In this episode, I have the wonderful pleasure to be once again speaking with Clinical Psychologist, Author, and Podcaster Dr. Carla Marie Manly about her book “The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships.” We talk about the intersection between the letting go of perfection and the letting in of joy while not only accepting the flaws in each of us but also allowing space for and embracing the quirky and idiosyncratic parts of one another. Dr. Carla gives us a summary of four different relationship styles and how we can adopt the healthiest one that, like a braid, allows for dependence while also supporting independence as well as fostering connection between each other. At the same time, if the relationship includes emotional intelligence, with strong communication and healthy conflict, it could lead to even more joy and harmony. Furthermore, we discuss how and why the relationship with oneself is of great importance and that we need to be reminded that self-love is not always synonymous with self-care. It is best to be kind and gentle with oneself including past versions of our selves. Often, there is a lot of pain and traumatic experiences that need to be addressed and processed to be able to move forward and onward in life, yet we should not be afraid to change direction or our mindset to attain what works best for us at a given moment. We also look at how change may be difficult but necessary to embrace and the three positive purposes of uplift, grow, and accept that can help us along the way.
