Criticism (Part 1 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman)

This is the start of a 4 part series of Amy and Kat unpacking Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Part 1 is Criticism, the one that often shows up first and sets the tone for conflict. Amy has her own issues with getting defensive and even gets her boyfriend on the phone to confirm. Kat explains why criticism is different from a simple complaint, how it sneaks in through exaggeration, “should” statements, jokes, and tone, and why it can actually be a clumsy bid for connection. You’ll learn Gottman’s antidote, the Gentle Start-Up, with clear “I feel / I need” examples to help you express concerns without blame. Whether you’re married, dating, or navigating family and friendships, this episode will help you spot criticism early and swap it for communication that keeps relationships strong.

Feeling of the Day: Angry (and Kat has every right to be!) 

Listen next week for: Defensiveness (Part 2 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman)

 

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Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy

Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen

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