The Magellans on the Fast and Furious Franchise

Cars go vroom, explosions go boom. Such is the organizational motto, founding principle, and indeed core appeal of The Fast and the Furious, a wildly successful series of car crime movies which gradually devolved into Marvel without explicitly acknowledged superpowers. From a little movie about street racing and high speed heists based on a Vibe article to not so little movies about saving the world from a wide selection of vague macguffins, our central gang of lovable stereotypes have driven, flown, and fought across ELEVEN FREAKING MOVIES to the delight of audiences everywhere. It’s not international criminal masterminds they have to contend with now, though, nor declining box office performances, or even Vin Diesel and the Rock’s inability to play well with others. No, in their latest challenge Dom Toretto and his family must contend with the high standards and acerbic wit of Magellans at the Movies! You heard right, ladies and gentlemen, for our next special episode F&F know-nothings Nathan and Elliot have sacrificed their time and sanity to watch every mainline entry in this high octane saga, and they even watched the spinoff because they just like you that much. But will they be taken in by all the guns and the fighting and the shots of women’s behinds, or will they decide to spend what quarter miles they have left in their lives on other, better series? Hit the NOS and fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

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