you are and what I was going to ask as well excuse me so from you coming 64:34 back from Hong Kong you're in an absolute mess you may then offered or 64:39 you asked if you could stay with your mate and obviously you started to get better from that point. 64:44 Excuse me. When did you start the, you know, what you do now, the writing, the podcast and all of, 64:53 how did all that come about? So I, within two or three months of me changing, you know, 65:03 changing my way sort of thing or cutting down on the on the on the stuff. 65:09 I met a friend of my brother who was a he ran a smuggling gang 65:17 and we used to smuggle people from Chuck now we didn't. 65:22 Now it was it was pretty benign we used to smuggle tobacco back from Belgium 65:28 and when I say smuggle you know you can legally bring tobacco back from abroad 65:32 but not in the quantities that we were bringing it back in talking thousands 65:37 upon thousands of packets at a time and as me being a part of that gang I get paid 65:46 it wasn't an awful I can never remember whether it's 30 pound a trip or 60 that 65:52 was to get in a car drive up to channel tunnel go through the tunnel hit France 66:00 drive in a Belgium, fill up at the tobacco warehouse, fill up empty everything from 66:07 the boxes, fill it into black plastic bags, drive back, back on the 66:14 channel tunnel, on the train, back to Dover, hit a B&B where we never got the 66:19 chance to sleep, it was just to leave the tobacco and then we get in the 66:25 car and go back and do it all again then we go back collect all the gear chuck it 66:31 in a car drive back down to the south west at which point my mate would go on 66:38 his delivery round delivering you know to all his all his distributors it was 66:45 interesting it was quite it was it was all going quite well until we got 66:48 busted and fortunately we'd taken a rubbish car that time because we had been 66:54 taking my mate's top of the range what did he have was it top of the range 67:01 Mercedes I think he had Mercedes convertible at one point we did a run 67:06 in that and luckily we had a this knackered old escort because what they 67:11 do is they say right fellas look you can claim all that's for personal use 67:16 that's 6,000 packets you've got no judge is gonna believe you and and then 67:22 you'll you know have to pay the penalty or whatever or you can just leave the car 67:29 leave the tobacco and go but literally on that occasion we just looked at each 67:35 other started walking for the nearest bus stop and from Dover we had to make our 67:41 way into Victoria in London to get the bus to come come down south so so anyway 67:50 Anyway, I did that. I saved the money, I did a charity fire walk, so I set the first ever 68:02 world record, or there wasn't a world record, so by me doing this was kind of, you know, 68:19 120 feet and the money all this money in the tobacco money I used to study at a 68:27 school in Norway what they call a folk high school whereas part of this big 68:33 international school we we spent six months learning all the stuff we'd need 68:39 to know to go and be a volunteer development instructor in Africa and I 68:46 hit that school I was actually doing gear in the airport before I flew that's how 68:54 I I told you didn't I never stopped it I just I cut it down and when I hit the 69:01 ground running in Norway we lived on top of this mountain in this old ski lodge 69:06 I thought right let's just go full bore here you know I'm gonna make sure I 69:11 wake up the earliest every morning and I get into the breakfast I help them 69:16 ladder tables and I'm always the first person so that was that's quite a thing 69:21 to do when you're coming they're coming down our base amphetamine but I kept that 69:26 up I taught people skiing cross-country skiing I taught them how to build 69:30 snow caves I set up assault courses like we would have had in the Marines and 69:35 this kind of thing and and dare I say I was a incredibly popular member of 69:41 that school and and they had no idea what what I'd come from they had no idea we 69:49 had to lead fundraising teams around Scandinavia to raise money for the 69:53 projects we were going to. I was going to a street children's school in 69:57 post-war Mozambique so we'd sell these postcard pack of postcards there's five 70:04 postcards with little African kids you know getting water from the well or 70:08 or whatever, the well that our organization had built for them. 70:13 And we'd sell them to these super rich Scandinavians 70:17 for basically 50 crowns of pops, a five quid a pack. 70:20 And this is 20 years ago now, 70:22 so probably about a 10 or a 15 quid's worth now. 70:27 Anyway, long story short, 70:29 there was this long standing fundraising record. 