The Siamese Herring Experiment

Send us a text Brian and Brian find good use for a stunned Rat on this week's heart-warming episode of the Herrings. Yes, Rats with mobility issues always rate well in the Cyberspace world and don't the Brian's milk it, literally for all its worth. Speaking of the AI Atlas Celestial-a-tron, Brian speaks way too long and far beyond a reasonable grasp of the English language about dirt, gases, grit and gravel just to give Mick O'Reilly some cheap advertising. It's a fuckin menace and heads will roll. Or at least be ripped off and stuff. Brian pinpoints the time and events that will go down in history when Anal Cream is the de rigeur item for all homosexuals about town. In an inspiring section of tonight's Poo, Barry gets hit in the head with a Pick Handle. Jolly good fun and shit.

Send us a text This weeks episode has been cobbled together with thoughts, prayers and liquid gravel by Barry whilst he is in offshore detention. Unfortunately Barry has been scooped up in a "Homeless Clean Up" campaign introduced by Queenslands own political potato Adrian Christafoolish. The government does not regard an old suitcase under a set of stairs an actual dwelling, although we do believe the local government will be renting out such spaces come the Brisbanuim Olympic Games in 2032 or whenever it is. Once the correct bribes are directed to the appropriate council members, Barry should be out of detention and back to work at Herring Headquarters where he is the backbone and anal passage of the editorial and saliva department. On a more sombre note, it has been revealed by Doctor Dennis Dentist that Bevan's cancer has either gone into remission after 62% of his body was cut out or maybe he only had scabies in the first place. Either way he is doing well and we are putting his insurance money to good use on prostitutes, alcohol and whale blubber.

Send us a text As the AI Atlas 3000 hurtles through the Milky Way on a collision course with Billy Mumy and Captain Spock on the Goodship Lollypop, the Brian's discuss at breath the fascination of space travel and skin infections. Brian ponders the new world order that is RFK and his magnificent brainial thing that keeps churning out words of wisdom in his velvet voice only a helicopter blade could understand. Also, the Chinese have ventured into the world of skid marks and inter galactic fun with the new version of the Titanic. Great viewing for the kiddies and the mentally redundant. On a serious and somewhat comforting note, Barry and Bevan re invent the wheel and get hit by a bus on Gympie Road. Fuckers.

Send us a text The race that startles a nation, The Melbourne Cup; will this year be hosted by Albo's BBQ Bonanza and Abattoir Requisites. Millions of dollars are gambled away this first Tuesday in November, but Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albuquerque will make sure all the kiddies of these degenerate gambling addicts will not go hungry. All 257 horses running in this years race will be humanely massacred, chain sawed into lumps and gracefully charred on an open gasoline fuelled BBQ. Kiddies that can prove their parents are a disgrace will be force fed equine cuisine and taken away to be raised in detention camps. Bloody good initiative Albo. On a lighter note Bevan and Barry are in for a surprise when they dress up in a horse costume for Fashions on the Field and get gelded.

Send us a text In another delightfully stupid week full of herring, Brian and Brian recount the halogen days of Australia Post and Brian's relationship with all and sundry who work at Lower Lawnton Heights most successful stamp and assault weapon emporium, JJ's Stamps and Ammo. On a heavier note, the Brians catch up with your mum and give her some long overdue badminton lessons.

Send us a text This week the Brians investigate startling allegations that Orstralia is not Orstria and anyway they can't play football with or without incriminating photos of grown men with members of another species. Later in the episode, after a visit to the United Nations; the Brians manage to convince 190 member states to exclusively use hot dog cannons in all future wars. The Russkies and Yanks still like the good old days and no one gives a fuck what the Israelianites think. Cunts. On a lighter note Barry volunteers to be tied down on a bull ant nest until he tells Bevan where he hid his mum.

Send us a text Brian and Brian discuss the intricacies of dealing with the local Police department and the ways and means of making it a good business decision. From securing lost property and stolen goods, to hoarding physical evidence to be put before the Courts, the Brian's detail the size of the Shed and Pit required to relieve the Coppers of the stuff and allow you to store it at your location. For a fee, the Brian's will show you how to successfully pilfer from said stash and stuff and show a healthy balance sheet at years end. For another sizeable fee Barry can be enlisted to chart your Tax evasion course. Brian remarks that our Australian and Southern Hemisphere Lord, Anthony Albowbenesieeee is hitting his straps as he instructs the Orange Turd in the US about how to suck on a Tarriff and how to ignore phone calls, let alone his innate ability to get drunk just by touching a bottle of Stout. On a magnificent sight for sore eyes, Barry gets gored by a Bull with herpes. Unbelievably callous and raucously hilarious and stuff.

Send us a text On tonight's Episplode, Brian and Brian ask the logical and somewhat profound question that the world has pondered for centuries, and yes, the answer is outstanding. Er, due to copyright laws, a Cat and perjury, this may not be accurate. Brian of his own volition, categorises at length his attitude and enjoyment of Patina. Yes, that biological extract that all and sundry are discussing and enthusing about in all English speaking countries here and elsewhere, and stuff. On a nonsensical note but hilarious bit, Barry is hit by a bus.

