SISL9 – I’ll Try, but Nothing Will Come of It – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

I’ll Try, but Nothing Will Come of It – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V. Fr. Timothy Gallagher reflects on a story about Bob, a husband and father who becomes discouraged after unintentionally hurting his wife during a disagreement about their son. Although Bob has been growing in faith through a men’s formation group and regular prayer, the unresolved tension at home leaves him vulnerable to discouraging thoughts: that he is failing as a husband, that his efforts at prayer are pointless, and that he will never really change. These thoughts begin to affect his actions—he skips his group meetings and sometimes abandons prayer. Fr. Gallagher explains that this pattern reflects what St. Ignatius of Loyola calls spiritual desolation, where discouraging lies foster a loss of hope and attempt to convince someone that growth is impossible. The key step is recognizing these thoughts as false and refusing to let them dictate decisions, especially during periods of discouragement. Through gentle questions, Fr. Reed helps Bob see the truth already present in his heart: he loves his wife and children, values prayer, and finds real help in his faith community. Once Bob sees the contradiction between these realities and the discouraging thoughts, the confusion lifts. The experience strengthens his resolve to remain faithful to prayer and community support even when discouragement appears again. Sharing openly with his wife and staying connected with others—such as friends, spiritual directors, or prayer groups—creates a safeguard against isolation. Growth in closeness to God deepens human relationships as well, allowing love within marriage, friendship, and community to grow through the grace received in the spiritual life. You can pick up a copy of the book here. Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

1. When discouraging thoughts arise about your spiritual life or vocation, how can you pause and examine whether they reflect the truth of your heart?
2. Have you ever experienced thoughts that tell you your efforts in prayer or holiness will never lead to real change?
3. In what ways might discouragement be influencing your decisions about prayer, spiritual commitments, or participation in faith communities?
4. How can remembering your love for God and others help you see through thoughts that claim you are failing spiritually?
5. Who in your life could accompany you when you are struggling—such as a spouse, friend, confessor, or spiritual director?
6. How might sharing your spiritual struggles with someone you trust bring clarity and renewed hope?
7. What practices or commitments in your spiritual life have brought genuine growth that discouragement tries to make you forget?
8. How can you prepare now for moments of spiritual discouragement so that you remain faithful when they come?
9. In your vocation—marriage, family life, or community—how can honest spiritual conversations strengthen your relationships?
10. How does growing closer to God help you love the people in your life more deeply and faithfully?

An excerpt from the chapter, "I’ll Try, but Nothing Will Come of It": "With Father Reed’s help, Bob recognizes a tactic of the enemy, another form of spiritual desolation. Ignatius describes this as “lack of hope.” When we experience this form of desolation, our thoughts are like Bob’s: we lose hope of any real progress in loving God, in prayer, in holiness, and in living our vocation well. If we think like this, we will be tempted, like Bob, to give up — precisely the enemy’s goal. All of this is a lie! If ever you feel “defeated before you begin” in your spiritual life, recognize the lie of the enemy and reject it. Do not relinquish your efforts to grow spiritually. God’s love and the power of his grace are with you in these efforts. Compared with this, the...