70:33 It had been set by a guy called JR 70:35 who is now a teacher at this organization and he'd gone out one day and he'd sold 70:44 3,000 Kroners worth of postcards which is about 300 pounds of quite a 70:53 significant 300 pounds when you're selling for five pound of packs quite a 70:58 lot plus you you know people get your donations and I just got that way of 71:03 mind that I just even though I hated it the first time I walked up to a complete 71:07 stranger and they walked straight past me my heart I hung in there now right and I 71:14 worked out this system it doesn't matter what you say when you approach someone 71:18 they're gonna say one of like four things to you they're gonna say I'm in a 71:23 hurry big big one and this was they did have mobile phones in Scandinavia 71:30 be of them and not as much as they do now or they just get the phone out and 71:33 pretend that they're on the phone but they'd say I'm in a hurry or they'd say 71:38 I don't have any money on me or they'd say I'm giving to another charity it 71:44 always would come down to those three things and then I worked out that if I 71:48 said I'm awfully sorry so if I can if you're in a hurry let me just 71:53 explain really quick I'm Chris my volunteer worker going to work with 71:57 street children in Mozambique, could you just spare one or two crowns to support 72:04 what we're doing? And when they heard that one or two crowns is like 10 or 20 72:09 P and like I say this is 20 years ago that even then it was you know still 72:15 wasn't a lot of money. When they realized that you weren't going to try and 72:17 hit them up for this big 50 crowns postcard package then they'd be like 72:23 Oh, just one or two, oh, okay, no, not a problem. 72:28 They'd reach in and they'd open their wallet 72:30 and of course, because you'd made that human connection, 72:34 they'd be like, oh, you know, you're a nice guy 72:37 and they'd just get all their change and give it to me. 72:40 Quite often, way more than the money 72:42 that the postcards would have sent. 72:44 So I did that and I was like a whirl in dervish. 72:47 I'd hit up one person, spin around 72:50 and then hit this person up, you know, 72:52 And I used to teach my fellow participants at this organization, I teach them fundraising. 73:00 And I'd say, listen, you're the oyster fisherman. You're going through 100 oysters to get the one pearl. 73:07 That's it. If you understand, that's it. You'll make your money in pearls. 73:11 If you understand that when you're on the street, for every four people you speak to, 73:16 three are going to keep on walking but that one person is a hit then just do 73:21 four do four do four and then so I got really really good at this and I led a 73:29 team to Finland to struck up a relationship with a mayor of a town 73:35 called Porry and he was so taken with my story and the fact that he was in the 73:42 closet at the time and he had never told anybody that, you know, I'm a gay man and he came out 73:51 to me one day expecting this big, you know, oh my, and I was like, right? And he's like, 74:00 oh, what? You're not upset? And I was like, no, of course not. I'm like the last person 74:06 that can be judging anyone else with my, my history. And he said, Chris, you know, 74:11 just feel like I've known you my whole life and I've never met anyone like you 74:16 and when I was in Africa where I'm in a street kids he put me forward for the 74:20 second level commendation of Finland on the grounds of human generosity so this 74:29 is what I say to people you know never never underestimate yourself always take 74:35 action leave the past but just just do it because you'll be so surprised at 74:41 what you're capable of and what the universe brings you. 74:44 So that was that. 74:46 So I worked in Mozambique. 74:49 It was an incredibly, incredible experience. 74:54 When we first got to our village, 74:56 we were on this rickety old chicken bus. 74:59 You'd gone from the city where things were decayed 75:03 and bombed and bullet holes everywhere, 75:06 but at least it was a city. 75:07 and people are wearing you know cut-off jeans and a t-shirt or whatever you get 75:15 out into the rural and suddenly it's like being in a Tarzan film it's mud huts 75:24 and people walking between the huts with you know the women with water pots on 75:29 their head and it was just I mean I saw saw quite a bit while I was in the 75:36 marines a travel affair a bit actually had dinner on top of the world trade 75:41 center a couple of times with my buddy and we hired a limousine because we'd 75:47 met these girls from Texas so we wanted to you know impress them so it seemed 75:53 quite a bit but this was like like nothing you'd ever imagined and right 75:58 from day one I thought you know what I just want to be with these kids do 76:03 what they do and this organization already I was starting you know whenever 76:08 you get to the bottom of a charity organize it in my experience it's never 76:12 really good you're gonna be disappointed you know you're gonna eat their money 76:16 making operations for a reason and money corrupts money creates power power 76:23 corrupts absolutely Lord Acton and that was what it was I thought do you know 76:29 what I can't let that destroy all my hard work getting here all that 76:32 fundraising all those tobacco runs I'm just gonna like do what I can for these 76:37 kids take them fishing down on the reef we were right next to the right next to 76:45 the ocean was it the Indian Ocean off Mozambique and at night I'd wander up 76:51 to the mud huts to their village I'd leave the the bungalow which was in a 76:56 little sort of compound where we live and no no aircon no nothing like that 77:01 just mosquito nets and a lot of sweat and I'd wander up to the villages and I'd 77:07 drink this rum I managed to find this source of rum for like 50 beer bottle 77:11 and I'd mix it with long-life milk coffee and sugars because you don't really 77:19 get mixes or anything in in in Africa and I'd go up and you know we dance 77:25 around the fire to the drums and this kind of stuff and and always took time 77:32 always took time for people not I wasn't like trying that was just it was fun to 77:38 make friends with everybody and on the last week I came across our cleaning 77:45 lady she was called Ancia she was absolutely lovely very pretty I think 77:51 about four four children and probably with four different people that's the kind 77:56 of that was the sort of Mozambique tribal way and I came around the corner of 78:01 the building and and she was just sort of like huddled down there crying and I 78:07 was like and she I'm speaking in Portuguese obviously you know what what's 78:15 wrong she just looked to me ma'am she said it's you it's when your heart drops 78:22 isn't it? oh god what have I done now she said you're going home next week you're 78:29 a really good person whoa that's not how you feel when you're chronically 78:39 addicted to crystal meth I can tell you're certainly not not when you're 78:43 off the drug it's when you're doing a depression bit and you know this is just 78:52 that funny thing called life that you know it's just be yourself to be true 78:58 whatever you do but it'd be true to yourself and leave the narrative behind 79:04 leave the narratives behind because there's always someone behind it 79:08 and so that was that whilst I was there in Africa the organization said 79:13 could I drive a bus to India and back? A volunteer worker's writing articles about people living in 79:21 poverty. I don't know why I do that because everyone knows what writing is, don't they? 79:25 The early days of the internet. So I drove a 12 tonne, I think it was, British Leyland Coach 79:33 from Norway to Delhi, all through the deserts of Iran, Pakistan 79:42 and back again and that was just what an amazing amazing journey just it was 79:53 like being paid to do some we're not we didn't get paid but we got you know we 79:58 got subsistence to live on it was like someone's paying you to do this and 80:04 and then I got back from there I'd met a wonderful Swedish girl we traveled the 80:14 world together and we we I worked in a fish factory in the north of Norway on 80:20 a small island up near the Arctic Circle chopping salmon and I used the 80:28 money just to travel I traveled everywhere and then and then I started to 80:36 study and as I studied I just wrote on the map everywhere that I wanted to go so 80:41 I backpacked through every single country in North Central and South 80:44 America. I did a book signing on the Great Wall of China just because I 80:51 had some books with me and the tourists in my in my coach party were 80:57 all were all sort of up for it you know and and and that was that and like I say 81:03 86 countries and seven continents later I've explored Antarctica or the Antarctic 81:13 Polar Circle I take teams of lads up to the Arctic Circle to give them a kind of 81:19 bit of a military sort of experience for all those people that think they're 81:23 myth in something you're not but you try telling blokes that when they think they 81:29 should have joined up so yeah got got a couple of places left if you want to come 81:35 to the Arctic with us folks do some skiing and survival hit me up with an 81:39 email through my website and that's that I got a degree in youth work and 81:46 I was passionate about young people and the rest is history. 