104: Why Some Families Push You Out and Never Let You Back In | Live Callers

Most people assume that if they just explain the situation clearly enough, their parent will finally see what they see. Dr. Lisle says that's the single biggest miscalculation adult children make. Your mother is running a completely different cost-benefit analysis than you are, and the thing you call a crisis she calls a reasonable tradeoff.

In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle takes two family dynamics calls that converge on the same evolutionary machinery. Kara calls from Las Vegas about her 70-year-old mother in Singapore, a hoarder sister, and a cluttered flat nobody will fix. Kathy returns to close an open loop on why her mother turned cold after her father died. Dr. Lisle unpacks the egocentric bias, cost-benefit analysis as the top quark of human behavior, Hamilton's rule, the blue-footed booby guano ring, and his concept of fade to black.

Key question covered: Why doesn't my mother see the problem in her life the way I see it, and what should I do about a parent who clearly doesn't want a close relationship with me?

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Dr. Nathan Gershfeld, DC.

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

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Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

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Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast