Let me say it here, in writing: I am NOT opposed to marital therapy. I am quite concerned, however, on how marital therapy happens now. I am concerned about the effectiveness of marital therapy. And I am concerned for people who blindly seek out marital therapy, expecting it to help. If you don't know it, my training and background is as a marriage and family therapist. I spent years, and several degrees, preparing to be a marriage therapist. And I was pretty disillusioned to see how ineffective marital therapy, overall, has been shown to be. Statistics are about the bigger view, not the specific therapist with a specific couple. But from the overall view, according to meta analysis of studies, about 75% of people who go to marital therapy still divorce. Only around 10-15% report a positive help. Now, you see my issues. Why, if this is the primary way of helping a marriage, is it so ineffective? Three reasons: 1) Therapist training, 2) Therapist orientation, 3) Client resistance. Listen in to this podcast to understand the issues. Then, you can make a better choice about whether therapy makes sense, how to find a good therapist, and how to make sure you and your spouse are truly ready for therapy. (And if you aren't, that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do! That is why I created the Save The Marriage System, and why we offer Relationship Coaching.)
