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In Episode 17 of Fool Me Twice, hosts Bradford Oakes and Steve Van Aperen explore one of the most provocative and complex topics in modern relationships, cheating, deception, and the psychology that drives it.
The episode opens with the usual light-hearted banter between the hosts before quickly shifting into a deeper and more confronting conversation about infidelity. Bradford shares a personal story about being cheated on, highlighting the emotional impact and the lasting effect that betrayal can have. This leads into a broader discussion about trust, honesty, and the behaviours people exhibit when they are being deceptive.
Drawing from his professional experience, Steve explains that a significant portion of his work involves investigating allegations of cheating. He breaks down how lie detection works in practical terms, including the use of polygraph testing and newer technologies like EyeDetect. He explains that it is not necessarily the act of lying itself that is detected, but rather the psychological stress and fear of being caught that creates measurable physiological responses. He also touches on the importance of analysing clusters of behaviour rather than relying on a single sign of deception.
A major focus of the episode is the Ashley Madison data breach. The hosts revisit how the site, which was specifically designed to facilitate extramarital affairs, was hacked in 2015, exposing the personal details of millions of users across the world. They discuss the irony of a platform built on secrecy and deception being undone by its own lack of security and questionable practices, including the presence of fake profiles.
The fallout from the breach is explored in detail, from public shaming and damaged relationships to extortion attempts and widespread panic. Steve also shares firsthand insight into how the scandal led to a surge in people seeking lie detector tests after discovering their partner’s details linked to the site.
Throughout the episode, Bradford and Steve examine the concept of partial admissions, where individuals reveal only part of the truth as a way to minimise consequences. They also discuss the role of emotion in decision making, particularly how vulnerability and desire can make people more susceptible to manipulation and scams, especially in the world of online dating.
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