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You keep telling yourself you’re fine. You answer the emails, talk to the teacher, get the dog to the vet — all while holding everyone else’s emotions together and promising them it’s going to be okay. No one questions it because you’ve been doing it so long the anxious stomach flutter and tight shoulders have become your baseline. At the end of the day you collapse and scroll. The animal videos seem to quiet the nagging internal voice, until the news reminds you how bad things are and you go back to thinking you’re not doing enough. So you keep adding things to all the lists you have to feel like you’re being productive. You tell yourself you’ll figure it out next week. And next week comes and goes. You’re not broken. You’re exhausted on a level you can’t quite explain — and somewhere underneath it all, you know something has to change. It was all supposed to be better than this, right?
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