Show full transcript 0:23 And we've obviously got emails from you lovely lot. 0:27 Enjoy. 0:27 Propel fitness water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. 0:33 Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your 0:36 workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade 0:41 electrolytes. Fall never arrives all at once. 0:47 Burst the air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find 0:53 each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old 0:58 Cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer 1:05 until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. 1:14 Hello, you are listening to and possibly watching Shag Mordenoid with me Rosie Ramsey and my husband 1:19 Christopher Ramsey. Hello. Hello. Welcome guys. Hope everyone's all right. Oh there, hope you 1:24 have a nice week. If this is Friday as you're listening to it, if you're listening to it 1:27 after the weekend, hope you're about to have a nice week. Oh, that's nice. All bases covered. 1:30 I've had. 1:31 Enjoy. 1:31 Just a bit of positivity there. 1:32 Now Rosie, anyone not watching will not know, 1:36 but you have two blocks of wood on your desk 1:39 in front of you. 1:41 They're at Christopher. 1:42 What are they? 1:42 That's extremely rude. 1:43 Right. 1:44 And I want you to take that back straight away. 1:46 These are actually called A Awards. 1:48 Yeah. 1:48 Right. 1:49 Awards. 1:49 Been around for a long, long time. 1:50 Yeah. 1:51 Awards, yes. 1:52 Nice. 1:52 I was at the Norda Awards. 1:54 Yes. 1:54 On Saturday evening and with my South Shields, 1:59 It's sort of a crew, awful. 2:02 She did a little gang sign with her hand, 2:03 which she said crew there. 2:04 It should be this. 2:06 Singing. 2:07 Yeah, it looks like you're something like that. 2:10 Can't do that. 2:11 What? 2:13 Like, look like I'm something like that. 2:14 Yeah, someone went viral for doing it on 2:16 Dancing with the Stars in America. 2:18 I saw there was a clip, someone in the crowd 2:19 and she tried, she was a famous person, 2:20 I don't know if she was, but she tried. 2:21 Oh, she did that. 2:22 Yeah, she didn't do that. 2:23 And then like, spent the rest of the night 2:25 looking down the camera when I was a cook, 2:26 when it was a mic. 2:27 Very funny. 2:28 Very funny. 2:29 Listen. 2:29 Anyway, you've got you've got two bits of wood and we won the award for the best 2:35 concert and the best of one best concert twice one best concert but one of 2:44 them no one of them no listen one of them was awarded the regional councillor 2:48 best concert in North region and that was us oh by the way though they do 2:53 them in districts like all right okay so it's district one the district 3:00 It was like different areas of the Northeast. 3:03 You all have to fight. 3:04 Of course, it went on for so long. 3:05 Really? 3:05 It was so fucking long. 3:07 These things do. 3:08 And like, yeah. 3:10 But it was great and it was, I'm really chuffed. 3:12 And we work hard, you know, like it's an amateur society. 3:15 Nobody's getting paid. 3:16 It's a hobby. 3:17 And it's just, I think it's nice to have hobbies. 3:19 And I think I'm a real, I just love amateur theater. 3:22 And I think long live amateur theater, in my opinion. 3:26 So I said, so my mate Jordan came down to the Manchester 3:29 just to show that hard at the weekend. 3:30 Big thanks to everyone who came to show us this week. 3:31 I'm just gonna put them down, 3:32 I'm just gonna put them away for now. 3:33 No worries, no worries, go on, give them a little kiss. 3:35 There we go, well done. 3:36 They're lovely little wards, well done. 3:37 Hey! 3:38 So chuffed, do you know how hard it was 3:39 to put that show together? 3:41 Yeah, I know, I was, yeah, remember? 3:42 Oh, I know, you lived through it. 3:44 It's genuinely really hard. 3:45 I did do the district joke, you know, 3:47 nobody fuckin' knew. 3:47 Oh, no, don't know. 3:48 I did, when I walked out of the stage, 3:49 I went, do, do, do, do, do. 3:50 Not a fuckin' chocolate. 3:53 Oh, Jesus. 3:55 So two things, my mate Jordan came down when I did my Manchester solo last Saturday night 4:01 and I said it was standard at the side of the stage when Carl was on and he looked up and 4:05 Manchester Opera House, it's like massive and it's all you can see the lights at the 4:07 back and you can see all the ropes that go up the side, all the lines for all the curtains 4:10 and stuff and he went, it's pretty cool back here isn't it? 4:13 And I literally looked down and I went, oh there's a real magic to the theatre 4:17 and he just looked at it and I was like, ah, God, yes that was a weird thing to 4:22 wasn't it but there is there is a magic joke and I love the theater and also 4:26 whenever I have as a comedian hosted awards ceremony they always say the 4:34 person people the people organizing the awards they're like oh my god they're 4:37 so up for it the crowd they love it they're so excited never excited and 4:42 they're always fucking gutted when I'm like award one of 35 they're like 4:46 pretty as an audience so I'm pretty engaged alright okay and the played 4:51 like musical theatres in songs in between all of the awards and that was a bit 4:54 because everyone sang along and that was cute though it was nice but also there 4:59 is a little bit of like whoring about the societies dare I say it they're all 5:06 new each other because all just kind of like oh so what's like what you watch 5:11 all you're doing Shrek oh there's a part in that that I like and so they'll go 5:14 to that society and then it's like oh what are you doing there was so many 5:19 Many of them did Shrek. 5:20 What? 5:21 It was like, oh, it's a fucking musical now, isn't it? 5:23 Yeah, of course. 5:24 Shrek musical, right, sorry. 5:25 There's only so many shows that are allowed to, 5:27 that Amateur Society is allowed to do. 5:29 Right. 5:30 To have the rights to. 5:32 Really? 5:32 Mm-hmm. 5:33 I didn't know this. 5:34 Oh yeah, you've got to pay it to do them. 5:35 And there's only a certain number of shows, 5:38 like in Amateur Society, 5:39 you can't, we can't do Disney. 5:41 Not allowed to do Disney. 5:42 Not allowed at all. 5:43 You've got to pay it to sing them. 5:44 Jesus. 5:45 Yeah. 5:46 It's mad, there's so many rules, guys. 5:48 guys, there's so many rules. So yeah, so they'll put all know each other and they're all kind of like, 5:53 but honestly, 15 year old me, right? When I joined the GNS all them years ago, if she could have 6:01 known that I had a double award at the Nordas, the bloody Nordas, then she'd have gone, she'd 6:08 have died right there and then. It's really lovely, right, because we've got a plethora 6:13 of awards behind where and we've been nominated for all kinds of stuff and national television 6:17 awards and stuff like that but the fact that them nor does that you went to or only knew about 6:21 since you were 15 still means so much to you. It's very very nice. Absolutely. That's the first 6:24 thing I have to say. Second thing I'm literally every single person listening now it's on their lips. 6:29 Are you going to do Shrek if so? Who are you going to be? Oh honestly so I know you're all 6:35 thinking that I do Fiona. I'd want to be the donkey. I knew you were going to say donkey. 6:38 I wish I'd said it. I wish I'd said donkey. I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, 6:44 That's his song. 6:45 Really? 6:45 I'm a believer. 6:47 Right. 6:47 In the film, I don't actually know the music of that one. 6:49 No, I would be, I'd either be- 6:51 We'll consider you, I need to see if you want to- 6:52 I'd want to be the donkey or the open orc. 6:55 You always got a good song in track and musical. 6:57 Oh, there we go. 6:57 I'm not being the fucking princess, although she is- 7:01 More stage time. 7:03 Yeah, and also she does turn into an orca. 7:05 No, I always take the funny, I want the smallest part. 7:08 This is what I've done for years, right? 