Send us a text After years of requests from loyal and disloyal listeners alike, Brian and the not so Brian, have contractually agreed to publish the Brian files. These files contain pictures, fleas and paper clips guaranteed to bring the whole world and bits of New Zealand to its knees. On a lighter note Bevan is trapped under a snowmobile whilst hunting penguins in his attic.

Send us a text This mid Winter night in the nearly most southerly continent on Earth and Uranus, both Brian's discuss all sorts of files. Starting with the Coarse Bastard, mentioning the Lady Boy Anal File and concluding with the Jeff Files. Brian chats openly about swimming in the white powder pool on Jeff Island and how his date is as smooth as a bowling ball now. The conversation continues with his exploits with Brian in the Mango and Jelly pool. Terrific memories and stuff. Brian, of course, can't stop name dropping and before you know it a huge list of names is put out there. From Carl Sagan, Leonard Nimoy, Colonel Klink, Johnny Balsawood, Katherine Kluck, Stephen Denaro, Malcolm Brown, Chris Wade, Glen Hamilton, Fat Crack, Con O'Sullivan (sorry Brian), Jed Clampett, Barry Costello, Douglas Bader..... and he just goes on and fucking on. On a serious note, Barry gets garrotted with a shovel. All good family fun.

Send us a text Brian declares to the world and an outlier planet on the edge of the Solar System that the 2032 Olympic Games in Brisvegas will incorporate the lower, lower end of Brian's property for the Opening Ceremony and the car parking. Much to the surprise of the Queensland Government and Furhrer Crisisafool, the Brian's show the money, the blueprints and drainage for the blood in an all out display of Herring aptitude and war mongering. On a side note, Brian introduces Duck's into the menu that will be supplied at the Olympics. Yes the freshly shot ones down on Pond 6, right next to the shooting gallery, opposite the Discotheque and beside the Panther enclosure. Don't miss out!!! On another incredible turn of luck Barry gets hit with a saucepan.

Send us a text This week Doctor Brain and Professor Brian table the mysterious and shaved world of the Travelling Koala Syndrome. The Nobel Prize of Overthinking will inevitably come their way this year, rewarding there decades long search for the perfect after dinner mint to pair with a Peppermint Cabernet and Otter Mudcake. On a lighter and more sinister note the Brians have let Baron "The Trumpet of Colon" Mini-fuhrer off the leash and watched on as Barry was devoured whole by the maniacal kiddy.

Send us a text The Brian's discuss the absolute possibility that Mars Bars and Moon Bars will be available at most interplanetary kiosks In the foreseeable future. With the brutal demise of the Orange Scum and Elongated's love-in and the hissy fits and cat calling, both Brian's frolic in the fallout and the hilariousness of 2 grown men acting like fucktards. Brian and Brian talk about the relevance of obese people in the world as we know it. From your real fatty Boombla to the fat bastard who only eats cake, to the large woman with 9 chins and uses a tarpaulin as a bra. This, and much more diabetes and colon clogging on this week's episplode of why don't more fat fucks just explode.

Send us a text This week the Brians finally get their patented Herring Condom Machines into the Vatican gift shop. With a new sponsor onboard with the Siamese Herring Experiment, the Brian's reveal this new venture on tonight's Episplode. Yes, Cardinals Choice Condoms enters the world of fledgeulent sexual practices. The comings and the goings are now neatly wrapped up in steel belted wonderment for the universe to admire and avoid nasty genital warts, lesions, pussy sores, chlamydia, Down Syndrome and horse bites. Hurrah. On a particularly nasty note, Barry plays chess with the new Pope. He wins and is removed from the premises after contracting Leprosy. Fucking Pope's are sore lovers er, losers. This goes back to Pope Insidious, who had Jezus Carpenter put to death by firing squad because Jezus beat him at Poker. Bastard.

Send us a text The Brian's have an extremely deep and meaningful conversation about their encounters with Whitchcraft, Voodoo and reverse parking. Brian becomes highly intellectual when discussing the old days when wearing a Lawnmower as a hat was de rigeur and meant something in the suburbs. The Brian's discuss at length about Haiti and the Haitian people being not only simple souls and being good at Jewjew, but their exemplary culinary delights when it came to cooking miscreants and at the same time wearing a Brunch Coat. Fascinating. On a very interesting note, both Brian's turned up to do this Poocast Sober.

Send us a text The Brian's brave up to farewell another dead Pope and reminisce about the old times and the gay times in Vatican central. Of course, Brian spills the beans on who is in the running to be wearing the Popal gear after the smoke and mirrors Conclave, or is that Enclave, reaches its nude crescendo. Brian puts forward that the new leader of the Listeria National Party must have a full head of hair and must not be a fucking Arsehole like the last one. Bye bye Potatohead. All of this and Nana's recipe for using Death Mushrooms to release your inner vengeance.

