Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, shares the tale of a student who asked his teacher why, after he had fasted and prayed for 30 years that he had still not found God. The teacher’s response: “You could sit for 100 years and it wouldn’t do any good. Selfishness is your barrier.” Lola recounts a long letter to a Roshi where the practitioner listed all his thoughts about spirituality and the universe. The Roshi’s response: “You know too much.” Just accumulating words is not gonna do it. If you acknowledge that you don’t know… then you can live with these fictions and not let them dominate you. Are you truthful with yourself? Really truthful? The naked truth? We’ve lived with our fictions so long we start to believe they are reality. Why, asks Lola, does Nature hide the light from us? Nature does not. The veil is ours. Do you ever believe you are somebody special? Most of us have at various points in our lives, or in our days. We think that we—as individuals—are going to be enlightened. Watch for your appearances to raise their heads. Then drop them. Pay the price, which is to admit the truth. If time is an issue with your meditation, then you’re not really meditating. If you ever have a real moment of true meditation, you’ll never complain again about time spent meditating. Oct 30, 1988