7:10 I want the smallest part, 7:12 but I will shine in that part. 7:13 Is that it? 7:14 I will shine in everyone else. 7:15 Fucking right. 7:16 Least hours, least hours. 7:18 Least amount of time. 7:19 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 7:20 Yeah. 7:21 What do you call it? 7:21 The comic relief. 7:24 You want to be the comic relief. 7:25 You want to just pop in and do bish-bosh-bosh and go on. 7:26 Yeah, I want to do nothing, 7:27 but then I want to be in the reviews going. 7:30 Stole the show. 7:30 Light relief. 7:31 Stole the show. 7:32 There it is. 7:33 Used to be Winter. 7:34 That was me. 7:35 Wow, you're so buzzing with it being back in the day. 7:36 You've actually went back to your mate. 7:38 Do you perform under your maiden name 7:39 in amateur mathematics now? 7:41 Was that your thing? 7:42 Oh my God, I showed you in there. 7:43 Yeah, you showed it, it was really funny. 7:45 Anyway, listen, enough of that shrieking about. 7:48 Thank you so much for being here. 7:49 Thank you so much for listening. 7:50 Thank you so much for watching. 7:52 If you're all watching on YouTube, 7:53 please subscribe, that would be lovely. 7:54 And now without further ado, 7:55 it is time for this week's lucrative sponsor. 7:58 Gotta be honest with you. 7:59 Bit more of a male centric sponsor this week. 8:02 Apologies to the female listeners out there. 8:04 Bit more of a male, I say male, not even male, 8:08 sorry, let's be more progressive than that. 8:09 a bit more of a sponsor for people with penises. 8:12 Not saying this hasn't happened to people without penises, 8:15 but if it has, fuck, I don't know how, 8:17 I would like to know how, fair play to you. 8:19 This week's sponsor is accidentally pissing 8:22 on the end of your belt. 8:24 Oh, yeah. 8:26 Then your belt. 8:26 Bad, yeah. 8:27 How are you doing that? 8:28 I'm upset and so I opened, I went to the urinal. 8:30 I was in the supermarket, toilet, 8:31 which makes it even better. 8:33 Literally, fly down, open your belt, open, toilet, 8:38 start going straight away. 8:39 So do you not just take your penis out of you? 8:42 I don't know who's doing that. 8:43 Okay, no surgery, tough, tough to do that. 8:46 Oh, you've got, there's all kinds going on. 8:48 Yeah, so you have to like, you have to unzip 8:50 and then go in and then if you're tucked in, 8:53 you've got to lift the shirt up. 8:54 Well, your box has, and why friends 8:56 don't have the little slit in, do they? 8:57 They don't have the why. 8:58 No one's using the why. 8:59 It's crazy. 9:00 I don't know. 9:01 It's like a fucking, you know, 9:02 can you remember a snake on a nocturne? 9:03 Yeah. 9:04 Remember when you'd fill the screen 9:05 and it was just like down, up, round 9:06 and you just had to go back on itself. 9:07 I lost my attention quite quickly, I'm not gonna lie. 9:09 Snake did. 9:10 Not a games person. 9:11 I had a mate, I'm sure I've said this before on the podcast, 9:13 I had a mate who could get the super high score on Snake 9:17 and I remember one night we're all out somewhere 9:20 sitting and everyone had knock ears 9:22 and all that we did all night was he just took turns 9:24 to get the high score on everyone's phone 9:26 and everyone watched him. 9:27 Nice, you have told me that. 9:27 I don't know if you've told. 9:28 It's fucking nuts. 9:29 These guys. 9:29 Just stood there and it was like, 9:31 oh yeah he did a class and it was like, 9:32 oh so then they could go to school or college 9:35 or whatever and go look at me high score on Snake 9:37 and it was much higher than the roses. 9:38 What a life. 9:39 What a life. 9:40 So anyway, unzip, unbutton, open the flat, open the belt, 9:43 it flips out, I start going to the toilet 9:45 and it just bounces back round, 9:47 goes right in front of me, Dick, and just. 9:49 Oh my God, it wasn't even a little dipped out. 9:51 No, no. 9:52 It was the full splash. 9:53 But I got a belt on it, it came round 9:55 and basically like, imagine it was, 9:56 it was like it was trying to stop 9:59 me, we from entering the urinal. 10:00 It was like, no! 10:01 It just went all over the belt. 10:02 Oh my God. 10:02 It was horrible. 10:03 It was devastating. 10:04 Was that today? 10:05 No, no, it was a while ago. 10:06 like last week. God I'm gonna, I'm actually gonna wet myself you know come 10:09 hurry up. Oh really? You're in the toilet? Yeah you're talking about that it's just made us 10:14 well there we go. Need it even more. Well let's crack on. All right. Get the jingle on and go 10:17 and get yourself for it. Don't speak about jingles in front of me. Get the jingle on and get 10:21 yourself for a tingle. Oh that's me and you in. There we go. Copyright Chris Fransy. 10:26 We had a fight about the jingle, jingle, we couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle, so this is the jingle, jingle, we hope you like the jingle, jingle, bap, do bap, do bap, do bap, jingle. 10:45 Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagmar and Dinoid. 10:48 Hello. 10:49 If you're watching on YouTube, I just went in the loo and then I came back and I kicked 10:52 the camera. 10:54 My camera. 10:55 Chris's camera. 10:56 So if you, well, it looks average to me. 10:58 It looks okay. 10:58 I don't think that I noticed. 10:59 I don't think people pay much attention. 11:01 But you've got to say, because when I see like a very slight mistake in a film or 11:04 whatever, or something I'm watching, I'm like, oh, it consumes me thoughts. 11:08 Just in case. 11:09 I know, but you're not that kind of person I am and other people out there 11:12 are. 11:12 So yeah very true. I'll see you. If you're that person I'll see you. 11:16 So just the life of the Ramses you are still on to her. 11:20 Yes. Very much. We're like we're like passing little ships at the minute. 11:23 It's really odd at the minute. Yeah really odd at the minute. We are ships in the night 11:26 and I've got I've got stuff to talk to you about because I haven't even spoke to you. 11:30 I've got something I've got stuff to tell you. 11:33 I suppose so we did the podcast on Monday and then Monday night you went to work 11:37 and then I had you came back the day I was going and then I didn't get back 11:43 till Sunday so I didn't and but it wasn't until Saturday that I actually 11:47 probably sat and spoke to you on the phone because you were so busy with your job 11:49 yeah so yeah but it's good it is good no I'm thoroughly enjoying my new little 11:53 job as well and the team are really nice they show itself really good and 11:59 I've cried a lot of times I don't know if I'm actually even allowed to talk 12:02 about it, but I don't know if I'm the right person for the job. 12:07 You've cried on camera with the people you thought you're having, just like... 12:10 No, honestly. 12:11 I've just gone back to your hotel and broke down. 12:13 Yeah, maybe I have. 12:15 I don't know how people do it. 12:17 Do you know a long lost family? 12:19 You've watched it before, haven't you? 12:20 Yeah. 12:20 Like, I don't think I could do it. 12:23 No, you'd be a mess. 12:23 Well, you did children a need without crying. 12:26 I had bored my eyes out. 12:27 Right, so the thing with when I did children a need, them VTs... 12:31 You don't see them, do you? You're busy. 12:33 No, I watch them beforehand. 12:35 I'll say, you need to send me these, 12:37 and I watch them beforehand, 12:38 because if I watch them on the night, I'll fall apart. 12:42 And I do all me crying beforehand. 12:43 I do it like a day before. 12:46 Might be why they didn't book us again. 12:48 He's just fucking bringing everyone down. 12:50 What's this fucking problem? 12:50 He's crying out the way. 12:51 Yeah, you've got to set aside a day before from it. 12:54 Do all these crying. 