209 - How To Stay Calm When You're Angry

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people try to stay calm by biting their tongue and hoping the feeling passes. It rarely works, because by then the anger has already built. In this episode, Alastair shows you what to do instead.

You can feel it starting: the heat in your chest, your jaw going tight, the harsh words already lining up in your head. And you know how the next ten minutes will go, because they've gone that way before.

You'll learn three practical steps you can use the next time you feel it building. You'll discover the physical, emotional and thinking early warning signs that tell you anger is on its way, why your thoughts create your anger rather than the event itself, and how to say what you need without putting the other person on the defensive.

Alastair also works through "I" statements in detail, including the difference between "you never listen to me" and "I feel unheard when I'm interrupted". He then takes one ordinary trigger, dirty dishes left in the sink again, and runs it through all three steps so you can see how a blow up turns into a productive conversation.

The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, recognise their early warning signs, stay calm under pressure, and build calmer, happier relationships.

Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.