Does A Wife Have a Duty to Have "Relations" With Her Husband? Conjugal Duties

Join Malcolm and Simone Collins for a frank and thought-provoking discussion on conjugal duties in marriage. This video explores the complex dynamics of sexual obligations, consent, and relationship expectations in both traditional and modern contexts. The Collins couple offers their unique perspective on marital contracts, sexual satisfaction, and the often-overlooked aspects of successful long-term partnerships.

Key points covered:

* The concept of conjugal duties in different relationship models

* The importance of clear expectations and relationship contracts

* Sexual satisfaction as a mutual responsibility

* The role of consent and enthusiasm in marital intimacy

* Age gap relationships and power dynamics

* Challenges faced by high-status individuals in maintaining fulfilling relationships

* The pitfalls of polyamory for average couples

* The importance of appreciation and recognition in long-term partnerships

Whether you're married, considering marriage, or simply interested in relationship dynamics, this video offers valuable insights into the complexities of modern partnerships.

Simone Collins: [00:00:00] Hello everyone! We're so glad to have you back at Basecamp. Today we are going to talk about conjugal duties. That is to say, how much should each spouse be obligated to do sexy times with the other spouse? And is that important? Well Yes, and

Malcolm Collins: consent in marriages and everything like that.

Would you like to know more?

Malcolm Collins: The reason I wanted to do this particular topic is because when Fundy snark channels, when the channels that make fun of conservatives have their pearl clutching, Oh, I cannot believe they said that moments. One of the most classic is around a wife's conjugal duties. The idea that a wife either would not have the ability to decline consent in a marriage That a wife would have a duty to have sexual relations with her husband.

Simone Collins: Yeah, something along those lines.

Malcolm Collins: We hadn't [00:01:00] actually talked that much about this as a concept before, Simone, and this is just something that hasn't really come up with us. Because I've never understood I, yeah, I guess it, it didn't occur to me that you would ever say no, if I wanted to do something.

So I am wondering how do you, like what, Yeah. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do women have a conjugal duty to their husbands?

Simone Collins: My, and I'm sure you can predict this. My response is it all depends on what the relationship is founded on. If the relationship is founded on sex, then absolutely if everything is predicated on that, if you know that your partner married you because they wanted to have sex frequently or because they found you sexually attracted and wanted to have sex with you regularly and are marrying you for sexual access.

That is part of your obligation. A really common stereotype of relationships. So it's common as a stereotype because it's true. Is it really high wealth, high value men may marry a trophy wife who is much younger perhaps [00:02:00] not as professionally or financially successful, but very sexy for that sexual access.

And in that case, it would be insane for the young woman who ends up getting married. To act as though it is anything, but absolutely her conjugal duty to satisfy this has this partner sexually, as long as they're married, no matter how she feels like she should behave, as long as he is keeping up his end of the bargain, which typically is, I'm going to, you will live in luxury, you will get jewelry, you will get clothing, you will go on fancy trips, have the best food, whatever.

So I think that the whole point is, and this is why relationship contracts are so important. Partners need to know what is being exchanged before they get married, because it is 100 percent your obligation. In fact, I'm so vehement on this that let's say I'm a young, beautiful woman and an older man marries me because they want to regularly have sex with a young, beautiful woman.

Let's say I'm courting Leonardo DiCaprio, and I'm, it's all right. I [00:03:00] think that it is my duty to

Malcolm Collins: put the Leonardo DiCaprio chart on the screen here. What age is it when they turn

Simone Collins: 24 or something like that? It's quite it's mid twenties. And along those lines, I think he's a really great example here.

I would put in our relationship contract if I were to marry Leonardo DiCaprio as that he would have every right to sleep with whatever woman he chooses. And I may even offer to help source those women after I age out of his attractive age range, if I want to maintain that relationship. In other words, if I want to continue To be his wife and continue to have access to presumably his wealth, his connections, whatever, like the, whatever he brings to the table that I would then need to continue to provide that item of value.

I heard

Malcolm Collins: what she just said differently, because it's funny you're taking an incredibly. Some people would say conservatist extremist physician and immediately flipping to a progressive extremist. This is what pragmatism looks like.

Simone Collins: Pragmatism is unmoored from political [00:04:00] bias.

Malcolm Collins: So you are saying that, okay, if you are a woman who's coming into a relationship without bringing much to the table in terms of, your own career or really anything else, like you would see in a typical trophy wife,

Baby: right?

In

Malcolm Collins: that case, Just undisputedly every time conjugal duty is obviously what's expected because that's what's being traded for.

Baby: Yes.

Malcolm Collins: But in the case of Leonardo DiCaprio, you pointed something out. You pointed out an individual, and we will say that Leonardo DiCaprio has a very strong preference for women between a certain age range.

Exactly. Now, regardless of how discussing you as an individual find that or we as society may find that you're just basically throwing that out the window. You're basically being, look, I am like a restaurant server girl and somehow I got Leonardo DiCaprio, fabulously wealthy, famous person to marry me.

I'm going to be happy with that, but I also see this trend in his past dating life.

Which is he always leaves people at X age. So how can [00:05:00] I create a deal with him where being in a relationship with me is still something that is on the aggregate desirable to him, even when sexual relations with me are no longer desirable?

Simone Collins: Because I think we, what you have to do is actually parse out the thing of value that the person wants in a relationship. And the thing of value in this case is sexual access to a female under, we'll say 24 years old. And so if you are no longer a female under 24 years old, you're gonna have to figure out how to either end the relationship in an amicable way, so there has to be like a really good prenup.

It's okay when I turn 24, here's, we get the divorce, and then I get this much money.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah. Yeah. You would need a really strong prenup. If you were going into it this way, just like literally plan for it.

Simone Collins: Like we have a birthday party, that's an equal divorce party. The lawyer's already paid for, all these things, or you have to have a contingency plan.

I want to add though, that there's another part to this that I think is really important that shows up a ton in the funding commitments

Mal