12:55 It's just not a nice way to work. 12:57 So yeah, I would literally get all me crying out the way. 12:59 And when I had to do the videos for them, 13:00 If I did if it was a clip that I did the voiceover for I would sit and cry in the boot 13:04 And then so on the night if I caught it, you know, I want to know what it is 13:07 But I don't want to watch it on the night. No, I'm totally sure. So yeah 13:10 Yeah, and there is one thing that happened that I haven't told you about I stayed in a hotel 13:15 I don't want to name the hotel, but 13:18 The this has never happened, but apparently it happens quite a lot, right? 13:22 So when we are leaving the restaurant the lady was like 13:26 He has a QR code, if you give us a five star review, 13:31 I'll get a fiver. 13:33 What the fuck? 13:35 Yeah? 13:36 She personally gets a fiver? 13:38 She personally gets a fiver for every five star review 13:41 that's left, mentioned in her name. 13:43 What? 13:45 And I was like, I took it and I went, oh, thanks so much. 13:48 But you know when you're like, 13:49 but what if I didn't think it was five star worthy? 13:52 Well, yeah, but that's amazing though, 13:54 because you just do it to give her a fiver because it's not coming out with your pocket. 13:58 That's like a free tip. 13:58 Um, no, I fucking didn't. 14:02 Sorry. 14:03 No, did you? 14:04 No, no, yeah, if, if should have been like sensational, then I should, I think she was 14:12 want. 14:14 Sorry. 14:15 I find that the most, um, unprofessional. 14:18 It's it's a hoodwink. 14:19 That's why I said it's genius because it's a hoodwink. 14:21 It's a fucking, it's a scam. 14:22 It's if you just quickly fill this out. I get a fiver. How good's that and also all right, okay? I'm also I'm really good because I genuinely 14:30 Pay quite a lot of attention to reviews 14:33 But like you've said to help advise I should be able to see the person's lounge and I completely agree 14:37 Like you love this bedroom so much. What's your bedroom look like just giving away one of me? 14:42 Yeah, one of me gags for me to about whatever 14:45 It's one of the biggest biggest first jokes of me two other but that's okay. They all have that for free 14:49 Well, you can take it out. That's fine here it again 14:52 People watch, people listen to stuff all the time. 14:54 Garlic bread, don't they, man? 14:56 Yeah, fair point. 14:56 Get over yourself. 14:58 Yeah, but I was just like, I just found it really. 15:00 Yeah, no, it's a hoodwink, it's a scam. 15:03 It's clever. 15:03 It's very clever. 15:04 She didn't even do it, 15:05 she didn't even do it like, look, Christmas is coming. 15:08 Oh, so you wanted a full song, 15:10 but you wanted a John Lewis advert. 15:11 Do you know what it is? 15:12 If she should have been like, 15:13 look, they've started this thing 15:15 and if you leave a five-star review, 15:17 I hope you think that it's been worth five stars. 15:19 We've really looked after you, 15:20 we've tried our best, we've worked really hard 15:21 I'll get a fiver, but it was right if you get this review if you scan that QR code 15:26 I'll get a fiver and then she gets a fiver and I'll 15:31 thought 15:32 no 15:35 No, but I was like please please try and sell this to us because 15:40 Because also when we actually went to the restaurant 15:43 There was two massive groups and we sat down as a four and they were like if he's could we're waiting for us 15:49 Nathan to arrive. Don't mind we're having drinks. And they were like, if you could hurry up and order 15:53 because we want to get these people's food ordering. So it was like, can you fucking hurry up so we 15:58 can get your shitty little four people out of the way and get all of these. And then when we were 16:03 leaving, she was like, I don't want to rush this, but actually we're about and it was like, 16:08 leave a five star review for a five star review is okay. Fuck off. Yeah, 16:12 you can't be giving people time frames and then asking for a five star review. 16:14 No! 16:15 It was wild. 16:16 He has a question for you. 16:17 What if she just said, 16:19 if you leave a five-star review, 16:21 a village somewhere in a third-world country 16:23 gets a clean water well? 16:25 Then I would have left a five-star review. 16:26 I'll just check you're not a total bastard. 16:27 Fair enough, good. 16:28 No, oh my God. 16:29 No, I'm not. 16:30 And honestly, but, but, 16:32 I would love for that girl to have a fiver. 16:34 I'd love nothing more. 16:35 I'd rather give her the fiver myself 16:37 and I'd rather say, yeah, there's a fiver. 16:39 I'll tell you what, 16:40 there's a couple of fivers for all you made, 16:42 but I'm not leaving five-star 16:43 because it wasn't five-star 16:44 And I don't want somebody else to come and stay here 16:47 You can't bribe people with five-star reviews. It's bullshit. Yeah, this is the world. We're living now. Leave a five-star review 16:53 I'll get a fiver 16:54 But everybody who comes will think that it's five-star one actually 16:58 We got total hurry the fuck up because there was 20 other people waiting for their food order in the kitchen like I 17:04 Don't honestly don't want to sound like a bitch 17:05 But I grew up working in like customer service and like the hospitality industry 17:12 and then Chela's coffee at the nook. 17:14 And like, I just wouldn't dare. 17:16 Well sorry, no, I'm gonna double down on that even more. 17:18 I'm in an industry, we're currently in an industry, 17:21 I'm currently on tour with a stand-up tour. 17:23 A five-star review is the most fucking epic pinnacle. 17:27 It's the pinnacle of what you fucking strive for. 17:30 I can count on one hand the amount of times 17:31 I've had five-star reviews, it's fucking rare. 17:33 You know, four, you go off four, 17:35 sometimes the reviewers are really twatty 17:38 and they'll give you a four and a half 17:39 and you go, oh come on, man. 17:41 What's that? 17:41 It reads like a four, it's only, what was it? 17:46 It's a three, but it reads like a four. 17:47 It's a three, but it reads like a four. 17:48 We used to see it at Edmund Fringe all the time. 17:50 I got a three off such and such, 17:52 but honestly it reads like a four. 17:54 Some good quotes in there, it reads like a four, but yeah. 17:58 Fantastic. 17:58 Am I hot? 17:59 You've made us feel horrible now. 18:00 No, no, I'm deliberately winding you up. 18:04 I'm deliberately winding you up. 18:05 I know what you mean, 18:05 if you had a five in your pocket, 18:06 you'd rather just go, 18:07 can I just give you a five? 18:08 Cause I don't want to review this shit place 18:09 I said five stars because that's just ridiculous. 18:11 Everything's review now though. 18:13 Everything is. 18:13 And I know what's on my mind. 18:14 I just thought. 18:14 Because we have asked people to review 18:16 and like and rate and subscribe on here. 18:18 But it's just, yeah. 18:19 Yeah, we're not like. 18:20 And I do get, I get, I get a grand for every five stars. 18:23 Just if you like it. 18:24 Yeah, of course. 18:25 But she was saying, I get a fiver. 18:28 That's very clever. 18:29 It's pulling on your heartstrings. 18:31 Well they've said, tell them. 18:33 When people are leaving, Janice, 18:35 tell them, say, I get a fiver. 18:37 if this is a five, she might not get a five 18:40 after every five star review. 18:41 I'm just putting that out there. 18:42 She physically might not get a five 18:44 after every five star review. 18:45 It might just be a thing to see 18:47 to get the five star reviews. 18:48 It genuinely might be a thing to see. 18:50 I hate this world, you know that. 18:51 Crazy man. 18:52 I actually hate this world. 18:54 Like I genuinely went to bed feeling bad 18:56 because part of this was like, 18:58 I want her to have a five out, 18:59 but the other part was, Janice it wasn't worth. 19:02 It wasn't worth five star, it just wasn't five stars. 