NYT Obituary Writer Sam Roberts on What Obits Reveal About Life, Death, and Legacy + His New Book 'Are They Dead Yet?'

In this episode of TSFS, I sit down with New York Times obituary writer Sam Roberts, who has written more than 1,600 obituaries and explains why obits are really about lives, not death. Sam shares how he came from a culture of denying death, then learned to find the “rosebud moment” that captures someone’s essence, and why news obituaries differ from death notices and eulogies. We talk about the toughest editorial calls—who gets one of the few daily slots, how to handle misdeeds and context (including his Charles Rangel example), and what families often want omitted. Sam also explains The Times’ 2,000 advance obituaries, the pressure of instant online deadlines, and what he’s learned from interviewing people facing death, including John Sexton and Pat Thaler. We discuss humor, famous last words, polarizing figures, and The Times’ “Portraits of Grief,” ending with Sam’s belief that there are no ordinary lives.

Timestamps:

00:32 Obits Are About Life

02:02 Crafting The Perfect Obit

08:46 Advance Obituaries Explained

10:59 Lessons From The Dying

18:01 Families Versus The Truth

21:48 Inside The Book

25:37 Portraits Of Grief And Ordinary Lives

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