Magellan (2025)

Fernão de Magalhães, or if you’re a lazy, uncultured American, Ferdinand Magellan. He probably isn’t a historical figure to whom you’ve dedicated much thought lately, or, you know, ever. Magalhães’s life and achievements may not make themselves felt in your day to day life, but there’s no denying he impacted history in a significant way. The benefits or harms of that impact, however, are, like literally everything else about history, the subject of impassioned debate. Hence Magellan, a 2025 historical epic directed by Lav Diaz, a man with some pretty strong opinions on this Portuguese navigator, opinions which he rendered across almost three hours of a movie that, if nothing else, is uncompromising in its vision. This laconic, lethargic tale of colonization and violation earned little in the way of cash or broad popular notice, but the reviews were strong and Nathan thought it would be funny to review a movie which kind of shares this program’s name. But will the movie successfully circumnavigate the globe of quality and arrive safely at home to a rapturous welcome, or will it take an arrow to the face from the enraged natives of boredom and self-righteousness? Unfurl the sails and embark with the second-most well known Magellans to find out!

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