19:05 That guy didn't write, was he called Jonas? 19:06 No, I don't know. 19:07 All right. 19:07 Do you want to feel better about yourself? 19:09 Because I did something much more ass-holery 19:11 than that this week. 19:13 Oh, yeah, go on. 19:14 I feel bad now. 19:14 Don't feel bad, I'm taking the piss out. 19:16 But as an ex-hospitaly person. 19:19 No, I fully understand. 19:20 Do you want to just, yeah, I get it. 19:22 I feel a bit bad. 19:23 No, but you know, yeah, I totally get it. 19:25 But listen, I can beat it. 19:27 If you feel a bit bad about something you've done, 19:28 always come to me. 19:29 Okay. 19:30 Come on then. 19:31 I'll tell you what's wrong, right? 19:32 I'll tell you what I've done. 19:33 That's worse. 19:33 I'll make you feel better. 19:34 Imagine if you made me call you Uncle Chris all the time. 19:38 How awful was that, mate? 19:41 Imagine, like a weird fetish thing. 19:42 I'm only answering Uncle Chris. 19:45 Rosie, it's Monday. 19:46 You're gonna only call us Uncle Chris. 19:49 So, we're going to, actually, what? 19:52 Can I just ask, sorry, I'm really sorry I don't want to 19:55 butt in. 19:55 No, you did, I'm sorry. 19:56 I've got one request. 19:58 Please, can you not mention golf? 20:00 I'm not gonna. 20:00 Okay. 20:01 At all? 20:02 Okay. 20:04 You just move on. 20:06 Is it about, I just feel like you've been very golf heavy. 20:09 Just that story was all about, all about golf. 20:13 I'm joking, it wasn't right. 20:14 So I got it with venue. 20:15 So in the, in the, along the lines of, 20:19 you know, when we're on the train or whatever, 20:20 and we said, we've said it before, 20:21 we're on the train, we've got loads of suitcases. 20:23 And someone always goes, oh, how long is it? 20:26 Them kind of fucking interactions. 20:28 Which I always say that irritates. 20:29 I'm on the train by myself. 20:31 And someone's like, oh, how long year for? 20:32 Like literally I could be leaving my family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could be. Yeah. You don't know. Anyway, 20:36 so I get out of the van at the destination, which I'm not going to mention just in case, right? 20:42 And I've just been asleep. I had a little nap in the van. Me and Kog get out, two of my daugets out, 20:49 and they're getting stuff out the back and now I'm so helping out. And then I stand at the side 20:52 of the van and I look at me reflection in the van and I kind of just move me hair a bit and I 20:55 look rough as fuck. I've just woke up. I look terrible. And this guy who works at the venue, 21:00 trying to have a bit banter. 21:02 He went, oh, you still look great, man. 21:04 You're still good looking, don't worry. 21:07 I thought, and I went, oh, I went well. 21:10 It's been a long journey, so I'm surprised, like, 21:13 and he went, ah, and I thought, that was all right. 21:15 And I got to the van, and I happened to look at myself 21:17 again, because I had a big bit of hair sticking up 21:19 at the back of where I'd been sleeping in the van, 21:21 and I was flattening it down, and he went, 21:24 yeah, we've got mirrors inside there, you know? 21:27 And I thought, you've had it twice now, 21:29 No, I'm not having this. 21:30 So he went, we've got mirrors inside, you know? 21:32 I turned and looked at him. 21:35 I pointed at his face and I went, 21:37 doesn't fucking look like it. 21:42 He didn't speak, it was for the rest of the night. 21:46 He didn't say another thing, 21:47 it was for the rest of the night. 21:53 I told Carl, I got Carl to be dressed for me 21:55 when I got in. 21:56 I whispered to him, I went, was this too much? 21:57 And Carl went, fucking help me. 22:00 I just woke up. I'm just look you're gonna be on the news for like 22:05 But doing like running someone over who looks like don't like I've just woke up. I know I get it 22:11 I know it's annoying. It's annoying. Don't flex the muscles. I'm a fucking professional comedian 22:16 Don't have two fucking pops out doesn't think I'm not gonna fucking like I can't help it 22:20 It's it's a fucking it's like, you know when that you know, it's a reaction 22:23 You know when they hit you the dog hits your knee and you're fucking leg 22:25 It's just a reaction 22:26 but called it even worse. 22:29 Same venue, right? 22:31 So this is why whenever we go to a job, 22:35 Chris and I together, because my tolerant, 22:38 I know I come on here right now doing, 22:40 I have a whinge in the morning, 22:41 I'm not normally due on and I'm a bitch, right? 22:43 But actually, if you meet me in public, 22:45 I genuinely have got a really, 22:47 I kind of can take a lot of shit. 22:49 So whenever we do a job together, 22:51 what do I always say? 22:52 Chris doesn't represent both of us. 22:53 Just separately, please. 22:55 So imagine being with Carl as well. 22:57 So, right. 22:58 Oh God, Carl's just as bad as you. 23:00 So let's, this venue, great venue, phenomenal, 23:03 crowd room, isn't it? 23:04 What was his job? 23:05 Who the guy? 23:06 Uh huh. 23:07 He was like, something to do with the stage manager. 23:10 Yeah, like a techie, something to do with the stage manager 23:12 and whatever. 23:13 So the same venue, right? 23:14 Oh Chris, did he not even take it for me? 23:17 So I was like, oh, it was like, you know, 23:20 like, Dain, you can't like, you can't, 23:22 you can't start sparring with us 23:24 and then get upset when I fucking, when I win. 23:27 You can't do it, because I'm a comedian, 23:29 like it's my job, it's what I do. 23:31 And I didn't, but I sort of taught them a bit. 23:33 I was like, thanks mate, I thank you. 23:34 But it's to say, I hate it when I hear it. 23:37 The ban I stopped, basically the ban I stopped. 23:38 You wouldn't ban that with us anymore. 23:39 Right. 23:39 I took the ban I took for. 23:41 But I hate it when people take the piss 23:41 out of people's clothes. 23:42 Yeah, well I don't like it when people talk 23:44 about what you look like, I talk about what you wear 23:46 and it's not good, but listen to this. 23:47 This is. 23:48 Right, okay, so this is Carl. 23:48 And I'm only telling this, and I text Carl, 23:50 What I talked about on the way home the other night and I texted when I got home 23:53 And I said can I tell that story on the podcast not the one? 23:56 I've just told the one about to tell and I went mainly because I don't want this venue to think that it was me 24:01 That said the final thing because I said yes, I said the mirror thing and I and yes 24:05 It was a little bit harsh, but you know and he wasn't a pilot and bloat to be fair, but 24:10 So this is but it's calls done the same calls done a better one a worse one much at the same venue 24:14 Same venue. So we're all piling the van, do some selfies outside, meet some fans 24:19 and then me and Carl piling the van and the van doors in the shut right and we're sitting there 24:24 and tour manager Mick is in the front and Carl went really loud and the award for the venue 24:35 staff who smell most like cigarettes goes to and then he said the name of the venue 24:41 And then the next thing we heard was Mick through his open fucking window go 24:47 Thanks guys. Thank you very much. And all the stuff went. Yeah, thanks. Bye Mick 24:52 The front fucking window was open 24:54 And all I'm on here to say is it was Carl Hutchinson who said that it wasn't me because I said that venue is 25:01 Gonna say that as Chris Ramsey's band as Chris Ramsey's van pulled away 25:05 He shouted something horrible and I did that wasn't me 25:09 It was Carl and the award for the venue staff who smell the most like cigarettes goes to 25:15 Bye lads. Thanks. Yeah. Cheers. Make sure we book all but fuck 25:23 Again 25:25 I actually have nothing to do with this tour. Nope. No way shape or form am I associated with the two of these 25:35 But also yeah, I didn't I didn't leave the five-star review 25:40 Congratulations. Welcome to being an arsehole. It's took you a long time. It's took you a long 25:45 time but we're just on board. Come on! Propel fitness water with Gatorade electrolytes, 25:52 zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your 25:58 workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. 26:06 Fall never arrives all at once. 26:09 Verse the air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. 26:15 A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf, because 26:22 you don't simply step into the season. 26:24 You create it layer by layer, until it finally feels like fall. 26:29 Find fall your way at Ross. 26:34 from athletic stuff like a full-court pickup game swish to athletic stuff like 26:40 a half-mile stroll get those steps in head to seara or seara.com for the 26:44 brands you want at the prices that let you do it all from athletic to athletic 26:48 seara's got it 26:51 speaking of things that you shouldn't really say why do I not have the 26:56 ability to shut the fuck up 26:59 He'd be an overshading again love. 27:02 Ah, there it is. 27:03 It's every time I'm in a new situation. 27:06 So I started this new TV show more of filming 27:08 and it was very intense, 27:09 you're kind of with the people all day. 27:12 But then I'd just leave every night and lie in my bed 27:14 and go, why did you say that? 27:16 Why did you say that? 27:17 Like, why did you talk about glycerin suppositories 27:20 to people who you don't even know? 27:21 Oh no, not this, no. 27:22 Just, yeah, just, you know, 27:23 just got spread around that I hadn't had a shit 27:25 so I had to have a suppository. 27:26 And it was the first day of filming, you know, and you just like, I did the same, I did the same for Time Crashers. 27:31 I know, I can't help myself. 27:33 When I did Time Crashers for Channel 4, anyone who doesn't know, I did a show for Channel 4 years ago, really fucking good show. 27:38 Me and a few other, you know, famous people had to stay in, in period, so in like, you know, the past for a couple of days, like a movie set. 27:46 And yeah, the toilets were of the period. 27:49 So holes in the ground fucking. 27:51 And I was like, absolutely not. And they were like, you're going to be bunged up. 27:53 And I was like, I'm not going to be bunged up because on the days off where we go to a hotel. 27:56 I'll just hire a suppository up and just empty myself and then that'll be that and that's exactly what I did 28:00 Yeah, yeah, but it's just why like I just feel silences. I feel silences 28:05 I'm with like stuff that people don't need to know. Yeah, but also 28:09 And the boss guy Sam was there and you tell it like everyone's he's the boss like everyone's cut sort of like very 28:15 respectful to him and obviously he's from Cardiff and 28:19 And I for some reason when we were just about to do some VT's I was like, oh my god 28:24 I was like, do you speak Welsh? 28:25 And he was like, yeah, yeah, I speak Welsh. 28:27 And I was like, no start, carry on back. 28:30 And the crew were all sort of like, 28:32 what are you talking about? 28:33 And hey, nobody's ever looked this way. 28:36 Just sort of went, right. 28:39 And then they were all like, okay. 28:42 And what is that? 28:44 Well, I had a Welsh boyfriend for a little while. 28:46 Right. 28:47 And it means like, good night, my little love. 28:50 Right. 28:51 It was just massive. 28:53 Did he see you had a problem? 28:54 Did he see you had said it right? 28:55 I'd actually googled it after and I think it's, 28:57 no I think it's, 28:59 cause the way he looked at it is I was like, 29:01 have I just fucking said, 29:03 hoist something up me back end? 29:04 Like literally, 29:06 I was like, what have I said? 29:08 And everyone was just like, 29:10 The boss on a new job. 29:12 Sorry, can I see it for once? 29:14 Judge me and Rosie separately. 29:15 I've got nothing to do with this job. 29:18 Fucking. 29:19 Going into a bloody Welsh. 29:21 Maybe he was impressed, I don't know. 29:22 But no, it means them. It means like nightstar little love or something like like goodnight little love. It's just it was just an appropriate Chris. I just didn't need it. Honestly, didn't need to say it. 29:32 But he didn't say well done or yeah, that means this or anything. 29:35 No, which actually leads me to believe. 29:37 He's not well. He's calm. 29:38 He can't speak Welsh at all, can he? 29:39 He can't speak more Welsh than him. He can't speak Welsh. He's full of it. 29:41 Maybe that's what it is. Maybe he tells everyone. 29:43 That's what a property ping is. 29:44 What is it? It's a microwave. 29:46 I think it's bullshit. I think it's bullshit. 29:47 I think that one's a piss take one that people have invented. That's just sort of stuck. Yeah, I think it's one 29:52 Yeah, so there we go. Yeah, so I mean we've got we've got really really inappropriate 29:59 So that's what happens when you get bored on these sets. Yeah, that's what happens 30:02 So good again, don't judge Rosie and me in the same breath 30:17 Now accents good 30:18 thing I've ever done in my life that I did the other day which I think is really I did it and I knew 30:25 as I was doing it I was like this is so fucking weird but I did it anyway it's not that bad like 30:30 it's not it's not no one saw it no one would have to hear it unless I said it um so I got to 30:36 Stockton to do a gig the other night and um I wear uh I wear these quite comfortable chinos to 30:42 to travel in right quite comfortable chinos yeah but they're old they mean 30:48 old Levi chinos i've had them for a while they're black but the fucking 30:51 knees are like did you finally throw away those 30:54 jean shorts i did throw away jean shorts yes 30:58 i regretted it but i did throw away some jean shorts 31:01 i'll stop wearing the jean shorts this summer did not see the jean yeah i thought 31:05 do you know what i i thought i hadn't seen them they are horrible 31:10 They're horrible. 31:11 They're gone now, so fucking drop it. 31:12 So I've got these chinos on, right? 31:16 And they're like, they're so, I've worn them so much 31:19 that they sort of almost hang a bit low now. 31:22 The green ones. 31:22 No, I've got three pairs of the green ones. 31:24 I've got one pair of the black ones. 31:25 The knees are a bit shiny on them, just off wearing them. 31:27 So, but sometimes to make them look a little bit cooler, 31:31 I've got a little turn up in them, right? 31:32 So you can say a little bit of ankle, 31:33 so they look like a little bit shorter. 31:35 So they look a bit like a little bit cooler. 31:36 A hot night, you can get a little bit. 31:38 Anyway, I got a Stockton and I took them off and a bit of gravel from our gravel 31:45 drive fell out of the turnip and obviously as I'd walked into the van when 31:49 Mick was picking us up a bit of gravel had gone in my pants and fell on to the 31:52 floor in the dressing room and I picked it up and I went oh that's a bit of 31:55 gravel from our drive I put it in my bag and I brought it back 32:08 I was like, oh, it's a, I've brought it all the way to stock and it's not, it'll not know where it is. Like, I put it in me bag. 32:16 You're right. 32:18 Okay, but it was in me, it was in me head on. I was on stage and I was like, I've got to remember to put that gravel back. And I go out the van and I went in the side pouch. It's like a backpack leave my backpack as well. I think the center is it actually. 32:28 Thank you. And leave my backpack and I put me hand in the side where the drinks pouch is and I put the bit of gravel at the bottom. I got it out. 32:34 and I just put it back in the drive. 32:35 You know, I'm all right with that. 32:37 I'm all right with that. 32:38 I paid for that gravel. 32:39 It's fucking expensive gravel, you know? 32:40 It is expensive. 32:41 If I did that every day, right? 