Wife Explains Romantasy Books: Women, We Need to Talk

In this episode, the hosts dive into the spicy topic of contemporary female-focused romance literature. They dissect several popular fantasy books like 'A Court of Thorns and Roses,' 'Trial of the Sun Queen,' and others, revealing recurring themes of 'mate bonds,' dominantly possessive men, and the normalization of toxic female behavior. Through detailed analysis, they uncover how these stories reflect modern women's struggles with dating, promiscuity, and the evolving norms of relationships. The hosts question the psychological impact of these narratives and critique their perpetuation of unhealthy relational dynamics and unrealistic romantic fantasies.

Malcolm Collins: Hello Simone.

I'm excited to be here with you today. Today we here are going to be discussing a spicy topic. In a recent episode we were talking about the de botched things that women read in their fantasy literature. And I was talking to you this morning about it and you were going over them and you were like, no, that is like.

You listen to this and, and when I heard about the stuff, it's bad. No, were listening to when it is explained to me by my quote unquote trad wife, I guess is what the media calls you. What is in these fantasy books? I, I am like

In one hour on six Ed World?

Malcolm Collins: I I, yeah. But then it got worse.

Mm-hmm. Because I start doing like, I wanna understand if this stuff that you're telling me is accurate, I want to go into this so I start, right?

'cause I'm

Simone Collins: sure you thought I was crazy. It couldn't possibly be that, no, that these are bestselling very popular

Malcolm Collins: books than what you said. Because I start going into all of this and I get summaries of the books, and I get summaries of all these plot points. And it keeps, and there's this, this phrase that keeps coming up.

I mean, and I'm talking across books here. It was like, well, X was mated to X or X was bound to y. And I was like,

what the hell is wrong with you people?

Malcolm Collins: what is this?

She's mated thing I haven't heard. And I go to my wife about this. Okay. And you're like. I don't, I Wait, what? I haven't read anything about this weird kinky mated thing, so I ask because the first one that you talked about was the court of thorns and roses.

Yeah. And here's what AI had to say about that. Okay. It said, yes, the mate Mont Trope is 100% in a Court of Thorns and Roses series. It is, and it's arguably the series, is it mainstream to kink into modern Romantic. So you are like, I don't even remember it from my, in my

Simone Collins: defense, I use these as pregnancy sage, Xanax.

The reason I listen to romantic books is they are so bad and so poorly written that they literally put me to sleep. Like I used to listen to really dry history books to fall asleep. And now I'm like, oh, but I need to know what happened.

Malcolm Collins: No, I, I read it for the plot. That's why I have, you know, you know, I I completely agree with you.

I do not engage in any of this for, for, for anything other than just the articles. Is that your version of, I read it for the, for the articles, the play, you know, that's what they used to say about Playboy, right?

Simone Collins: No, no, because the plot's not good. The and, and here, like my problem is I really hate the female characters and I really hate what they normalize in terms of like, this is normal relationship behavior.

If you're a woman, and I can get into this too,

Malcolm Collins: because there's, oh, we're gonna get into this, we're gonna get into each of these, but I wanted to start with this mate bonding trope, because I found this really interesting. Okay. And I think it's important to note here because and we're gonna go over all the stories it's in, in just a second because it has become so ubiquitous in female focused romance literature.

The. For example, you didn't even notice when it was in a story, and yet it is, if you're talking like Omega verse, you can see our omega verse episode. Oh. Where people are like, it is closer to the Omega verse than it is to real life. It is definitely a really fairly bizarre kink. And it's interesting to study because it shows something that modern women are not finding in society today.

Well, here,

Simone Collins: no, here's, here's my thing. I don't think it's bizarre. I think it's an answer to larger normalization of female promiscuity. So if you can no longer have like, your one true love that you meet, like out of adolescence and you lose your virginity with them, or like they're your very first, like second maybe.

Right? You know, and then that's, that's it. That's your true love. You met your person. There has to be some other mechanism, some other, you know, physics have to be at play to explain why the, the, the, the. Bond being described in the romance novel is meaningful 'cause otherwise it's just another rung on the ladder.

Does that make sense?

Malcolm Collins: I disagree Really. And we'll go into this a little bit. Yeah. So first, what is it, because people may not know. So, mate, bonds occur in these stories. It is a magical or biological or faded connection between two characters, usually male and female.

Simone Collins: Mm-hmm.

Malcolm Collins: It is irresistible, it is permanent, it is non-consensual.

It's often physically overwhelming or arousal leaked.

Simone Collins: Mm-hmm.

Malcolm Collins: And it is tied to something like Destiny or something like that. Basically it's not a choice. So if we're talking about the first story that we're gonna be looking at, which is Court of Thrones and whatever th thorns and roses Frey realizes that she's mated, toand, FARA.

FAA realizes she's sorry. You. Oh, you actually, you actually, I've listened

Simone Collins: to them as audiobooks to fall asleep, so I know how the names are pronounced.

Malcolm Collins: Okay. Okay. FAA realizes she's M it to Rand and is physically and emotionally pulled to him despite being in another relationship. Oh, sand. Oh. Oh. I can't, I can't choose my partner.

I'm, I know I'm dating someone, but I just have to mate. With this other person. And then betray my former lover because I'm just so mated now. Or another one, the, the fourth wing violet and Zayden share a dragon forged bond.

Simone Collins: Ooh. Wait, does the dragon do it to them as a dragon like cupid, where he just like, well,

Malcolm Collins: we'll get into it.

We'll get a trial of the sun Queen Laura is claimed as a potential mate by multiple kings who treat her as magical property. But she's

Simone Collins: bonded to nadir this dark aurora prince

bonded.

Malcolm Collins: Okay.

Simone Collins: Yeah. Okay.

You are into this. No, I was talking, I was telling you how, like they were describing the bonding is like, you feel the magic under your skin.

Like, it, it's, ugh. I really, I really hate it, but like, I. No, I, I really, I, I think you're missing it because the, what you're missing in these, okay, go ahead.

Malcolm Collins: Hold on. I will, I will go and then you can provide the counter argument. Okay. Yes. So we'll give some theories about what might be causing it. Then I'm gonna give my theory and then you can give your theory.

Okay. All right. All right. All right. Psychological safety and submission. The mate bond removes the burden of choosing a partner. It t