Myopia Movies

Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern... How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Jeremy Directed by John R. Cherry III Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker, Gailard Sartain, Billie Bird, Robert Lesser

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have intercourse with trees via their ponytail. Well done, Jim Cameron. Well done. How will Avatar hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko Directed by: James Cameron Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel David Moore

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah! How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up? Directed by Seth Kearsley Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Jackie Sandler, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Norm Crosby, Jon Lovitz, Tyra Banks

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a millennial Christmas Classic, Jingle All The Way! Bathe in the 1990s nostalgia as we visit trampling people for toys, malls, and toy stores. Also, Phil Hartman's masterclass on seducing a woman away from Arnold. How will Jingle All The Way hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Candice, Matthew, and Jeremy Directed by Brian Levant Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad, Martin Mull, Jake Lloyd, Jim Belushi

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn how the world became entranced with Henry Cavill and started to fall out with Zack Snyder. We watched Man of Steel home to the world's most vindictive Pa Kent and the one where Superman kills thousands in his final fight. Happy Thanksgiving from us at Myopia and safe shopping and travels today! How will Man of Steel hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur, Alex Directed by Zack Snyder Starring Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane, Russell Crowe, Antje Traue, Harry Lennix, Richard Schiff, Christopher Meloni, Kevin Costner, Ayelet Zurer, Laurence Fishburne

First, take a beloved musical from the 1930s and let it age on a shelf for forty-plus years. Second, strip out all the songs. Third, turn it into a waking nightmare. This week on Myopia Movies, we dove into Return to Oz! Isn’t it delightful when Creepy Kids Month syncs perfectly with a blockbuster release like Wicked: For Good? Though honestly…this movie might be memorable for entirely different reasons. Not good ones—just…reasons. How will Return to Oz hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Alex, Keiko Directed by: Walter Murch Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Matt Clark, Michael Sundin, Tim Rose, Sean Barrett, Mak Wilson, Brian Henson

"Like no one has ever been, like, aroused by close up magic, right? You're just like, ah, wow. That was my card. My God, where did that ball go? Who knows? Can I just pay for my, like, mozzarella sticks" - Nic This week, Myopia Movies continue Creepy Kid Movie Month with The Ring — the iconic, blue-green, early-2000s mood piece that taught us two essential truths: never trust a VHS tape without a label, and if a horse looks at you funny on a ferry… just walk away. We dive into Gore Verbinski’s eerie remake, the very specific shade of Pacific Northwest Depression Filter™, Naomi Watts’ crusade against cursed media, and the seven-day slow decline of a family held together mostly by caffeine and denial. Along the way, the panel examines horse suicides, VHS nostalgia, Pacific Northwest lighthouses, creepy kids named Aiden, and the logistics of a ghost girl committing long-distance murder through a Zenith television. Support Myopia Movies in a New Way! We’ve launched an Amazon Wish List filled with movies we want to riff—but here’s the twist: the titles are anonymous. You won’t know which Myopia host picked them! Buy one, and we’ll: Record an episode on the movie and you tell us anything you want to plug! We will record a special Myopia Riff of the movie just for you and mail you a copy with the optional riff audio. Sign the case It’s a mystery grab bag of bad movies, nostalgia, and chaos—our favorite combo. Check out the list and help us pick our next cinematic adventure! How will The Ring hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Alex, Matthew Directed by Gore Verbinski Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Jane Alexander, Lindsay Frost, Amber Tamblyn

This week we learn who is creepier, Macaulay Culkin who murdered one and a half siblings or Elijah Wood who is convinced that his mom is reincarnated into his aunt. We watched The Good Son. Ok, so the corpse highway car accident might be the greatest thing put to film and my favorite sentence I have gotten to write. How will the Good Son hold up? Directed by Joseph Ruben Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Elijah Wood, Wendy Crewson, David Morse, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Jacqueline Brookes, Quinn Culkin

This week on Myopia Movies, we seamlessly transition from Horror into our next month based around creepy kids. We watched The Omen (1976), the movie that forever made the name Damien creepy. How will The Omen (1976) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matthew, Nur Directed by Richard Donner Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton, Martin Benson

What happens when you do reshoots on 9/11, cast a character so embarrassed by her role she’s mistaken for a porn star, and give Tony Shalhoub a dramatic lead after turning a comedy into a thriller? You get this beautiful mess. This week on Myopia Movies, we watched Thir13en Ghosts (2001) — because apparently, hiring Matthew Lillard to fight ghosts without Scooby-Doo was the real horror. How will Thir13en Ghosts (2001) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Charlie, Matthew Directed by Steve Beck Starring: Tony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth, Alec Roberts, JR Bourne, Rah Digga, F. Murray Abraham, Matthew Harrison

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to King Country and deal with rabies, domestic violence, and the used car market. We watched Cujo (1983), a reminder to why you never sleep with the handyman. How will Cujo (1983) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur Directed by Lewis Teague Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter

The is week on Myopia Movies, we went to the Jason Voorhees-esque horror movie that started it all, we watched The Terminator. Are you Sarah Connor? How will The Terminator hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matt, Keiko. Directed by James Cameron Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Rick Rossovich, Earl Boen, Dick Miller, Bill Paxton, Brian Thompson

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate Atlanta Pride with The Birdcage! Welcome back to the show to the hairiest man that Hollywood could contain, with an added mustache! Who was the better man in drag, Nathan Lane or Robin Williams? How does The Birdcage hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Panel: Charlie, Nur, Alex