81:56 And the podcast started when? 82:00 So the podcast started back in the day when the Joe Rogan show was absolutely fascinating 82:08 because it was just sort of quote unquote conspiracy talk. 82:13 plus some amazing adventurers and a sprinkling of sort of special forces 82:18 military guys all with some adventurous talent and I just I used to think it was 82:23 unreal that you know you can work and listen to stuff like that while you're 82:28 at work it kind of means you're not really working doesn't it you know you 82:31 can listen to it on a long journey in the car you can listen to a podcast and 82:36 it just makes your journey absolutely brilliant and I put it off for a bit I 82:43 think we all procrastinate a bit and then one day I just started talking to that 82:48 it wasn't that camera I've got up there now but it was an old 720 camera not 82:56 quite HD and I just started talking to it one day and putting it on YouTube and 83:01 talking about my adventures in life and you know addiction and getting mugged by 83:08 the Turkish mafia, getting my nose broken by the Thai mafia, working for the 83:17 Hong Kong mafia. I just put these stories up and you know how it is 83:23 they start to trickle over you get the odd subscriber and that sort of 83:28 then one day I did a video about what's it like to join the Marines and I woke 83:34 up the next day and blimmy now rather than my usual 200 or 400 it was like 83:41 3,000 views well that was for someone who was determined to make it at 83:48 something in life I mean in the material realm you know pay the bills 83:54 at least. That looked like a way to go and what happened is I did a load of military stuff but 84:01 always mail with a caveat. You know, this is my life. This is what I did. I came from a damaged 84:08 background. I felt I had to prove myself. You don't. Also, we didn't have the internet when 84:16 I joined up. In our mind, we were the good guys. It was that that symbol. Now I'll tell anyone 84:24 join in the military I wouldn't stop you if that's what you've got to do for your 84:29 you know your journey whatever yeah it's an amazing lifestyle but do yourself a 84:38 favor and don't ever tell yourself you're doing it for freedom and democracy 84:43 because you ain't working for the good guys I'm just being on this is my truth 84:50 male I'd be a liar if I didn't and what happened is I you know I took that 84:57 approach and it always went well I had a lot of special forces guy guys from the 85:01 Iranian embassy see each come and talk to me on the podcast all this kind of 85:08 stuff and and then what happened is when the medical scam hit I was still 85:17 of that thing where I even though I'm sort of on the Enlightenment journey I 85:21 was still dipping into the the matrix like behavior and part of matrix behavior 85:27 is you think other people are gonna come and save you or you you know your 85:31 fingers crossed and and I was looking at our military thinking not only are they 85:37 a million miles from saving anyone you know but not only that they're jabbing 85:46 their people with that stuff and none of them have got the balls to stand up and say this 85:54 is wrong this is clearly a psychological operation and these boys and girls shouldn't have to 86:05 go through they are not guinea pigs and no one had the balls to stand up and do that 86:13 and when I founded something called the Global Veterans Alliance to go to the 86:23 marches in London the protest not that I think you know a big fan of protest or 86:29 marches but I just wanted people to see in the military that it's all right to 86:36 put on your green berry and go and stand up for the in children that that is 86:43 how you be a man not sit on Facebook swapping yarns from 20 years ago and 86:50 polishing your medals you know that's whilst whilst literally peeing in your 86:56 pants because a 16 year old shelf stacker in Tesco asked you why you 87:03 weren't wearing a silly thing on your face and it was such an upsetting 87:12 experience because you remember I wasn't as enlightened as I am now I don't draw 87:16 anything from anyone or anything it it's you know I'm detached from it all this 87:22 is just a mere experiential existence and I I'm getting better at that now you 87:27 know and it's helped a lot it's helped a lot in all in terms of my mental 87:31 health and dealing with the public and awful awful lot but I was back then you 87:36 know, it was, I