Are Furries More Trad Than Trad Wives?

We trace the history of furries and anthropomorphized animal costumes back to ancient traditions around the world. How furries connect to traditional masquerade parties, shapeshifting rituals, Egyptian & Native American animal gods. We discuss reasons why modern cultures denigrate furries despite their traditional roots and productive members. Covered topics include the psychology of hunting zoophilic furries, Trump's thing for Ivanka, Biden's hair sniffing fetish, and whether squirrel tails and fox ears make your partner more attractive.

Simone Collins: [00:00:00] But yes, I do think if you, if you, if you woke up one day. And you had cute fox or dog ears, it would probably make you, which I don't know how this is possible because you become more attractive every day, but it would make you even a little bit more attractive.

Malcolm Collins: Oh my gosh, now this is spicy, this is

Simone Collins: I don't see how this is spicy.

I feel like if, listen, if like Joe Biden. Suddenly had like white fox ears, you know, like I think that he like he would go up in the polls. I

Malcolm Collins: think that Joe Biden shows his fetish very loudly.

Simone Collins: He like sniffs people's hair,

Malcolm Collins: people's hair.

He seems really into it. if they had grown up within our generation, they'd accept it, they'd know. Don't sniff women's hair publicly. That's a bad thing to go around sniffing people's hair in public. This is something you can go to a special hair sniffing club for.

Simone Collins: A hair sniffing orgy.

We all have a desire to be known, and he's constantly [00:01:00] sniffing hair in public, it's not some big secret.

Malcolm Collins: But we were saying what's also really funny about, like, what people think is trad and what people don't think is trad.

Furries are super trad. Yeah. Like, they are far They're more trad than the nuclear family. What does trad even mean? Like if you're trying to be trad, but you say furries aren't trad or not the type of trad you wanna be.

Huh? What's causing this differentiation? Like, what is trad actually, if not furries? Because I don't think that that's what people mean. Like the way people use trad today, let's be honest,

Simone Collins: is not actually traditional. take the word trad, disassociate it from the concept of traditional or history or historical accuracy and just make it a genre, like anime or like DC comics, right?

Malcolm Collins: I actually think trying to cosplay like a 1950s wholesome family is one of the few cultural contexts we have for what it looks like to be in a happy relationship with happy kids. And so [00:02:00] if you're trying to figure out or trying to search for how do I build that for myself?

Cosplaying that and cosplaying creates the thing you're cosplaying

Would you like to know more?

Simone Collins: I'm here. You don't want to be a pilot.

Malcolm Collins: What? Oh yeah. We had US Air Force recruiting call me.

Simone Collins: You know, when I took a job test, you know, there's like job tests you fill out.

There were, there were two jobs. It was like, it's, this is very clear. You just need to take one of these or else you'll be miserable in life. Either join the military or become a librarian. That is like, you just like, you can only live with extreme structure. I'm sorry. And of course I do the complete opposite, but, but also because I think what they miss and what these, these career tests miss, especially with autists is autists don't necessarily want somebody.

Else's structure. They want their own structure. Yeah. So it's better to be an entrepreneur, even if like everything is completely like Calvin Ball. Make up your own rules. Nothing is certain, at least you get to dictate everything yourself. And I, I, I always, I die in systems where I have to [00:03:00] live by other people's rules.

It's, I agree with that. I probably would. But what I want to ask you, Mr. Is if you were a furry, what would your fursona look like?

Malcolm Collins: I actually think that this is a better question for somebody else to answer about me. You, you, what would you want my fursona to be?

Simone Collins: I feel like you'd probably be a fox because you're very fiery and clever.

Um, and like, you're very loyal and caring.

So you're kind of dog like, but you're not obedient. So I couldn't classify you as dog. You know what I mean? What about

Malcolm Collins: a raccoon?

Simone Collins: Yeah, you're totally a raccoon. Oh my God. And like, you also do this thing that I call raccooning. So Malcolm, just for your edification he like his brain turns off when he has things in his hands or even like, like a wedding ring on his hand.

And like when he just. Gets [00:04:00] in certain modes, like he's eating or he gets into a car or he gets home. Like he started, he had his brain turns off and he starts raccooning or just like stuff just gets shoved in places. And like, you never know where it's going to go. If he's at a restaurant, it's like somehow under a plate.

And then we've lost so many of his wedding rings because of this. He just, he has, he can't have it on this.

Malcolm Collins: You know, I just have this generic, like 5

Simone Collins: wedding ring, 11, 11. Come on. We're not here. It's your wedding ring. But yeah, we have like basically all over the house. Like I have hanging on little hooks. I have in my purse, I have in my makeup bag.

I have in my, like,

Malcolm Collins: I love your thing about like, I'm like Sonic. Whenever I hit something, just rings explode everywhere.

Simone Collins: But yeah, you're totally raccoon. That is, that is your fursona. What about you? A squirrel? Yeah, probably

Malcolm Collins: a squirrel. No, you're more deliberate than that.

Simone Collins: Squirrels are very deliberate.

They're always like No, ew. No, I'm definitely because squirrels like to squirrel things away and like hide things and they act [00:05:00] like they're really busy but they're really just shuffling stuff around. But you

Malcolm Collins: also like shiny things. I think another raccoon here.

Simone Collins: Maybe, yeah, maybe we're a bunch of

Malcolm Collins: raccoons.

We're a little raccoon family,

little dirt pandas, little trash pandas that hang out in, but hold on. And you like breaking

Simone Collins: rules and I like well, you know what the raccoons would do when they would break into my childhood house? Is they would, they would take our cat's food and then they would wash it before eating it.

Like they dip it in water and then they eat it. And then one they're so smart and they're so big on collecting. So I guess this would be

Malcolm Collins: me like hygiene too. They like washing things.

Simone Collins: Yeah. They're big on hygiene. So that would be me. And then what we found one day when we like came up in the middle of the night and we could hear them, like they'd bust into our house through the cat door, which was one of those magnetic key cat doors.

So like it should not have. But they, they picked the lock. They're just very smart is they had not just eaten all the cat food. They'd found the cat food bag and we found one raccoon on the outside of the cat door pulling the bag. And we found the other r