32:43 If I turned up in a gig every day with gravel in me 32:45 and I got, I just left it there, 32:46 would have no gravel on the drive 32:47 by the end of the year. 32:50 That's crazy. 32:50 Deck it. 32:51 I just, I don't know, 32:53 I'm not judging you too much on that one 32:54 because I like, I'm a bit like that. 32:58 Like sometimes I think toys can talk and stuff. 33:00 Like we had, we had shit. 33:02 So yeah. 33:02 Just pour it home. 33:02 That's fine, we're these mates. 33:04 Yeah, it's from home. 33:05 Yeah, I kinda like that. 33:07 And what would you do with it? 33:08 What would you just chuck it out the van? 33:10 That's from our home. 33:11 Yeah, it's from our house. 33:12 It means a lot. 33:13 I'm glad you're on board with this. 33:14 I'm on board with that. 33:15 Good. 33:15 I am on board with that. 33:17 Let's bump. 33:17 Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. 33:19 It's time for Watch Your Beef. 33:20 Watch your beef, watch your beef. 33:22 Come on, let it all out, scream and shout. 33:26 Now, I've got a beef. 33:26 La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. 33:29 All right, I've got a beef this week, 33:30 But it's, I'll be honest with you, it's a wet, wet beef, 33:34 soppy, soppy beef, beef, wet beef, sloppy, wet beef. 33:37 Better not be about that beef that I cooked yesterday 33:39 for the dinner that was- 33:40 Oh, it was a lovely beef. 33:40 I know, but it was a bit rare, wasn't it? 33:42 Yeah, but it was lovely. 33:42 Widely there. 33:44 No, I just wrote this down and you said you don't, 33:47 you might not have a beef with me. 33:48 I haven't got one, babe, like literally. 33:49 I haven't seen each other. 33:50 No, I haven't seen you, and yeah, and I love you. 33:53 Love you too. 33:54 So much more than anyone I've ever loved ever. 33:56 Me, yeah. 33:57 What are you else boyfriend that you had? 34:00 Yeah. No way. Yeah. All right, I don't. My beef with you. 34:04 Nostral Kariad Bind. Great. My beef with you is, when I tell you, you look gorgeous. 34:14 You keep rolling your eyes. Oh. Stop it and believe us. You're beautiful. 34:19 No, never. And that's my beef. I'm a softly, softly wet beef. 34:22 Horrible wench. Thank you. That's really sweet. And do you know what? I actually genuinely, 34:28 it's lovely when you tell us that I look nice. 34:30 And I know I roll my eyes, but it goes in there 34:33 so I really appreciate it. 34:34 Thank you so much. 34:36 Thank you, love you, that's really sweet. 34:39 Why are you being gross? 34:40 Why are you being nice? 34:41 What's happened? 34:42 What's happened? 34:43 Are you a bit... 34:43 I'm dying. 34:44 Are you having a little bit? 34:44 I'm dying. 34:46 Thanks, that's really sweet. 34:47 That's not a beef, that's nice. 34:49 Well, it's annoying when I'm like, 34:50 oh my God, you look gorgeous and you're like, 34:52 ah, I'm like, I don't feel it. 34:54 No, but it's like, sometimes I feel like 34:56 It was like the same reaction as if I went up and said it 34:58 with a fucking stranger in a supermarket. 35:00 How'd you see? 35:01 You look gorgeous. 35:02 Pepper spray. 35:02 You're one step away from pepper spray 35:04 and as when I tell you, you look gorgeous 35:05 and you need to stop it. 35:06 I just never feel it. 35:07 Well, you are. 35:07 Thank you though. 35:08 I appreciate that. 35:09 And I think you told us 35:10 after I'd just been plucking me moustaches. 35:14 Cause I haven't had a moustache. 35:16 No. 35:17 In certain light, in my mirror, 35:19 in my like, I've got a little mirror 35:20 which is like the, 35:21 This is embarrassing. 35:22 You're not talking about that moustache 35:24 that I drew on your mirror in Sharpie. 35:25 The black one, the curly one, the purple one. 35:27 I just drew it on, man. 35:28 It's not real. 35:29 How is this still in the top 10? 35:32 How, how, how, how? 35:38 Do you remember how too? 35:39 I do remember how too. 35:40 It was a brilliant program. 35:41 It was. 35:42 What was the catch for you, Steve Ange, before you? 35:45 Eh? 35:45 Oh, and that's how for now. 35:48 Fuck you. 35:48 Oh, it was as well. 35:49 Fuck you. 35:50 They definitely said fuck you at the end as well, 35:51 I remember. 35:52 Fuck you, that's how for now. 35:53 Fuck you. 35:54 Kids. 35:55 Babadoo babadoo babadoo bab. 35:56 It's time for Questions from the Public. 35:59 Questions from the public. 36:03 Bababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababa. 36:03 That's how for now, for now. 36:07 Let's not stop seeing the how for now, 36:08 we're gonna get sued. 36:10 Um, As always if we look at it. 36:11 What? 36:11 How to. 36:12 How to? 36:12 It's fantastic, as always if we want to get a touch 36:14 of Charg-Mauri noy.Gmail.com to send 36:17 a long form email or a story. 36:19 I was speaking to a lady, a nurse, 36:21 outside of the gig, in Manchester. 36:23 I'm sorry, I had to cut your short. 36:25 You start trying to tell the stories 36:26 but I had to go to Toshum with Carl. 36:28 You've seen how he gets with Toshum. 36:29 You've seen on my Instagram. 36:30 You said you were gonna email them in. 36:31 Please do email them in. 36:32 She said, some of them were too dark for the pod. 36:34 I said, look, Rosie loves stuff like that. 36:36 How could it be too dark for this? 36:37 Rosie loves stuff like that. 36:39 Yeah. 36:39 And if you wanna send a voice note 36:41 which we absolutely love, 07874406650. 36:47 Never too dark for me. 36:49 Documentary recommendation. 36:50 I've just finished watching the documentary, 36:52 The woman who was never there and I actually think I'd watched I've seen I saw I read a synopsis of this 36:59 She'd pretended to be a survivor of 9 11 37:02 Fucking people are nuts 37:05 People are nuts 37:06 She had a full thing didn't she did interviews full stories and then people worked out that she wasn't even yeah 37:12 Why it's just somebody are so fucking desperate for attention and and also it usually stems back to spoil a little rich kid 37:19 right it it's usually very much well spoiled little rich girl just fucking 37:27 makes up shit crazy very interesting no and could you sleep at night I don't 37:33 know I don't know I mean I watch it I'm 100% watch it's really interesting the 37:38 the minds of powerful thing yeah mental health issues mental illnesses like an 37:44 upbringing has got a yeah you know but not that doesn't forgive what is done 37:48 But at the same time, I think when you're when you like we're 40 now. Yeah, 20 years ago 37:53 I'd be like now I kind of go 37:55 You do can't yeah, you do kind of get a bit of a thing. Yeah, yeah, actually well, it's like trolls. Yeah 38:01 Trolls online once, but if 10 years ago, I'd be like this fucking bitch, but now I'm kind of like what? 38:08 Susan what's going on? Yeah, what's happening? Are you okay? Yeah, do you know what I mean? 38:12 Yeah, yeah, right listen you get a bit more compassionate and a bit more of a sort of wider scope of things things on black and white 38:18 anymore when you get a bit older. 38:20 Oh, yeah. 38:21 They're not black and white anymore. 38:22 The older you get and having kids and just like, 38:24 it does change the way that you look at things. 38:27 And the more life experiences you get, I think, as well. 38:29 Yeah, but also, honestly. 38:31 And we look at, let's get some emails and judge. 38:33 Come on. Yeah, can't wait. 38:34 Hi, Rosy and Chris, hope you well. 38:36 Are you well? 38:37 Yeah, I'm good. 38:38 I mean, you've got a little bit of clear 38:39 and throat going on there. 38:40 Yeah, I've done it once, good. 38:41 I've been leaning away from the mic and doing it. 38:42 Something going on. 38:44 New name for the segment, 38:45 and this is actually quite good. 38:46 Okay, because I still haven't come up with one or this is the segment and things that people have said that you've overheard that you 38:52 Now see it all the time as a catchphrase. Yes. Yeah, can I propose? 