Episode 137: Demystifying Kink and BDSM

Most of us have had a kinky fantasy at some point in our lives, and many of us have actual experience with kink in the bedroom as well. In fact, nationally representative US surveys find that at least one-third of adults have engaged in some kind of BDSM. However, despite how common kink and BDSM are, myths and misconceptions abound. So let’s talk about kink! I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani recently published a sequel to this book called Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from The Leather Chair. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term “kink” actually mean? Why obsessing over the origins of kink can be problematic. What’s the connection between kink and sex? Is BDSM always sexual? What to do when your sexual fantasies and desires conflict with your political values. The kink spectrum: from dark and brooding to fun, playful, and silly. What counts as fetishization, and when does it cross a line? Common things people get wrong about kink and BDSM. Thanks to the Scarlet Society (scarletsociety.com) and Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode! The Scarlet Society is here to help you explore what it is that brings you pleasure and cultivate the relationships you deserve. It’s your new home for trusted resources aimed at helping women navigate sex and love after age 40. Visit scarletsociety.com to learn more and liberate your sexuality. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to explore programs and certifications in sex therapy and education. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.