Lost in the Hallways

Welcome back to Gnostic Insights and the Gnostic Reformation on Substack. It’s been a few weeks since I recorded a live episode, and here I am. Now, I don’t have any particular Gnostic insights for you today. However, I do have some interesting news to share and a very strange experience I had a couple of days ago. So, let’s start with the news.

One of the reasons I don’t have a new episode for you this week, in particular a philosophical episode, is because I’ve been working on a stage play called A Midwife’s Trial. I wrote this play about 15 years ago, and I pulled it out of the drawer a couple weeks ago and decided to polish it and get it on its feet. I went with a friend to a little theater a few weeks ago, and they were putting on 12 Angry Men. Now, if you’ve never seen the movie 12 Angry Men, the original, there’s a newer movie, really bad, but the old classic movie starring Henry Fonda and 11 other very well-known actors of the black and white movie era—it’s a great movie. You should see it. It’s the story of the jurors in a deliberation room.

They’ve just watched a trial, and they’re in the deliberation room. The entire movie or play takes place around the deliberation table, and they are the 12 Angry Men, the jury.

My play is also a trial story, but it’s the trial side of it, so it makes like a nice bookend to 12 Angry Men. So, that’s why it reminded me to get my play back out and try it again. I had sent it around to play festivals and whatnot about 15 years ago. It made one final round, but didn’t win any prizes, so I put it away.

It’s based upon my doctoral dissertation, The Trial of a California Midwife, and it is an enactment of actual trial testimony from a couple of midwives, an obstetrician, and then the two attorneys, one for the prosecution and one for the defense, and of course the judge. Those are all the characters. And then it cuts back and forth to a reenactment of this difficult birth that is the subject of the trial. So, it’s a very interesting play. I think it’s fascinating personally, and I’m hoping that audiences will too.

I went ahead and contacted the creative director of the theater where I watched 12 Angry Men, and he says, yeah, sounds good. We’ll get you on the schedule for August. So, now it looks like I’m going to have a stage play staged in the town of Phoenix, Oregon. It’s between Ashland and Medford in southern Oregon. I’m going to produce and direct the play myself, which means that for the first time in my theater experience, I will have the power of casting, which is very exciting as well. Anyway, so that’s a little piece of exciting news for me, but it’s been taking up my mind and it’s been taking up my writing time. So, that’s my excuse for not having any new Gnostic Insights episodes for you. And if you live in the southern Oregon area or northern California, I do hope you will come and see the play.

I’m also in the process of having the Children of the Fullness: A Gnostic Myth children’s book turned into an animated video. That’s very exciting. I got together with a fellow on LinkedIn, and he’s done a great job of animating these still pictures that are in the children’s book. So, we’re in the final polishing stage of that also. That should be available before too long on YouTube or wherever I can figure out it should go.

What I mainly want to tell you about today is a very strange experience I had this week, day before yesterday. In November, my insurance coverage changed, and my primary care provider was not going to be covered by the insurance company that I had been with. So, I had to look for a new primary care provider, and it just so happens I don’t live very far from the VA hospital in White City, Oregon.

It used to be an Army base in World War II, and then they changed it into a Veterans Administration hospital. And, by the way, part of the reason I linked into them, is because I actually live in one of the barracks from White City.

My historic home is two parts. Half of the house is an 1875 farmhouse. That’s a two-story farmhouse, and I rent out that part of the house as an Airbnb rental, and it can accommodate parties of six pretty easily. The other side of my house is a set of Army barracks that were stuck onto the farmhouse around 1949, after the war was over, and White City was disassembling itself as an Army base, and people bought the old barracks as scrap lumber. So, the man that lived in my house in the 1940s bought two Army barracks and stuck them on the side of this farmhouse, and I live in one of those Army barracks. The other barracks is the garage. I like living in the barracks. It’s a very nice space, very cabin-y feeling, built in the 1930s, all local wood.

So, I signed up with the VA to be my primary care physicians, and I have to tell you, very nice people. I’ve been to a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, and a primary care person there at the VA over the last couple of months. All three of them from other countries. That’s kind of funny to me. From Bulgaria, from Sri Lanka, and I didn’t even ask where the acupuncturist is from, but he sounds Eastern European. Very nice people and very competent care providers. Well, anyway, back to the weird part of the story.

Day before yesterday, I went out to White City, my first appointment with their chiropractor.

The VA hospital complex there, is made up of old two-story brick buildings. I think they probably replaced what must have been earlier wooden buildings when World War II was going on, and so these are really boring-looking boxes of brick buildings, two-story boxes, and they’re all right near each other and connected by corridors or breezeways. My appointment was in the upper floor of building 209, but you enter through the lower floor of 201, and there are like eight buildings you’ve got to get through to get to 209, and they’re all connected. That’s the way you get to building 209. The parking lot’s in front of building 201.

