SONG SYNOPSIS:
A five-inch copper idol has outlived every thief who ever believed he'd stolen her. Lifted from a wealthy widow's dinner table by a smooth investment counselor, she settles into his pocket and begins collecting on the debt — luck for worship, fortune for obedience. He believes the theft was his idea; she has been choosing men like him for centuries, letting each one believe he's the thief right up until he understands he was only ever the prize. She doesn't hide what she is. She simply waits for him to stop asking.
SONG INSPIRATION:
Inspired by "Ranee of Rajputana" by CBS Radio Mystery Theater from January 24, 1978, as heard in the Weird Darkness Retro Radio episode "Queen of Thieves" (https://weirddarkness.com/wdrr0689/).
ABOUT THE ARTIST:
Alena Ingram is a solo vocalist on Weird Darkness Records — a voice built for the years between 1945 and 1965. Now in her early 40s, she came up the hard way; she was the girl your parents warned you about long before she ever stepped into the spotlight. Smoky, gravel-edged, and all attitude, she sings like she knows more than she's letting on — a crooked smile that gives away the mischief in her, a small scar that hints at the rougher life she'll never talk about. Sultry, guarded, and just a little dangerous, she doesn't have a single mood so much as a single presence: she becomes whatever the song needs. One night she's the woman you pity in a slow, aching ballad; the next she's the one you should have run from, fronting a brassy big-band swinger. The heartbreak and the menace belong to the song; the smoke, the nerve, and the mischief are always hers. Candlelit lounge or packed ballroom, if it lives somewhere in those two decades, it sounds like it was waiting for her.
"Queen of Thieves" by Alena Ingram
[Verse 1] You found me on a table where many other bright things were, You slid me off the silver tray while the room was a stir. Such a quick little hand you had. Such a clever little sin. Close your fingers now, my servant, as my luck seeps into your skin.
[Chorus] I'm the deity known as the Queen of Thieves, And I keep whatever you take. Everything that you steal, you are stealing in honor of me.
My luck and fortune is what you receive, And your will I will easily break. Steal for your copper idol and get down on bended knee.
[Post Chorus] That is your act of worship to me, Your goddess, the Queen of Thieves.
[Verse 2] I'm an idol, cold copper, five inches and a face from the East, I'm the queen they once carried at the head of each feast. Every thief needs a goddess like me that he hides out of sight, Just follow my whispers always and I'll make all your wrong actions right.
[Verse 3] Through centuries I have warmed the pockets of cleverer men, And I'll tell you the same thing that I told each one of them: You can flaunt or hide me, be your secret or trophy, but you'll never flee — No one who has chanced to hold me has ever been able to get free.
[Chorus] I'm the deity known as the Queen of Thieves, And I keep whatever you take. Everything that you steal, you are stealing in honor of me.
My luck and fortune is what you receive, And your will I will easily break. Steal for your copper idol and get down on bended knee.
[Post Chorus] That is your act of worship to me, Your goddess, the Queen of Thieves.
[Bridge] They'll come asking questions, but don't ever fear, Mortals never stopped me in two hundred years. Just follow my lead and you won't get the blame, Be it robbing or murder, it's my will all the same.
[Verse 4] Send those prayers night and day, I'm the only one that you need, I'll continue to bring fortune, and charm your every criminal deed. You thought you took me that night, but it was I who chose you, I could see in your soul that you'd bring pleasure for me to undo.
[Chorus] I'm the deity...
