Sex Cult Television - Now With 100% More Robot Breasts

On Today’s Episode: ✝️ The cult behind The Family International releases a wholesome children's puppet show featuring: A robot with real human-like breasts Children licking bloody wounds Puppet grandpas who enjoy "gifts" in the form of long mouth kisses Casual child fireplay and open invitations to spankings And yes… a sexbot serenade 🐭 Chuck E. Cheese commits wire fraud while still wearing the mouse head 🐊 A man goes full John Wick on an alligator who dared steal his fishing lure 🧠 The IQs drop to single digits as The Fresh and Fit podcast hosts try to Holocaust-splain 🚨 Police bodycam captures the arrest of a twitching meth mess who insists the cops "don’t have permission" to arrest her Distorted News Highlights: Florida Man strikes again—twice! First as Chuck E. Cheese, then with a vengeance-fueled golf club gator beatdown Teddy Roosevelt had a judo roommate? We look back on the original Florida Man in the White House 🎤 Listener Voicemails: The cult nostalgia train continues thanks to Haley’s Comet How many symbols can we cram on one pride flag? Should Tim legally change his name to Timmy Boo ? Spoiler: it’s financially negotiable One freak calls out the podcast industry’s Nazi grift economy 🎶 Musical Finale: As a special treat for today’s show sponsor Double D , we present Cortado del Trenta’s full-length cover of Sherebra Venti’s banger "Out Now" – a beautiful ballad of milky seed, roast beef sleeves, and pussy overheating like a '93 Corolla in August. Sponsor Shout-Out: A huge thanks to Double D for 17 years of DV loyalty! Sponsored segments and titty talk by listener request. Want your name (or an alias) featured on a future episode? PayPal Tim at [email protected] or paypal.me/distortedview. 💥 Join the Sideshow! Support DV and get access to exclusive episodes: 2 full-length Sideshow episodes each week 2 bonus segments Listener voicemails played FIRST 👉 Sign up at DistortedView.com or subscribe via Spotify/Apple Podcasts Closing Thoughts: If you’re not popping dogs in the ass, are you even a cop?