Limerence

Why does falling for someone so often feel like a painful obsession? In episode 144 of Overthink, Ellie and David discuss the unspoken difficulties of limerence, or the state of falling in love. What is the difference between love and limerence, and why do we confuse them so frequently? How does social media fuel limerent reactions? And is limerence inherently selfish? They discuss how limerence can be formative to our personal identities, whether a limerent object has ethical obligations to those who obsess over them, and how modern dating norms might direct us all towards limerence rather than love. In the Substack bonus segment, your hosts get into the relationship between self-worth and limerence and whether it’s possible to have reciprocal limerence.

Works Discussed:

Tom Bellamy, Smitten: Romantic obsession, the neuroscience of limerence, and how to make love last

Stendhal, On Love

Dorothy Tennov, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-2019)

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