On Today's Show: Listener voicemail: A DV “bloody tampon” story got played during an NYU class for a creative-writing analysis. The prof called it “well-written,” everyone else gagged. 🩸📚 Quantum Energy Squares — 10g protein, 100mg caffeine. Code: FREAK for 25% off at QuantumSquares.com . Listener Sponsor: Raphael (again!)—this time with the correct link. Mission: highlight “Hood Legend D,” the shirtless “gourmet” with the eternal low-battery smoke alarm. Feature: @tismala_hoodlegend_d (reads as tismala_hoodlegend_d ) and his “gourmet” builds: Chef Boyardee ravioli → rice → eggs = “S-plus gourmet.” “Red pea soup” that is… clearly canned baked beans on a plate. Grand claims: “Deal diabetes. Cure cancer.” DV Bits: Low-battery smoke alarm detector mode; shirtless “industrial kitchen” critique; wheeze-and-moan supercut a.k.a. Obesity Express : choo-choo to congestive heart failure. Links: Creator profile & a couple “gourmet” clips (see episode post). Patricia Henson phones in from rehab; working on leg strength and mobility, doing better, hopes to go home when cleared. No Craigslist personals… for now . Bodycam moment: Bald white woman (single giant hoop earring) at booking threatens to pee during photo—then does . Officers warn; she answers with repeated slurs and “white n-----” riffs while watering the red line . DV Note: The whole show is a trigger warning, but… consider yourself warned. Now in a group home; calls 911 for directions to the station to file a complaint about the police . Claims crossing streets is unsafe “because disability.” Nearly gets hit mid-call. Classic Andy: Wants help exactly the way he wants it—or everyone’s violating his rights. Outside a theater: A self-proclaimed “divine wife” lunges for Keanu’s car door. Security takes her down; Keanu wheels away. DV diagnosis: celebrity worship + tackle physics. The internet’s least fun anthropology class: Nick declares Ukrainians aren’t white , so by that logic… Italians aren’t either. DV counters: If Ukrainians “aren’t white,” neither is Fuentes . Also: deportation tangent speedrun → Israel → nothing answered. AI Gun Detector vs. Doritos Bag (Baltimore Co.) School’s OmniLert AI flags a folded Doritos bag as a gun; cops arrive with weapons drawn on Taki Allen (16) . “Rapid human verification” somehow misses the nacho dust. Counseling offered; trust eroded. Hunky Murderer, Hentai Cards, & World Travel Luigi Mangione (charged in the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting) backpacked Japan/Thailand/India in spring ’24 to “zen out.” Allegedly joked about paying a Yakuza boss for a prostitute with NSFW Pokémon cards. DV dives into the surprisingly busy market for “adult Pokémon” cards (lots of Misty; distressing lack of anatomically enhanced Squirtle). Mangione pled not guilty ; feds seeking the death penalty on top count. Gym Rat PSA: If you need your chair’s armrests to stand, start squatting. Tim’s studio layout now gives him room to roll without shimming. Windows Vista Nostalgia: One freak had flawless Vista (Professional). Tim’s Walmart special (Home) made audio gear cry. Are Argentinians White? Caller asks where they land. Tim: Google image roulette suggests “all of the above.” Pending: Lord Douche geopolitical race taxonomy. YouTube: Wheel of Misery spins & video snippets are back. youtube.com/@DVdaily (link in episode post). Join the Sideshow: Web: distortedview.com → monthly/quarterly/semi-annual/yearly/lifetime. Spotify: Subscribe on the DV show page (Sideshow tab). Apple Podcasts: One-tap subscribe on DV’s page or paste your private feed from distortedview.com. Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview — $5 tier gets the priority voicemail line . Sponsor an Episode: $25 via PayPal (note what you want Tim to cover): PayPal.me/distortedview or
[email protected] Discord: Free freak hangout—invite link on distortedview.com . Mail Tim Weird Stuff: Distorted View, PO Box 36268, Cincinnati, OH 45236 .