was just like, I don't want to be seen to be promoting the military in 87:48 any way, because it's a joke. They work for the military industrial complex. That's controlled 87:58 by Cabal, you know, along with Vatican, along with London for the money. Your audience 88:05 know all of this I know and I don't want young people looking at me as a sort 88:12 of international adventurer and elite athlete and thinking Chris did that that 88:18 would be cool well and there was a period where at Limestone command though 88:22 the commander training center I get the lads they'd message me on Instagram 88:28 and say Chris I'm struggling at the moment I say ping is your phone number 88:33 then and I chat and say so come on what's going on well what it is they backtroute me into a you 88:39 know they're going to backtroute I'm in the remedial troop at the moment because I've failed 88:45 something or I had an injury they're going to backtroute me into a new troop to continue and 88:50 you know I'm not feeling it and I'll be like right okay look you're a legend you've got this 88:59 it's easy it's not that it's not you know thousands if not hundreds of thousands 89:06 of Marines have passed out before you this is possible it's whether you decide 89:12 you are gonna do it you get back in that new troop you let them know his boss 89:17 anyone gives you shit you knock them out to let them know you're the boss and 89:22 you forge your way to the end of that training and I want a photo when you 89:27 pass out with that green lid on your head. Everyone to a tee sent me that 89:32 photo mail, right? And I said to one of these lads went, I said, how did you, how 89:37 do you know about me? And he said, well, you're YouTube. He said, to be honest, 89:43 Chris, everybody at Limson knows. So I was just thinking, as well as much as 89:51 nice as that is, it's for the wrong reason, isn't it? Getting lads to go 89:54 sign up for war to go up I mean I was on GB news talking about my Everest and 90:01 they're all trying to big up the the Iran thing and you've got people there in 90:05 the studio got no clue one minute they're like doing their nails next 90:10 minute they're going live to the British public telling them why we need to bomb 90:14 Iran it's literally that that fast you know ridiculous and they said to me 90:31 watch your thoughts on Iran I said well it's George Carlin summed it up best she 90:38 said what do you mean I said well it's a big club and we ain't in it so why are 90:43 we even contemplating support what they're trying to tell us to do and I 90:48 said, if you think sending our teenagers overseas to slaughter their teenagers is somehow going 90:59 to end well, you're deluded. And that kind of, I don't think I'm going to get invited 91:05 back on back on GB News anytime soon. But that's the truth of the matter. And so that was, 91:13 That was my my channel and it was at that point that look I'll talk to forces guys 91:18 I'm not it's fine it it's a bit banal now because you know you talked to me you're 91:26 like right so when did you wake up to you know what happened in New York on 91:31 Washington they're like well I didn't and you know well then is this really 91:38 in a conversation that's gonna like ingratiate people, if that's the right 91:42 word, nurture them, help them up. It's not like I've got criteria that people 91:48 have to be awake or in light or air. It's just that I sit there 91:53 feeling, looking at that person thinking, God that's like me all those years ago 91:58 isn't it? So I'll still chat with anyone but mainly the stuff that hits is me 92:09 taking what's going on in the world and then interpreting it for people to see 92:16 behind the headlines whilst always reiterating that look if you want to 92:21 what's going on. It starts with you. No one's coming to save you. The military 92:29 aren't going to come and overthrow the government. They work for the 92:32 government. The government's controlled by the cabal. The cabal in itself comes 92:38 from the ancient Babylonian mystery schools. So they understand more than 92:43 ever what I've been saying on this podcast. It's energy, vibration and 92:48 frequency and their sole aim in life is to keep you locked in your ego because 92:54 you're controllable you know living in an ego fueled fear bubble so that's 93:02 what kind of works best now even though now the honest truth is I just look 93:09 forward to getting back to being a podcast host and yapping with people 93:13 that you know and it's sad. George King, lovely bloke, he'll climb up the shard building like 93:25 barefoot and then base jump off, you know this kind of stuff. Just absolutely mental. As a skydiver 93:34 and a parachutist myself, if I wasn't a skydiver and a parachutist or at least that's what I've 93:41 done in the past, I still want to talk to that guy because that is just, well, how do 93:47 you do that? Well, how do you pack your parachute? What if this happened? Well, that's just what 93:51 I'm like. I love living vicariously through other people's experiences. It's why, you 93:58 know, why you watch documentaries, isn't it? And yet, I'll put that guy on my podcast. 94:04 you get like 400 views and I've got I've got what was it 95,000 subscribers now 94:11 you get like 400 and what it does it just disappoints me as to yeah it doesn't 94:18 disappoint me the matrix part of me you know remember you're always like it's 94:24 a spiritual battle when the matrix has got older me or the little Lucifer on 94:28 shoulder I could get quite disappointed about that is that come on folks you talk 94:35 about what's the answer in that the answer is join the dots there's David's 94:41 always saying David Ike's always you've got to like learn everything half the 94:47 individuals Mel they'd have it that you as a point you're not allowed to talk 94:52 to these people and that person you know you you've got a black blacklist them 94:56 And it's like, no, I listen to them and then I work out what their trauma is, which is so 95:05 easy to see when you've been at this as long as I have. 95:08 Then I see what's driving their motivation. 95:12 And that is how you walk the path to enlightenment is by learn everything and then realize you 95:18 didn't need to learn any of it. 95:19 That's just like the buddhist story, isn't it? 95:22 you know this is one of those ironies that paradise is at your front door 95:27 you've got to just throw off the layers of programming though to to realize that so that's 95:33 where i am now um the last podcast chat i have was with satoshi where he talked about the bsv bitcoin 95:44 which was the original bitcoin and i know mal that you know a lot about this which i want to 95:50 chat to you about this afterwards and that was a fascinating chat with a 95:57 super super bloke a lot of me in my get a lot of my guest mail after the podcast 96:02 say Chris I've I've really enjoyed that I've never really been on a podcast like 96:08 that before and it's that's that's because yeah I'm getting you on to chat 96:12 I'm not an interviewer I sometimes will talk as much as them it you know 96:20 because they're asking me stuff what's it like to row the Atlantic well it's like 96:24 this sort of so that's that what else have we done lately oh I spoke to an 96:31 international drug smuggler who's now an enlightenment coach yeah Dickie East 96:39 absolutely lovely lovely bloke you know banged up in all of banged up in 96:43 Hong Kong so you know so I that's what I'd say to anyone is just stop just don't 96:50 obsess watching all the conspiracy stuff all the time at some point you you've 96:54 got a like what break out of that matrix and and it's it's a limited hangout 97:00 obviously is is to learn this stuff but at some point you want to move 97:07 yourself forward if you haven't already there's probably people way way past 97:12 where I am but and it's not that's a bit of a sort of that's that's muddy in the 97:21 water really because it's not like a journey like you think it's just a way 97:25 of understanding like I say it's just you know I know I know I'm preaching to 97:34 the choir here with your audience but once you realize that everything you've 97:39 learned in your life is a lie everything then you can relearn it 97:43 What's the truth? You know your school system is a massive lie 97:48 University there's a reason they pass out without big black square thing on their head 97:53 There's a reason why black rock black cube black stone 98:00 Trump's 98:01 Atlantic City 98:02 Headquarters a reason they all have like black cubes on them is this lot they banged it 98:09 You know they beat to a different drum to you and I 98:11 they don't worship the guy with a wispy white beard who spends his time 98:18 knocking up stone tablets and virgins they you know they go with the other guy 98:23 and and they get you they get you through the education system they get 98:29 you through Hollywood they get you through the music industry they get 98:36 you through the international banking scam the you've learned to put 98:41 yourself on mute when you sneeze, haven't you? Yeah, it's good, good, good drills for a podcast. 