Zero Percent: Dead Dogs, Trump Jokes, and Email to Dying Father" The week in Royal news with Mark Francis

Harry's Colbert appearance crashes spectacularly—audience BOOS him after Trump "elected a king" joke. PR expert: "The jokes land like a man reminding you of punchline that expired three years ago." Deep Crown: "There's a desperation now that wasn't there even a year ago. He's become a man arguing with institution that's simply moved on without him." Meghan's Netflix holiday special opens to ZERO PERCENT on Rotten Tomatoes—critics call it "unfathomable," "quite mad and a little bit sad," Daily Mail awards zero stars citing viewers saw dead dog Guy (died January 2025) proving show filmed last year, not this season as claimed. Tom Sykes: "The message is 'we are done' and the medium is a passing shot of her elderly beagle padding mournfully through frame like ghost of contracts past."

Thomas Markle saga deepens—Meghan's "outreach" was EMAIL to address he hasn't checked in five years. Hospitals confirm no calls received. Samantha tweets: "Houston, there's been no contact. Time to stop the PR BS." Express: "She didn't do what any normal person would do and give her dad a call—that would mean she'd actually have to speak to him." Kate hosts 1,600 guests at Westminster Abbey for carol concert celebrating "love in all its forms"—William delivers Bible reading, Kate Winslet performs, contrast with Meghan's 0% disaster couldn't be starker. Andrew attends granddaughter's christening—first royal event since title stripping, arrives alone.

British Vogue names Kate to "Eternal Influencers" list—Meghan conspicuously absent despite Paris Fashion Week push. William knights Roger Daltrey, serves Christmas dinner to Welsh Guards. Royal Mews relocating from Buckingham Palace to Windsor—monarchy's center of gravity shifting. Plus: Zero phone calls to dying father, zero self-awareness, and the week the numbers told the story.

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Palace Intrigue is a daily British royal family podcast covering King Charles, Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Kate Middleton and the House of Windsor. New episodes every day. Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Part of the Caloroga Media network.

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