The 1 Time a Year I Am Allowed to be Honest With My Wife

In this heartwarming and personal episode, Malcolm and Simone celebrate their 7th anniversary by revisiting Malcolm's annual Facebook posts professing his love and admiration for his wife. Despite Simone's usual rule against public gushing, she allows Malcolm to share these touching tributes on their special day.

Malcolm reads aloud his posts from years past, describing Simone's superhuman work ethic, emotional self-control, methodical approach to life, and unwavering dedication to their shared goals. He marvels at her ability to continuously improve herself and push him to be a better person, even going so far as to jokingly suggest she should become the "iron-fisted empress of a world-spanning empire."

Simone reacts to each post with a mix of embarrassment and gratitude, emphasizing the importance of complementary skill sets in a successful relationship. She shares her own admiration for Malcolm's visionary thinking, creativity, and ability to make her childhood dreams come true.

The couple also delves into the story of their engagement, with Malcolm revealing the challenges of hiding the ring and surprising Simone, who remained blissfully unaware of his plans. They remind viewers of the importance of proposing privately before any public gestures to avoid emotional blackmail.

Throughout the episode, Malcolm and Simone reflect on the depth of their connection, their unwavering commitment to each other, and the joy they find in their partnership. They even discuss hypothetical scenarios of remarriage in the event of one's untimely death, showcasing their pragmatic approach to love and family.

Join Malcolm and Simone as they celebrate their extraordinary bond, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into building a lasting, supportive, and deeply fulfilling relationship.

Simone Collins: [00:00:00] I'm not done. Oh God, don't do this to

Malcolm Collins: me. Which means I have an excuse to talk about how amazing she is. Oh boy. She has a strict rule against me gushing about her online under normal circumstances. I genuinely believe my wife is a penultimate manifestation of the human condition.

It is simply impossible for her to be better than she already is. She works without expectation of praise or reward. So long as it benefits our longterm goals. After all these years, she is still genuinely surprised when I voiced my appreciation for her contributions. The other day, I wanted to get her a treat so she could relax for half an hour, and she requested a pedicure, which I later learned she requested so she could keep typing.

Will you marry me?

Cool. I got you!. [00:01:00] One.

I'm gonna marry you! And I'm gonna have a child, I'm gonna love having you!

Would you like to know more?

Simone Collins: Can I start with a like public service announcement slash rant?

Yes. Okay. I've frequently heard about drama in couples resulting from someone forgetting someone else's birthday or the couple's anniversary or some important date when this, like one of the partners expected to be celebrated or given a gift or something of that sort. And the other partner, typically because they had much better things to do, or just honestly, they don't personally value that, you know, just didn't, didn't do the thing.

And I always found that to be really odd because if you want something, then you have to do it, that's your responsibility. So either partners have to say, okay, here's a really important thing. You ha I expect you to throw me a surprise party. Like, okay. It takes the romance out of it, whatever. Right.

But like, If that's what you want, you need to fricking communicate it. [00:02:00] You know what I mean? Obviously there are some spouses who just like doing stuff like that and they may do it and it all works out and you don't have to ask them, but like, if this is not natural to a partner, you have to do it. And I love the way we do it.

Can I describe how we do? Okay. We well, okay. I, I do all the logistics in the family. So I. Just keep everything in my calendar and I will just tell Malcolm and typically we won't do anything like our anniversary just was on Monday two days ago and I was just like, Oh, it's, it's our anniversary today.

And we talked about it a little bit, but we didn't get each other gifts or cards or flowers or anything because we've better s**t to do. We're very busy. We're trying to save the world

Malcolm Collins: here. People there's chasing us. We don't have time for flowers this morning. You were commenting, we went to Trader Joe's and you were like, why are there always people buying flowers at Trader Joe's?

Like who can afford this romantic

Simone Collins: expense? Yeah. And every time we go to Trader Joe's, someone is buying flowers and I do not get it. I mean, obviously there's a bouquet of flowers behind me, but I [00:03:00] picked that with the kids out in our yard because you, romantically Malcolm planted flowers. You did the whole thing of don't catch a fish for a man, teach 'em to fish, and you just planted

Malcolm Collins: flowers.

I planted daffodils all over our property. I got what, like a giant sack of them, like I was like 50 or something. Mm-Hmm. . So know I've been free flowers. There are Zs everywhere, all over the place.

Simone Collins: So, but what we do is, is I, for major holidays birthdays and. Or the things like Christmas or future day I will just, I create a budget and I have everyone pays exactly the same amount and I buy the gifts.

So when your birthday rolls around, I buy you gifts. And then when my birthday rolls around, I buy myself gifts from you, which you pay for from your discretionary income, but in exactly the same monetary amount as your gifts. So no one ever spends more than anyone else. The same goes for our children.

Each child Gets gifts in exactly the same monetary amount. You and I get Christmas gifts and exactly the same monetary amount. And we budget for various people in [00:04:00] our lives. So we want to send gifts to, we have a budget for that every month and that's it. And, and it's like, I handle it because I'm the one who kind of enjoys that more and watches the calendar more and that's fine.

And it actually is really fun because then you also seem to really enjoy seeing what you got me because it's a surprise. And I really like what I got me because I know I like it. So everyone wins. And I'm just saying, I love the

Malcolm Collins: people who like follow the prenatalist movement. And they're like, I am so afraid of you guys breaking up because it would be such a damaging thing to the movement.

Some people have talked to me about this and it's, it's actually, you know, I understand the fear. I see a lot of our friend group is, is going through divorces and stuff like that these days. And I say this all with the caveat that I'm about to undertake the one thing I'm not allowed to do in our marriage.

I'm pretty much allowed to do whatever I want, but only on anniversaries do I really get an excuse to unequivocally praise my wife. Oh, I

Simone Collins: thought you were gonna say you're allowed to do everything you want, except you're not allowed to get married. Fat per our fat class.

Malcolm Collins: Oh, well, that's, that's [00:05:00] true. But I don't want

Simone Collins: to be like, Oh

Malcolm Collins: my God, I want to do.

And so, you know, Facebook recommends old posts and recently it's been recommending my one day a year when I'm allowed to praise my wife on our anniversary. Of, of, of, you know, how long have we been together now? 12 years, 12 years. One day a year wh