This week on Myopia Movies, we couldn't wait any longer so we are starting our Horror Month a week early...and it may even stay on a bit longer! We watched Freddy vs Jason, to borrow a slogan from the Alien vs Predator movies as a review, "who ever wins, we, the audience, loses." How will Freddy vs Jason hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur Directed by Ronny Yu Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Katharine Isabelle

The week on Myopia Movies, we fight the IRA. Represented by and speaking in Celtic by Tommy Lee Jones. We watched Blown Away! Who can stop them? Only Jeff Bridges (the Dude) and the President (his dad Lloyd Bridges). You may be asking yourself, who explodes? So many people! How will Blown Away hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko Directed by Stephen Hopkin Starring: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones, Suzy Amis, Lloyd Bridges, Forest Whitaker, Stephi Lineburg, John Finn

This week on Myopia Movies we study abroad! By that I mean we eat weird food, learn another language, and begrudgingly befriend our host family. We watched Enemy Mine, a big budget Star Trek episode starring Dennis Quaid. How will Enemy Mine hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Matthew

This week we eat some giant pancakes with some annoying children. We watched Uncle Buck, there just ain't enough John Candy out there. RIP. How will Uncle Buck hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Alex, Candace Directed by John Hughes Starring: John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Louisa Kelly, Gaby Hoffmann, Amy Madigan, Elaine Bromka, Garrett M. Brown, Laurie Metcalf, Jay Underwood, Brian Tarantina, Mike Starr

This week we dust off our Rex-Kwon-Do and sweet nunchuck skills while we eat our pocket tots. We watched Napoleon Dynamite, because we do whatever we feel like we wanna do. Gosh! 2004's most quoted movie. How will Napoleon Dynamite hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Alex, Charlie Directed by Jared Hess Starring: Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell, Diedrich Bader, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Haylie Duff

This week we lose our Zords, but no worries, its always in the last place you look....We watched Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995), oozing for 30 years. How will Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko Directed by Bryan Spicer Starring: Karan Ashley, Johnny Yong Bosch, Steve Cardenas, Jason David Frank, Amy Jo Johnson, David Yost, Paul Schrier, Jason Narvy, Paul Freeman, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick, Nicholas Bell, Peta-Marie Rixon, Jean Paul Bell, Kerry Casey, Mark Ginther, Julia Cortez

This week on Myopia Movies, we indulge the dog days of summer with a visit to The Sandlot. This is the first time I noticed the puppet, the terrifying terrifying puppet. How will The Sandlot hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Alex, Matt Directed by David Mickey Evans Starring: Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, Art LaFleur, Patrick Renna, Denis Leary, Karen Allen, James Earl Jones, Marley Shelton.

This week we revisit the Double Deuce and revisit Road House, a delightful film and cast. How will Road House hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matt, Alex Directed by Rowdy Herrington Starring: Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott

This week on Myopia, we realize why the Superman franchise went dormant for nearly two decades, we watched Superman IV: The Quest for Peace...why. I mean....Nuclear Man alone...our shortest episode in years....sorry, not sorry. How will Superman 4: The Quest for Peace hold up? Spoilers, poorly. Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur Directed by Sidney J. Furie Starring: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Jon Cryer, Sam Wanamaker, Mark Pillow, Mariel Hemingway, Jim Broadbent

In honor of the release of the new Pedro Pascal Fantastic Four: First Steps, we interrupt our Super Month with a special release! This week on Myopia Movies, we manage to find something even dumber than getting hit with cosmic rays in space—and that’s saying something. We’re diving headfirst into the joyless, gloomy void that is Josh Trank’s 2015 Fantastic Four or as we kept calling it Fant-4-stick. It’s not just a bad superhero movie—it’s a bleak, baffling mess that somehow makes stretchy limbs, fire powers, and teleportation feel like a chore. Buckle up as we unpack the film that redefined the phrase "fantastic failure." How will Fantastic Four (2015) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur and Keiko Directed by Josh Trank Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson, Joshua Montes, Dan Castellaneta, Chet Hanks, Tim Heidecker

This month we continue our Superman rewatch and visit a chaotic Richard Pryor movie. In this episode of Myopia: The Podcast, we dive into the much-maligned Superman 3 (1983), a film that takes the Man of Steel in some bizarre new directions. From Richard Pryor's unexpected comedic role to the weird, campy tone that sets it apart from its predecessors, we break down why Superman 3 is often seen as a quirky misstep in the franchise. Is it as bad as its reputation suggests, or is there something surprisingly endearing about this oddball sequel? Join us as we talk about the strange balance of comedy and heroism, the infamous computer scene, and why Superman 3 remains a unique chapter in Superman's cinematic history. Strap in for a wild ride of nostalgia, critique, and maybe even a little admiration for this super-powered oddity! How will Superman 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko, Alex Directed by: Richard Lester Starring: Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Margot Kidder, Annette O'Toole, Jackie Cooper, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn

In honor of the James Gunn Superman, we continue our Supermonth! This week on Myopia Movies, we leap tall plot holes in a single bound and confront the chaos of Superman II (1980)—a sequel caught in a tug-of-war between two directors, studio meddling, and a trio of space fascists in disco pajamas. We ask: Does the Man of Steel’s second outing still soar, or does it crash under the weight of tonal whiplash, questionable powers, and a very random kiss of forgetfulness? Join us as we revisit the strange saga behind the scenes, mourn the Donner cut that could have been, and try to figure out how cellophane chest symbols became an acceptable weapon. Tune in, or kneel before Zod. Make sure to like and subscribe wherever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us everywhere! How will Superman II (1980) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew Directed by: Richard Lester – after Richard Donner was fired Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas