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In this episode, I respond to a surge of listener questions about masculinity following a recent documentary on the so-called “manosphere.” The central question is simple: what does Stoicism actually say about what it means to be a man?
I begin by clarifying a core Stoic idea. Just as the Stoic aims toward the ideal of the Sage, a man should aim toward becoming a good man. These are not fixed endpoints but guiding horizons. The goal is not perfection, but progress toward moral excellence over the course of a lifetime.
From there, I address the common claims made by masculinity influencers. Wealth, physical strength, refusal to be censored, and dominance over women are often presented as defining traits of a “good man.” From a Stoic perspective, all of these fail. Wealth and strength are external. They do not determine character. Unfiltered speech is not virtue, but often a failure of judgment. And dominance over others is fundamentally unjust, especially when it involves suppressing another person’s rational agency.
So what, then, defines a good man?
The Stoic answer is straightforward: a good man fulfills his roles well. He takes seriously what is appropriate of him as a human being, as a member of a family, a community, and the broader world. He reasons through his responsibilities and works consistently to meet them. He is patient, just, self-controlled, and committed to improving both himself and the lives of those around him.
This leads to an important conclusion. The qualities that make a good man are the same qualities that make a good woman. Reason, virtue, and the capacity for moral development are not gendered traits. As Musonius Rufus argued, both men and women share the same capacity for virtue and should be trained accordingly.
I close by emphasizing that masculinity, properly understood, is not about status, power, or control. It is about living in accordance with reason and fulfilling one’s roles well. That is what it means to be a good man. And ultimately, that is what it means to be a good human being.
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