The Magellans on Kirk Vs Picard

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nerds of all ages, welcome to Magellans at the Movies Film Fight Night! We have an electrifying match for you this evening: a contest that has been raging across fandom for decades, a question that has divided geeks into two factions of noble warriors doing battle on message boards in the name of their preferred champion, a smackdown between two of the most famous, most celebrated, most prolific characters in all of science fiction, that's right Trekkies, for one night only Magellans at the Movies will be an arena in which Captains Kirk and Picard will go head-to-head in a contest for the title of Ultimate Enterprise Captain World Champion! In this corner we have the gallant and committed leader of men, seducer of women, merciful sparer of Gorns, and triumphant winner of a thousand poorly choreographed brawls across the stars, let's hear it for James T. Kirk! And his challenger, the Bald Burly Brit (who's actually supposed to be French), the man who became a Borg and lived to tell the tale, the man who defended and befriended an android, the man for whom surrender is a four letter word, give it up for Jean Luc Picard! Each captain will be represented by their standout film, for Kirk the gratifying, satisfying, Spock-killing, man-thrilling, space dictator spilling classic The Wrath of Khan! Don't pop the champagne yet, though, Kirk fans, because first he'll have to best Picard as he embarks on a time-travelling cyborg-slaughterfest chiller, thriller, all warp and no filler First Contact! Ladies and gentlemen, affix your universal translator, set your phasers to fun, and beam up with Nathan and Elliot as they travel at warp nine where millions have gone before on a journey of excitement, laughter, and tears through the very heights of the Star Trek franchise on film and plant their flags for either Shatner or Stewart! Energize!

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