Semen Tainted Flutes Revisited

On Today’s Show: Alexis K. Tyler Claps Back : The queen of sexual wisdom tears into a critic with nipple-pulling, grease-rubbing fury. Musical Money Shots : A California music teacher accused of coating kids’ flutes with semen. (Yes, the instruments. Yes, the children played them.) Slip-Dick Legislation : Texas lawmakers try to ban your husband’s penis from accidentally “slipping” into the wrong hole. Sodomy laws meet laugh tracks. Bathroom AC Unit of Doom : Tim’s DIY air conditioning setup may cool him down—or electrocute him mid-shower. Clown Wars : Meet Lil Lunchbox, a positivity-spouting, slam-poetry clown who got into a brawl over butchering Linkin Park karaoke. Florida Woman Rage : A 65-year-old hurls glass bowls and slices up a boyfriend’s body pillow during post-wine intimacy. Head Trauma Girl : After a car accident, an 8-year-old can only communicate through fart-related vocabulary. (“I farted.”) French Gooner on a Train : Woman films a 75-minute public masturbation session, only to risk facing harsher penalties than the jerker himself. The Dildo Diaries and Texas’ absurd “six-dildo limit” “Constructive touching” explained in the worst way possible Dr. Leonard’s catalog massagers (a.k.a. grandma’s vibrators) Voicemails about foreskin bragging rights, cheese buildup, and the Church of Debra Plus: The Dildo Diaries and Texas’ absurd “six-dildo limit” “Constructive touching” explained in the worst way possible Dr. Leonard’s catalog massagers (a.k.a. grandma’s vibrators) Voicemails about foreskin bragging rights, cheese buildup, and the Church of Debra