So, I had brought a book with me, a library book, a very good library book that I’m enjoying reading that my brother Bill had recommended. He’s loving it. It’s called Culpability, and it’s about a car crash and who was at fault. Very well written and philosophical at the same time, and it includes AI and all kinds of stuff, self-driving automobiles and whatnot. So, I wanted to bring the book with me to read in the waiting room.

Not that I’ve ever had to wait, because here’s the peculiar thing about this VA facility that I’ve been going to—I seem to be the only patient. It’s like I’m in one of those Reddit spaces called Mall World or Liminal Spaces, if any of you have ever been into any of those types of Reddit discussion groups, because there’s hardly any patients. Then the only people I see as I’m walking, and it takes, honestly, it takes about 20 minutes or a half hour to get from where I walk in to get back there to the chiropractor’s office. Maybe I saw three patients in all of that time.

Corridor after corridor after corridor with empty waiting rooms, and the only people you see is glancing into office rooms, on the right and left, where people are working at their computers on whatever the heck they’re working on, because I never see patients there. It’s very strange. So, that in itself is very much like this place called Liminal Space or Mall World on Reddit.

Anyway, I had brought my dog. He was waiting for me in the car. He’s a small dog, and so he has basically a high chair set up in the passenger seat, and he sits there to be able to see out the window as we drive along.

Well, I know he likes to get in the driver’s seat and lay down when I’m doing errands and out of the car, so I set my book down on the roof of the car and straightened out a towel on the driver’s seat, and then I went into the building.

Now, I lost the book somewhere. It’s a library book. I lost a library book. I don’t know if I left it on the roof of the car or if somewhere between 201 and 209. I did use a ladies room, and it had a couple of stalls in there, and it had a window with windowsill. I didn’t want to leave my purse out there on the windowsill, but I didn’t mind leaving the library book on the windowsill, so I took the purse into the stall with me, and then I came out. And by the time I got to the chiropractor’s office—of course, I was the only patient there—I didn’t have the book anymore.

At first I thought I’d left it on the roof of the car when I was straightening the towel for the dog, so I said to the corpsman who was helping the chiropractor, oh darn, I left my book on the roof of the car. I hope nobody steals it. When the appointment was over and I made my long way back to the car, there was no book on the roof of the car, so either someone had stolen it, I figured, or I had left it in the bathroom on the windowsill instead. I wasn’t sure whether I left it on… I know I set it on the roof of the car, but perhaps I picked it up and took it into the bathroom.

So I went back into the building and attempted to retrace my steps between 201 and 209 to look for, first, the stairwell I had taken—and that’s another thing that figures in these liminal spaces stories–stairwells. The stairwell I had taken from the first floor to the second floor in one of those buildings, I don’t know which one, had yellow daisies. It was a yellow flower motif painted on the stairwell walls. All of the stairwells have different motifs. So I was looking for the yellow stairwell that I took to the second floor and I couldn’t find it.

So I went back and forth all this time looking for that yellow stairwell, couldn’t find it, and I’m passing through these empty hallways, and when I say there were very few patients, the weird thing about White City VA, of course, is that it seems that most of the patients that I’ve seen there are Vietnam or Korean veterans because they’re very elderly and usually in wheelchairs or walkers. I myself am not a spring chicken, but I can walk pretty good. Well, anyway, so that’s the other weird thing about it. The only people you see are elderly.

So I’m looking for the yellow stairwell. I can’t find it, and I opened all those doors. I could not find the right ladies room, either, and I, of course, didn’t see the book. So I spent probably an hour and a half combing the hallways of 201-209 looking for a stairwell I couldn’t find and looking for a restroom I couldn’t find and looking for this book that I lost.

But here’s the weird thing about the whole experience—I mean, I spent all this time—it was just like a dream. I do have a repetitive dream where I’m searching for something that I can’t find. So I thought to myself, oh my god, this is just like my dream, only it was for real. And it’s true. I couldn’t find it. Here’s how I would characterize it: I lost an object day before yesterday in a very confusing place in a room that I could not locate accessed by a stairwell that apparently doesn’t exist. So that was one weird experience. I wanted to share that with you for some reason.

I figured, oh no, this is really going to trigger my dream, but I haven’t had that dream in the last two days. I just had the actual experience. If this prompts anything in you, please share it with us.

I’d love to hear back from you. God bless us all, and onward and upward.