Send us a text Brian and Brian get together again for Turdsday evening tomfoolery, nose bleeds, autopsy unveilings and recipes for single white men who can't sleep in the dark. Brian speaks at length and mindnumbingly so about the Pope and the new dawn of another man to be appointed as head of the Roman Caucasian Church. Both Brian's discuss the smoke, mirrors, debauchery and fun that will happen as soon as candidates bend over and speak in tongues to get as many votes as required to be voted in as the representative of Dog on planet earthium and the Men behaving badly and dressing inappropriately revue. Barry puts on eye-liner and does a nude dance to commemorate Just Dumb Vance day.

Send us a text This week Brian and Brian discuss the merits of Tuberculosis and how it can be used to harness moon rays to power small scale farming equipment. Barry practices his Americanism, and Greenland narrowly escapes being dug up and sold in Walmart's across the United States of Alaska. On a lighter note the largest pod of Sabre Toothed Whales has been sighted off the coast of Antartica near Mawson's Hut. They are on their annual migration from Wollongong to Germany and can be intimidated by loud noises, tennis racquets and nudity. Good luck.

Send us a text On this spontaneous combustible episode, Brian and Brian piece together reality, just as a neurosurgeon would knit together a smashed brain. The Brian's discuss the cognitive and repetitive features of an animal constantly on heat. Yes, at last someone has the guts to unmask the true identity of the horse like creature that now is recognised as the centre of brainial ingenuity, yes, the Don key. Available at all Mick O'Reillys Sand, Cement, Gravel, Lime, Industrial Waste, Fertiliser for good or evil (That's on the Darkweb site), Hammeroid Cream, Ballistic Missile goods and services, Bubonic Plague starter kits, Replica Salivery glands for fun and profit and much much more. All of this on the Glow in the Dark episplode of how fucked are Feeart engines and transmissions and much less of the Siamese Tarriff Expensive Excrement.

Send us a text This evening on the SHE, Brian and the other Brian discuss in an Ethiopian accent about Space Cocaine and the relevance of having Aliens living on Brian's property to ensure of cordial arrangements and on time delivery methods. On a hilarious note, Brian let's rip about the exciting new autonomous creature, that is, the Anus People. Not to be confused with Politicians or the Clergy. Brian, again, rabbit's on about his trip to Tasmania and how they are the citizens of the Universe and all other sorts of shit. He has one, just one unbelievable experience with a local Prostitute there and he won't shut up. Wanker !! All this, and 2 Donkey's fornicating on this week's episplode of funnily enough, the Siamese Herring Experiment showing 2 Donkeys and 2 Nuns.

Send us a text This week the Brians realise the reason their enormous ratings, subscribers and underpants have been falling drastically, is because of the terrible typewriter keyboard Brian is using to create his brilliant podcasting thingy. After severe prodding with a stick Barry was coerced into ......nevermind. On a lighter and warmer note, Pope Francis has had his new Tesla Popemobile struck by lightning or a molotov and it has burnt to the ground with all the photographs, and has been summoned back to hell. It's getting crowded with popemobiles on the car lot now and Johnny Lucifer needs to get rid of thousands of units before new stocks arrives. Come on down for the deal of a lifetime...no contracts....well maybe a small one...

Send us a text This week the Siamese Herring Experiment has been hit with trade tariffs from Barry's mum. Brian and Brian will no longer be able to borrow the latex goods without first coughing up a whopping 28% extra phlegm. This will put enormous economic strain on the Brians; as Brian has had his adenoids removed and Brian's mucous membranes were damaged in a golf car eating championship. On a lighter note time travel is now closer to the ordinary man, woman or non-binary entity than ever before thanks to Mick O'Reilly's Sand Cement and Wormholes. Mention the Brians and get your second wormhole last week.

Send us a text The handgun market in the good old USA is heating up as manufacturers throughout the world supply the new 6 shooter for infants, especially for the American market. The Brian's travelled to Gympie for the unveiling of the new baby Gun. Exclusively designed and engineered as well as patented by Bluey for J. J. Guns and Ammo. After letting off 5000 rounds and kissing lots of non binary 4 year olds and signing autographs, the Brian's then went onto the Gold Mine Hotel and Explosives Factory and let off another 9000 rounds and drank 8 fifteen litre Kegs of the local beer. With a Police escort, the Brian's then drove one and half hours back to Lawnton Heights for more shooting and Boozing. Cyclone, what fucking Cyclone.

Send us a text The International Poocast of the Year function held in Papua New Guinea has bestowed on the Herrings another world wide award that will hang with 100's of others in Shed 66 on Brian's property. Not being big headed or arrogant, the Brian's have only had 5 days of celebrating. As well as reaching out to the powers that be that the Australian/s of the Year award must certainly be the Brian's. Who could deny this, the Bastards. On a solemn note, Brian has returned from the Vatican without being able to assist in the burial of Pope Frank. The old bastard just keeps praying and getting extra days on planet earthium.

Send us a text This week Brian and Brian reminisce about Stephen Hawking and sardines, mutant marsupials and Pythagoras. There's something about Sir Isaac Newton, but it's not been authenticated by the Vatican or Sister Mercia, so fuck knows. On a side note Barry loses a kangaroo down the insinkerator and finds love at the emergency centre. Lucky bastard!