38:57 overheard forever, sir 38:59 Sird he said 39:01 Forever sird. Oh, right. Okay. No 39:07 There's something there there's something there, but it needs workshopped 39:10 Yeah, they've M&M that but you know when M&M makes orange rhyme with stuff 39:13 But he's changes the pronunciation of the word which is great, but overheard and forever served now 39:19 pronunciation or pronunciation 39:26 Um, yeah, okay overheard right I'm gonna write okay 39:34 I'm still because I remember we thought would come up with a really good one 39:36 We're like yeah, and then we forgot it so we can't be that fucking good 39:39 I forgot it. So anyway, this section that we'd love. Yeah. Mine is main my husband were at the 39:44 cinema years ago, sitting next to an older couple. Okay. When the movie started, it came on with a 39:49 really loud noise, I guess to get your attention. Right. And the lady leaned across to her husband 39:54 and said, and that's why half the kids in Britain are deaf. It is now our go to whenever there 40:05 There was need for an exaggeration. 40:07 Completely made up fucking statistic. 40:09 That's why half the kids in Britain are dead. 40:12 Half? 40:12 Half the kids in Britain are dead. 40:15 Wow, that's fantastic. 40:17 Wow. 40:18 Hey God, bloody, they are. 40:20 Our rave and he's gluey, Jesus Christ. 40:23 And no, bless, he's a little hard, 40:25 but that telly, if he has that telly, 40:27 and you know the other day, 40:29 I was like, rave, can you turn the telly down? 40:30 He's like, I can't hear it on 10, mom. 40:32 And I was like, come on. 40:33 I know, he plays it loud, like he's a little glimmer. 40:40 Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. 40:45 Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks, and lists can easily begin to overrun 40:50 your life. 40:51 So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as a built-in 40:55 business partner can be a game changer. 40:58 For millions of businesses, that tool is Shopify. 41:01 Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all 41:07 e-commerce in the US, from household names like Gymshark, Rare Beauty and Heinz, to brands 41:14 just getting started. 41:15 Shopify has hundreds of ready-to-use templates that can help you build a beautiful online 41:20 store that matches your brand's style, and you can tackle all the important tasks 41:24 in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics and more. 41:28 No need to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. 41:34 And if people haven't heard about your brand, you can get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you, 41:39 with easy-to-run email and social media campaigns to reach customers wherever they're scrolling or strolling. 41:45 Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing 41:50 sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash realm go to 41:57 Shopify.com slash realm that's Shopify.com slash realm propel fitness 42:06 water with Gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates 42:11 better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back 42:15 to your best self what propels you propel with Gatorade electrolytes 42:22 Fall never arrives all at once. 42:25 Verse the air, then the light, 42:28 and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. 42:31 A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer. 42:35 An old cap finds a new scarf 42:38 because you don't simply step into the season. 42:41 You create it layer by layer 42:42 until it finally feels like fall. 42:46 Find fall your way at Ross. 42:51 Ba-ba-doo, ba-ba-doo, ba-ba-doo, ba. 42:53 There's another one here as well. 42:54 Okay. Hello, Chris and Rosie. Hope you're doing well. My partner and I are both international school teachers here in Bangkok. 43:01 I was sorry, just such a... If you'd have stopped at international, school teachers wouldn't have been the first thing I went to. I don't know why. 43:10 What would you have gone to? Spies was my first one. International Spies. And I thought, why would they be telling me that? 43:15 But just like international men of mystery. It was just international. 43:19 It was, yeah, in and out. I got so excited. I was like, oh, not that that's not cool. 43:24 That's fucking amazing. But yeah, just international school teachers. Okay, come on. 43:27 What I'm trying to say is, win me back. Okay. All right, then. We actually have something 43:32 me and my partner say that originated from one of the children in Bangkok. When the student 43:38 first transferred to the school, he had a bit of a friction with another classmate. 43:43 The other child came to complain to my partner about some bizarre comments he was making, 43:47 including a moment when he got annoyed and declared if I was at my school in 43:51 China punch him in the face this is the bit that's funny though naturally that 44:00 became our go-to 44:01 yeah I was at my school in China why why is he not punched him here because he's 44:06 all his mates are there he's gonna who knows I don't know back up I don't know 44:09 frightened over there he's on his own when he whenever either of us faces 44:13 even the slightest inconvenience our immediate reaction is if I was at my 44:22 I just love it's not even the thing that's funny it's just the way that people 44:27 integrate it into their life that's my catchphrase I'm having it and I love it 44:30 so much yeah I was at my school if I was at my school in China I punch them in 44:37 the face brilliant ones of these I know I love it 44:42 hi Rosie and Chris long time listen our first time in email we are in the 44:46 US. But my best friend is British. And over the years, she's got me hooked on your podcast 44:51 and pretty much all things British. 44:52 Oh, wonderful. Thank you to your friend. That's amazing. 44:56 About 15 years ago, she worked at a botanical garden here that sent out a member survey. 45:02 So it's in England, I guess. Most of the feedback was what you'd expect, more benches, 45:06 better parking, et cetera, et cetera. But one member wrote in, Can we please have 45:11 a child-free day, little bastards ruin everything. 45:15 Ah, okay, yeah, wow. 45:17 We've been quoting it ever since, 45:19 especially now that we have our own kids. 45:21 Imagine that, aww. 45:24 A child-free day at the botanical garden. 45:26 You turn up with your kids. 45:28 Sorry, it's the child-free day today. 45:30 Some people really hate kids, don't they? 45:32 Yeah, I get it. 45:33 I was like, those were them old twats. 45:36 Yeah, when we went to the, on a castle. 45:37 That's really turned, hasn't it? 45:39 Because when we first spoke about that, 45:40 in the summer we were like people have an elder now I'm like old twat they were horrible they stopped 45:46 our kids from playing a proper game of the bloody lawn bean bags we had to play a half of the lawn 45:52 bean bag game because a collection of fucking octogenarians wanted to play it vile vile 46:00 hello Chris and Rosie I have discovered a new egg within my relationship and I would love 46:06 to know your thoughts. 46:07 Yes, always ready to judge me. 46:09 Rosie, I think you might be on board with this 46:11 as I may have found a hobby even more icky 46:14 than Cuddle Club. 46:16 Which you haven't been to for a while, even me mom. 46:18 Yeah, so I haven't been to, you know what it is? 46:22 I stopped, I injured myself just before the summer holidays 46:27 so I didn't do it for a bit. 46:28 And then in the summer holidays, 46:29 it was tough to get to go there 46:31 because we had the kids and stuff 46:32 and then on, like there were they every day that off 46:34 And then on any on any sunny day, I was like, well, I'll go and do that or go and play golf because it's a sunny day 46:40 Yeah, well, why don't you just do golf in the summer? Well now that I'm on tour again 46:45 I'm it's this is the time of year when everyone gets colds and flus and stuff 46:48 So I don't don't want to turn up with you. Oh, you did. I did last year 46:52 I turned up with gigs ill because I was doing jiu-jitsu every single day there and also I'm gonna be honest with you 46:58 I'm feeling 46:59 Me age slightly if I go and do an hour of fucking fighting 47:03 and going and doing a show on a night 47:05 is the last thing I want to do. 47:06 I can barely pick the kids up from school. 