Why knowing what’s “normal” at every stage transforms both your parenting and your teen’s high school transcript. Understanding human development helps homeschool moms set realistic expectations that transform how you experience every stage of parenting—and it all clicks for me when my cousin Vicki Tillman, coach, counselor and podcaster at the Homeschool High School podcast explains the intersection between human development and high school expectations. Understanding human development helps homeschool moms set realistic expectations that transform how you experience every stage of parenting—and it all clicks for me when my cousin Vicki Tillman, coach, counselor and podcaster at the Homeschool High School podcast explains the intersection between human development and high school expectations. As homeschool moms, we’re feet on the ground in the human development process every single day. And when we understand child development from an academic perspective, suddenly those “difficult” moments with our kids become fascinating glimpses into normal, healthy growth. And also, we have so much more patience! To top it off, this same knowledge can become one of the most valuable credits on your teen’s homeschool high school transcript—what Vicki calls a “sparkle credit” that colleges actually love to see. Why Human Development for Homeschool Moms Set Realistic Expectations Remember when your teenager suddenly started pushing back on everything? (Or maybe she wasn’t yet a teen, and she was 9!) She might have said that the curriculum she loved last year is now “boring.” Or maybe the readaloud traditions you love feel “childish” to her. Your first instinct might be to take it personally. But here’s what human development teaches us: this is individuation, and it’s exactly what’s supposed to happen. When teens start expressing individual ideas and pushing back against the status quo, they’re not being disrespectful—they’re preparing for adulthood. They’re learning to think independently and express themselves as unique individuals separate from their parents. And though I know it’s challenging and we need to lean into growing into a new phase of parenting with them, this is our sign that they’re growing up! As Vicki Tillman, Licensed Professional Counselor and founder of Seven Sisters Homeschool, explains: “If we know that’s normal, that teens are supposed to come up with ideas, individual ideas, individuating, then when they do that, we go, ‘Oh look, they’re preparing for adulthood’ rather than ‘Oh look, they’re being sassy and I need to squash that completely.'” When you understand human development, you can set realistic expectations instead of taking normal teenage behaviour as a personal attack. Realistic Expectations for Every Developmental Stage Human development gives us context for behaviour that might otherwise drive us up the wall: The five-year-old who insists they’re always right? That’s egocentrism—a normal cognitive stage where they literally can’t see things from another perspective yet. Understanding this helps you set realistic expectations for their empathy and reasoning abilities. The two-year-old’s constant “no”? That’s autonomy development—they’re learning they’re separate people with their own will. This isn’t defiance you need to crush; it’s identity formation you need to guide. The teenager standing in a thunderstorm because it’s fun? That’s logic development still in process. Even if you covered weather safety in your homeschool curriculum, their developing brain can let fun override logic in the moment. Your aging parents telling the same stories repeatedly? That’s the reflective phase of adult development—looking back to evaluate life’s meaning. (ps Can you tell my kids about this stage, because I’ve definitely been accused of being boring with my repeated stories;) When you know these stages, you can train and guide appropriately rather than constantly feeling frustrated by unrealistic expectations. My homeschool high school daughter on graduation day tossing her cap! Real-Life Example: Setting Realistic Expectations Through the Thunderstorm Story Vicki shared a perfect example from her own homeschool family that illustrates why understanding human development helps set realistic expectations. One rainy night, she drove up to pick her son up from choir practice. There was lightning, it was pouring, and there was one kid standing outside enjoying the storm— her kid. They’d just completed a weather unit. They’d covered thunderstorm safety. But in that moment, the logic of what he learned didn’t apply because the fun of being in the rain overrode everything else. “That was not a good decision
