Why the Yes Comes Out Before the No You Meant

You're walking out of school pickup with a backpack in each hand when another parent asks if you could run the bake sale table on Saturday. Everything in you says no. You hear yourself say, "Sure, no problem."

This episode looks at the two predictable mistakes that tend to show up in the few seconds after someone asks. One is about the other person: research on declined invitations found that people consistently overestimate how disappointed or upset the person who invited them will be. The other is about future you: we tend to expect more spare time next month than we'll actually have.

Put those together and the reluctant yes starts to make sense. It usually isn't a character flaw. It's a decision made too fast, and a little distance from that moment, like "Let me check and get back to you tonight," can change what you say.


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7 Good Minutes is presented by OCEANSCAPE and published by The Extraordinary Network.