47:08 Right, well, you finish, go back after Christmas. 47:10 As soon as I finish the tour in January, 47:11 I'm going to bang back. 47:12 Because it is good for you. 47:13 It's good for my mental health. 47:14 I love it. It's so amazing. 47:15 I want to get my purple belt. 47:15 I want to get my brown belt. 47:18 I want it one day, hopefully, you know. 47:19 It's good for your... 47:20 Don't say it aloud with the final belt. 47:21 It's good for your anxious mind. 47:23 And I think I can tell when you've been 47:24 and you're actually better. 47:26 So I would say keep it up, but let's not... 47:28 It's just not a practical thing to do 47:30 when you've got a massive UK tour on that. 47:32 No, absolutely not. You can break your leg. 47:34 I got injured on the last... When I went on the last... 47:36 I used to go during the day while I was around the place on the last day. 47:38 I got injured one day and I had to go on stage on the night and I was like, 47:41 I'm fucking hurting. 47:41 When you pretend to not be hurt. 47:44 And months later, I tell you, because I'm just stoic. 47:46 I just, you know, I'm just a guy, just one of those guys head down. 47:49 Just get on with it. A very rarely moan, you know, just... 47:52 Wow. 47:58 Recently, this is from the person sending this in, 48:00 I have re-entered the hell and horror of online dating. 48:03 I know, which as you can imagine is full of walking talking x one day 48:08 I was scrolling through and matched with this guy we started to chat and things 48:12 were going well he had good chat and a nice energy that's good he invited me 48:17 for a coffee and we exchanged social media num social media sorry numbers 48:21 etc so we could continue chatting and arrange a date when I added this guy 48:26 Instagram I noticed some pictures of him playing sport playing sport like a sport 48:33 I clicked on the post to have a closer look to see what this man plays do you 48:37 want to guess play so picked right okay so pictures of him playing sports so I'm 48:42 guessing there's some kind of equipment involved or a or a racket it can't be 48:48 it can't be paddle ball it can't be paddle can it because everyone's 48:50 absolutely bumming the fucking head off paddle at the minute it can't be 48:53 paddle. Is it paddle? It's not paddle. It's not paddle. I was going to say because paddle's quite cool. 48:58 Ish. Is it? And this is a ridiculous guess. You're going to get it. Don't even guess. Can I just 49:05 tell you? No, I want to get it. I want to try and get it. Is it that weird one where it's like a 49:09 squash court but they've got them big massive things on their arms and they throw the ball at 49:13 like 200 mile an hour? Huh? Oh, it's not that one. No, it might be. What is it? It's 49:27 No, I can't remember what the thing was on our thing if you've not seen it 49:30 They've got like yes the big hooked yeah wicker things on that and they go like fucking run the the ball can actually kill you if it 49:37 Hits you that's not that but you see play leaps Saturday 49:42 Dodgeball dodgeball 49:43 grown man being pelted in the face by foam balls 49:47 And I'm guessing that put her off. Oh him. Sorry. I don't know what the sex 49:52 love it, I just, again, it just made, I love it. 49:56 The maker's so happy because one thing that someone is, 50:00 it's so different than someone else. 50:02 And it can just, it's. 50:03 No, that's a relationship thing for me personally. 50:06 If I met someone that have to be lush 50:09 to be like, I play dodgeball and I go, 50:10 all right, well, I can get on board with that. 50:12 My team's third in the league. 50:13 Because he dropped out gorgeous. 50:14 But that's, I feel like that's it. 50:16 We've been together for six years. 50:18 I'm going to start dodgeball. 50:19 Yeah, yeah. 50:20 But we're too far in now. 50:21 Yeah, I don't you mean. Yeah, we've got a kid again. I've got a mortgage. We've got mortgage and he's playing dodgeball 50:26 You don't see any women doing dodgeball. Yeah 50:28 You will you will I'm sure you don't women do Iggy stuff. I really don't 50:36 What's an Iggy thing that I do this feels like a trap come on 50:46 Run a mile 50:54 Yeah, but I mean, all right, sorry, can we all just take a moment? I don't think women do itty 51:00 stuff. What would I do? First thing I say, yeah, ticky, boom, slam dunk. How I'm sorry. What are 51:06 the fears grown adults on stage singing chitty, chitty bang bang with colored flags? You think 51:10 that's a good idea. Well, fair enough. I know you totally right. I mean, you could say my 51:17 dress and gowns are a bit eggy. I love a dress and gown. Like no, you're comfortable. No, 51:22 No, I know, but I like cuddle. 51:24 I like took my socks in my drama, isn't that? 51:25 That could be considered as eggy. 51:28 Kind of, yeah, I know what you mean, but like, come on. 51:32 Nah, I think we're far too far into that. 51:34 You know, you're just like, if you come for you, 51:36 I know you do. 51:37 I'd rather you had your dressing gown 51:39 and your socks tucked in your dressing gown 51:41 and all that stuff, nice and warm, 51:42 than have the fucking heating on full pelt 51:44 and I'm sitting there in my underpants dying. 51:46 At least you take it upon yourself 51:47 to sort your own little. 51:48 It's coming soon, you're gonna have to get on board. 51:50 My mom has already commented about it being cold in the morning when she's getting downstairs 51:55 I've smashed the boiler up and you can't get to the boiler because you got all that shit from the two 51:58 That's in the thing you can't get to it. So you got no chance hot water works, but heating I fucking I've sabotaged it 52:04 You got no chance 52:06 No chance if I haven't I'm joking 52:08 We fall out every year you know guys every single year we fall out over the heating 52:13 Yeah, I might get you a little I don't know some kind of little heated backpack that you can just wear 52:17 It just keeps you hot I might get you some kind of like a you know I guess like a stab vest 52:23 I like a bulletproof vest where they put the bits of Kevlar in there 52:26 I'm gonna get your best vest front and back that you can just drop a hot water bottle 52:29 You can't actually get them you can't actually buy them so right well okay well I don't have to get me some machine out 52:35 Then I'll just buy one great there we go 52:38 I've got like a little bag one 52:40 I'll get a little hot cape little hot hat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to get it back in here 52:45 I mean, let you blanket, can't wait. 52:48 Awesome. 52:49 Ba ba do ba ba do ba ba do ba. 52:51 Thank you so much for listening and watching, Chad Murray Danoy, we have been Rosie Ramsey 52:58 and Chris Ramsey. 53:03 No preparation, no thought, just like that sounded like this is some kind of school production. 53:12 Like we've got the cameras out, fucking hell guys, thank you so much for listening to 53:16 this absolute bomb. 53:17 Do you want to do it again? 53:18 No, no, it's got to stay in because it's authentic. 53:20 It's authentic bollocks. 53:21 If you want to get into a chagmari.gmail.com, if you want a voice note, 07874-406650, Rosie 53:28 forgot to read them out today. 53:29 Happy days. 53:30 But it's all good. 53:30 She also kicked the camera. 53:32 So yeah. 53:33 Happy days. 53:34 Back in the years next week.
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