This week I'm talking to Cape Town-based CBT practitioner Emily about the practical ways Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can support behaviour change and an alcohol-free life.
Emily explains how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours become connected over time, and why drinking can become an automatic response to anxiety, stress, celebration or discomfort. Rather than judging these patterns, CBT encourages us to become curious about them — and then start interrupting them.
Emily introduces the simple STOP technique for dealing with an urge:
S — Stop: pause rather than reacting automatically.T — Take a breath: interrupt the urge and calm the nervous system.O — Observe: notice the thought or feeling without treating it as a command.P — Proceed: choose what you want to do next with intention rather than running on autopilot.
We also discussed urge surfing, journalling and thought records, as well as how to challenge limiting beliefs such as “I deserve a drink” or “I can’t relax without alcohol.” Instead of simply replacing these thoughts with positive ones, Emily suggests looking at the whole truth: What is alcohol really giving you — and what happens afterwards?
The conversation also explores why people can become trapped in repeated attempts at moderation, the importance of building alternative coping strategies, and why an alcohol-free life needs to contain things that genuinely provide relaxation, pleasure, connection and purpose.
There’s even a fascinating discussion about dogs and emotional regulation — including Emily’s six-month-old Staffy, Vizoo — and the role that movement, routine, connection and unconditional companionship can play in our wellbeing.
Emily leaves us with a beautifully simple message: you don't have to change everything at once.
If you're feeling stuck in your drinking, becoming curious is already a beginning. Take one small step — write down a thought, speak to someone, try a tool or experiment with a few alcohol-free days. Change doesn't require perfection; it begins with awareness, curiosity and action.
You can find Emily on Instagram - @cbtincpt
You can find Tribe Sober here
