"I'll leap gazelle-like and arrive in a stylish way"

A dejected West Ham fan calls the Sports Bar after the Hammers lost at home to Arsenal, Adrian Durham blasts Celtic for using Fraser Forster against Rangers despite paying less than 50% of his wages, Tony Bellew gives Anthony Joshua advice about what it's like facing destructive former undisputed cruiserweight champion Oleksandr Usyk, Danny Murphy tells Everton what they must do next to rediscover their identity and there's more madness on the Midnight Train.

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