Leave Hank Alone

SIX stories this week! Lynze switches it up with four shorter tales after Dan's usual two. We’ll head to Malvern Manor, set in the little town of Malvern, Iowa.Paranormal investigators and the supernaturally curious alike keep traveling to Malvern to explore claims of disembodied voices, pounding footsteps, things that move when no one’s touching them, the unmistakable sensation of a cold hand pressing into your back and Hank’s room. The most infamous space in the whole place. Then we’ll head to China, to hear an old story about an exceptionally beautiful woman who turns out not be a woman at all. While most people dismiss it as folklore, there are whispers that she’s real, that she’s still out there… Lynze then shares a fun story of two young girls giving commands to a ghost who obliges. The, a strange floating light is confirmed to be more than just a trick of the imagination. Third, a girl sees her sister playing where should she not be. Is it really her sister? Lastly, two young boys see and hear a woman in white before she disappears into thin air! 

Wet Hot Bad Magic Summer Camp 2026: Next week we will be bringing you the details for WHBMSC 2026! 

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Opening Sumerian protection spell (adapted):

"Whether thou art a ghost that hath come from the earth, or a phantom of night that hath no home… or one that lieth dead in the desert… or a ghost unburied… or a demon or a ghoul… Whatever thou be until thou art removed… thou shalt find here no water to drink… Thou shalt not stretch forth thy hand to our own… Into our house enter thou not. Through our fence, breakthrough thou not… we are protected though we may be frightened. Our life you may not steal, though we may feel SCARED TO DEATH."

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