Answering YUr Shailos

🔥 Fasting for children before bar/bat mitzvah (major vs minor fasts)

– The common idea that a child must **fast three fast days before bar/bat mitzvah** is described as a **myth**; there is **no such halachic requirement**.

– **Yom Kippur**: Shulchan Aruch rules that a **healthy child** should fast **two Yom Kippurs before bar/bat mitzvah** (e.g., a boy may already have to fast from age 11 if he is healthy).

– **Training pattern (for healthy children)** as cited from Rav Schachter:

– **2 years before bar/bat mitzvah**: fast the **entire Yom Kippur**.

– **Previous 2 years** before that: fast **half-day** on Yom Kippur.

– Before that age: **no fasting** at all.

– **Minor fasts** (e.g., Tisha B’Av, 10 Teves, 17 Tammuz, Taanis Esther): **no fasting requirement for children** at all.

– This applies **equally to boys and girls**, adjusted to their respective bar/bat mitzvah ages and health.

🎲 Gambling for money “just for fun” (Asmachta, gezel, addiction, communal practice)

– The Gemara discusses **mesachek b’kuvia** (gambling) and whether gamblers are **invalid as witnesses**. Two main approaches:

– **Gezel derabbanan / Asmachta**: the loser never fully intended to part with the money; gambling becomes a **form of rabbinic theft**. On this view, **even occasional gambling** is problematic.

– **Eino osek b’yishuvo shel olam**: the gambler contributes nothing productive to society; invalid as an eid only if he **does this as his main occupation**. Occasional gambling would not invalidate eidus on this view.

– Rambam writes that a person should **spend his entire life** involved in **constructive, beneficial pursuits** and chochmah; that ethos pushes strongly **against recreational gambling**, especially when it can become **habitual**.

– Gambling is characterized as **highly addictive** and often **destructive** to families and finances.

– Expert statistic mentioned: in forms of gambling with **instant payoff / instant “rush”**, about **~29%** of people may develop an addiction.

– Addicted gamblers can incur **hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt**, sometimes even as kids/young adults.

– Since it is often impossible to know in advance **who will become addicted**, the recommended approach is to **avoid gambling altogether**, even “occasional” or “for fun.”

– Communal practice critique:

– **Jewish organizations** that run “casino nights” are described as **misreading the communal reality**, given the level of gambling addiction among teens in both right-wing and modern Orthodox schools.

– It is suggested to **object** to such events and question their appropriateness and leadership judgment.

🕯️ Benefiting from Chanukah candlelight via photography / monetizing images

– The prohibition **“haneros halalu kodesh hem”** forbids **using the light of the Chanukah candles** for personal benefit (e.g., reading or working by that light).

– Taking **photos or videos** of lit Chanukah candles, and **selling or monetizing** those images, is presented as **not a violation** of this prohibition:

– The benefit is not from the **physical illumination** to see by, but from the **image/representation** being used to **publicize the mitzvah** (pirsumei nisa), which is in line with the purpose of the candles.

– Additional leniencies:

– After the **required burning time (approx. 30 minutes)**, leftover oil/wax no longer has the same restrictions; benefiting from that light is permitted.

– A **shamash** candle provides heter to use the general light in the room, even if Chanukah lights contribute.

– Overall, **using Chanukah candles as a background or prop for pictures, even monetized**, is treated as **permissible**.

🕯️🕍 Public menorah lightings with a beracha outside of shul (offices, concerts, events)

– **Lighting in shul with a beracha** is a long-established, special **minhag**, and even that practice required significant effort by Rishonim/Acharonim to justify.

– Many poskim **strongly oppose extending** this minhag to **other public spaces** (offices, concerts, lobbies, etc.) with a beracha:

– Minchas Yitzchak: emphasizes how much effort went into justifying **shul lighting**; considers further extension (e.g., “at a gathering”) to be **beyond what Chazal intended**.

– Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Rav Wosner, and the Klausenberger Rebbe: similarly resist adding **new berachot** on lightings in non-shul public places; view it as **unauthorized innovation** and part of a trend of “doing whatever seems right” in mitzvos.

– Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer) summarizes:

– Notes many authorities who are **stringent**.

– Cites **Mishnas Yaakov**, who is lenient because large public gatherings may generate **greater pirsumei nisa** than shul.

– Concludes that in a **large communal gathering**, one **can rely** on the lenient opinions to make a **beracha**, but it is **preferable** to also **daven Ma’ariv there** so the lighting resembles the **shul context**.

– Key conditions for shul lighting that are often ignored at public events:

– Requires a **minyan** present.

– Lighting should be **within the framework of tefillah** (e.g., between Mincha and Ma’ariv, or before Aleinu on Motzaei Shabbos) — not after davening is over and everyone has left.

– **Chabad** practice:

– Widely conducts **public menorah lightings with berachot** outside of shuls, relying heavily on **pirsumei nisa** as the core rationale and extending the shul-minhag logic to any major public display.

– This approach is **not accepted** by many other poskim.

🍪 Cutting letters / shapes on food on Shabbos (Oreos, cakes, cookies)

– Rama (Orach Chaim 340) forbids **cutting letters on food**, e.g., slicing a decorated cake such that letters are **cut or erased**.

– Later poskim discuss ways to **avoid** the problem:

– Cutting **between letters**.

– **Removing the letters** with a thin layer of frosting.

– Cutting the cake **before Shabbos**.

– **Biting letters**:

– Mishnah Berurah allows **biting into letters** on cakes or cookies.

– Chazon Ish views this as a **double derabbanan** (shinui, and no intent to erase) and is stricter, but the **mainstream psak** follows Mishnah Berurah that **eating/biting is permitted**.

– Possible reasoning: erasing is defined as removing writing from a **surface that remains**, but when **devouring the entire surface** (e.g., mouth), it does not constitute classic mochek.

– Items like **Oreos or tea biscuits**, where the writing or design is **embossed into the dough**:

– Mishnah Berurah explicitly allows **breaking such cookies**, not only biting them.

– The text/design is **part of the structure** of the food, not “ink” or frosting on top.

– Similarly, cutting a **cake shaped** like a figure (e.g., a letter-shaped cake, or a shaped object) is treated as **permissible** according to many.

🤝 Hugging female relatives (aunts, sisters, etc.) when becoming more observant

– Halachic baseline:

– Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer) and many poskim hold that **affectionate touching (chibuk venishuk)** of arayot (forbidden relations) is an **issur d’oraita**, following the Ramban and Shulchan Aruch HaRav.

– Non-affectionate touch (**negi’ah shelo b’derech ta’ava**) is treated more leniently; the Shach permits certain forms.

– **Age thresholds**:

– Mishnah Berurah (Biur Halacha) suggests the issur of affectionate negi’ah begins around **age 3** for a girl.

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