98:47 So they get you through, you know, a fractional reserve banking, debt, debt based money system, 98:56 usury, religion is the biggest one when the empire fell back. And the merchants 99:03 subsconded over there to their Venice or the Phoenicians they they had to they had 99:11 to leave stuff in place when they pulled back so they left it in place their 99:17 esoteric societies so their secret societies they left behind the money 99:22 system and they left behind you know religion and part of your emancipation 99:31 from mental slavery is is getting to sort of learn all this you know stuff but not but then 99:39 realising learning it's one thing you've got to put it into practice. Yeah you were talking about 99:46 the 400 views for that guy and and it's so true people are still and you know my audience as 99:53 Well, they're still so trapped in the dopamine hits. 99:59 Dopamine, exactly. 100:01 And I'm the same. 100:02 I'll put up some podcasts, and it doesn't do that well. 100:05 And then you put some drama up, and it goes through the roof. 100:10 And it's a fine balance, I suppose. 100:14 But it is frustrating, because on with you, 100:18 like, let's go create the solutions now. 100:20 you know we've been living in the problems for a long time and let's just do 100:25 stuff and get on with it you know and I don't know if you've seen any of my 100:28 recent podcasts that went out from around Christmas with the World Martial 100:32 Authority there's been so many negative comments from certain people I've heard 100:39 all this bullshit before oh yeah whatever you know oh this is a sigh 100:42 up this is this this is that and people are just and I suppose I can 100:46 understand it to a point I know I'm conscious of the time I know you've 100:49 go in a minute. I can understand it because, you know, we've seen that, you know, everyone's 100:57 followed Trump for years and he's going to save us and the Q stuff and all of that. And 101:02 then it's like, you're still seeing the pantomime play out with the likes of Stammer and 101:07 and it's like, hang on a minute, why are the kids still being trafficked? Why are they still 101:12 rolling out some of these jabs? Why five years in? Why is this all still happening? And 101:17 people have got defeated and deflated and have just gone into a ball of you know dark energy 101:26 and it is difficult some days to keep the faith and to keep the light and to believe that it 101:31 but I do believe it because I feel it and like I always say everything that's manifested in this 101:37 world comes from a thought so why don't we think that this world is going to be a beautiful 101:45 place and guess what it will be I always say it's like Scarland to Simba Kingdom 101:51 in The Lion King even though we know Disney's whatever but that's what it's 101:56 like right? Scarland was awful and Simba Kingdom was wonderful and colourful and 102:01 happy and joyful and dancing and song and that's absolutely what we can 102:05 achieve but you've got to put your head out your ass and like you said 102:09 stop watching the the doom and gloom and going down all those rabbit 102:13 holes yes we all did it but there's a there's a time to stop and there's a 102:17 time to start focusing on the on the positives in the future so yeah that's 102:23 nice nicely summed up and as I always say no one's coming to save you except 102:28 yourself and do you know why it's the good idea to save yourself it's it's 102:33 because if you wake up every day in paradise then you realize you don't 102:40 need to change any of it it's all absolutely perfect as as as it is and I 102:46 know that sounds a bit you know what about the child traffic here and what 102:51 about the yeah yeah yeah but I can't change that physically I don't own an 102:56 army or you know have contacts in the Colombian drug cartels that can you know 103:04 but what I can do is I can sort my end out you know I can sort my part of ship 103:11 and a byproduct of sorting out your own ship is you like I say you wake up 103:17 every day in paradise and that that's a good that's a good place because it 103:22 has a knock-on effect for other people but it all starts with that day you 103:28 decide to do what I did stop stop playing a victim you do to life life doesn't do 103:35 to you you know leave the past behind be grateful take action and yeah and it's 103:45 with respect to the other stuff I mean anyone that remembers the freedom 103:49 movement during the medical nonsense it it wasn't a movement it was a whole 103:56 load of different people all with quite often opposing views certainly from 104:03 different camps meeting together in London because generally speaking they you 104:09 know there was one part of this march that appealed to their knit their sort 104:15 of needs but the idea was that it's