What should we expect from a father?

This year’s John Lewis Christmas advert puts an emotional focus on a father-son relationship. It shows a dad and his teenage boy struggling to put their feelings into words. It points to what many observe as a wider crisis in fatherhood. Numerous studies suggest that an involved father significantly improves a child's life chances. However, in the UK, a teenager is more likely to own a mobile phone than live with their dad, according to a 2025 report from the Centre for Social Justice.

The reasons are complex. Traditionalists cite changing gender roles leading to conflicting societal expectations on men and a confusion of male identity. Progressives suggest the pressure on dads to be strong for their family, both financially and emotionally, makes it difficult for them to demonstrate vulnerability, and that leads to guilt, stress and burnout. Youth workers report how the lack of a male role model at home can make space for other damaging influences - in the real world and online, in gangs and in the “manosphere” - pushing a very narrow definition of masculinity, and begetting more ill-equipped fathers.

What should be the role of a father, practically, emotionally and morally? How, if at all, should it be different from that of the mother? Do we expect too much or too little of fathers? Do children always need fathers in their lives? How should we address the ‘rinse-and-repeat’ cycle of absent fathers?

Chair: Julie Etchingham Panel: Carmody Grey, Giles Fraser, Anne McElvoy and James Orr. Witnesses: Tony Rucinski, Genevieve Roberts, Anton Noble, Ed Davies. Producer: Dan Tierney.