Childhood Trauma Drives You to ATTACH to People Who Can’t Love You

This is what it feels like to fall for an avoidant: First, there’s a STRONG feeling of connection, like the feeling you knew was possible, and you recognize it like you’ve found home at last. Then you attach quickly, while you can, because the signs that they can’t love you back begin to appear immediately. They don’t look like red flags to you, because that incredible moment when they are right in front of you, but not quite with you – feels like the most romantic feeling you’ve ever felt. Except you have felt it before. If it keeps happening, in one relationship after another, it means it’s not just bad luck, but a pattern. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who worries she's doomed forever to pine away for people who don't love her back.

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