like you know well you can say oh yeah 104:23 well a million people march a day it's like yeah but some of them are marching for freedom of speech 104:28 some of them are marching for self autonomy you know when it comes to health care procedures 104:33 some of them are marching because it's they don't want the nurses to be sacked some of them are 104:38 marching for like you know nurses against or nuns against races it's and you get those 104:46 individuals into a room it's you know there's such diverse understanding of 104:54 what's actually going on in the world that is very hard to to establish a plan 105:00 of action with people. Oh yeah and there's been a lot of people calling out 105:04 other people and then all of a sudden that one's a shill that one's a shill 105:08 once you start asking people if like David Ike is a shill you've just 105:15 lost it. First off I said go and meet the guy, do what I did. Find out he's an 105:20 absolutely lovely bloke. He's been through a lot. He has his trauma. He 105:26 operates in a certain way but when you can't tell who the good guys are from 105:32 the bad guys then and the whole controlled opposition thing it's way 105:37 more complicated than it you know most people self-censor because of these 105:44 platforms you can't I I do my best on my I've got two platforms I've got locals 105:52 which is a freedom of speech platform yeah we go over there and chat about 105:57 anything but on the other platform you know I have to you you've you've got to 106:03 be careful because otherwise they kick you off it and if they kick you off then 106:07 you've got no voice at all yeah how can I support all the veterans I'm 106:12 supporting. How can I support the people that are depressed, anxious? How can I, you know, so 106:19 so people sell censor, but that sell censorship. 106:24 It's coming down. The more people that are brave enough to speak about things on other platforms, 106:30 I think it's it, you know, it's becoming an easier arena to speak from still doesn't mean you 106:38 wouldn't get kicked off YouTube you just you just would as a lot of people found out to the cost 106:44 but again it's that thing isn't it it you can just see where people are on on their journey when 106:51 when they're so focused in life is what other people are doing yeah is hang on a sec sunshine 106:58 what what what are you doing what are you doing exactly um right you're late for your um yeah 107:06 Now I'm surprised I haven't heard a knock on the door yet but I better go now, yeah. 107:11 Where can people find you, Chris? 107:13 So on Chris Thrill on YouTube, just type that in, t-h-r-a-l-l, ChrisThrill.com is my website. 107:24 If people would like to chuck in five quid towards my Everest mission to shine a light 107:31 for struggling veterans and also highlight the link between adverse childhood experiences 107:38 and the suicide problem that we're seeing in a veteran's community. You can go to GoFundMe.com 107:45 forward slash challenge Everest and any one of my videos on YouTube there's a link below 107:54 it if that's easier for people to do. And social media, I'm crystal on everything except 108:01 Instagram where I'm Chris Dotthrall. Okay, cool. And obviously 108:07 Christhrall.com, isn't it your website? I think. Christhrall.com, yeah. 108:12 Well, thank you so much. You are off doing your daddy duties now. And it's been a real blast 108:20 getting to know you more. And I know there's like loads of stuff you could have talked about 108:25 and you've just skimmed the surface, but it was very, very interesting. I can only imagine 108:32 what your life has been like, like mine's been so different, and just talking about Hong Kong and 108:39 then basically coming back, I think I heard one of your interviews where your dad didn't even 108:43 recognise you in the airport when you came back because you were that thin, and yeah, I just, 108:49 it always amazes me it doesn't amaze me but it all it what's the word when 108:59 somebody has has gone from rock bottom like you were to what you've got now 109:04 and living a let's call it a stable life and and you're content and you're 109:12 happy and you're making an impact in the world and you're helping other 109:15 people that's just it's just beautiful because there are so many people that have gone through what 109:21 you've gone through with the drugs and unfortunately don't make it or they they become a very bitter 109:27 twisted person for the rest of their life and they forget that they're the legend right so 109:33 Yeah, I just wanted to say that yes good good point to finish on
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